So don't hate me, but I signed up on a sugar baby/sugar daddy website, and I really need some advice?

I just wanted to check it out, and I'm single, it's summer, I have time... and I ended up making a full on profile. I read some of the profiles from the men there, and many of them were different than I thought. They wrote really thoughtful, detailed explanations of what they're looking for, and how they view these arrangements, and I started to change my mind about the whole thing. There are even many guys in their 20's and 30's (successful tech entrepreneurs, lawyers, doctors, executives, etc.) who aren't as wealthy as the 40-60 year old multi-millionaires (some are), but want to be sort of like a rich boyfriend who buys you nice things, takes you out, and on trips, but who you have an actual relationship with. They're not bad-looking either, and in decent shape. They're just really short on time, very busy, and many travel a lot so it's hard to maintain a traditional relationship. They want someone very pretty, fit, sweet, and giving, who they can be with and spoil with no drama or stress.

I don't really want to see guys older than my dad, but seeing one of these younger guys? It's really tempting. I've already received several messages, and interest, some men offering allowances between 3-10K/month even (though I don't know how I feel about an allowance), but I haven't replied yet. I guess I just need outside opinions on whether I'm making a mistake or not, and why you think that, or why not. I'm so conflicted. Please try to keep an open-mind and really consider what I'm saying before writing a reply, though. Pretend you're me. How would you feel in my position? What would you do? Thank you!

Updates:
Maybe I should've restricted this to just girls...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If I were you I'd be extremely cautious about who I meet up with. Meeting up with anyone online, even tinder can be dangerous at times so I would recommend bringing some self defence item with you for your first meet up with someone just in case.

    When you make an arrangement you have to be clear to each other about what you both want. And if there is a case that you may not want to have sex you need to say so. Or if it is that you don't want sex on the first date it's best you hint it or say straight away.

    If you meet up with someone and you feel like they are treating you like shit, don't be afraid to end the arrangement.

    Also if you think something seems almost far too good to be true, try not to fall for it.

    And lastly, never bring them to your home, I would say having a fake name would be ideal as well, just in case. But do whatever you feel the most comfortable with. And also there might be a case that your first date doesn't work out how you wanted it to, just like in normal dating, don't stress it, there are many more out there that may work for you. And try to meet perhaps a few dates at a time? I mean, whatever you feel comfortable with, or if you wanna give it a shot on one person, well that's up to you.

    Good luck and stay safe. 😊

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What Guys Said 23

  • Well, I guess you both get something in return from each other. I don't quite get the "allowance" thing. Is this them giving you money to have fun with while you date them? I am an older guy and I could see the appeal from both sides. I could appreciate a younger girl that is fit, fun to be with, sexy. She would be like a breath of fresh air! In return you get someone mature and established in life, someone who knows how to properly treat a lady. As long as you find a nice guy, I think you both could have a really great relationship. I highly doubt it would turn into anything super serious, but if you are looking for something sorta temporary, short to medium term, this could be interesting for sure. I doubt these guys are looking for a family and marriage.

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  • Genuine advice? Don't do it. Its nothing more than being an exclusive prostitute.

    And generally speaking its a path thats really bad to come back from, because eventually you learn to experience sex as a commodity rather than a sense of shared intimacy and pleasure.

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    • Yeah, I'm worried I wouldn't be as happy dating normal guys if I do this.

    • The answer is you wouldn't. Sex will become a commodity that you offer. There is no ifs nor buts. It will become that way. And going back from that is a tough - and for many impossible - route.

      Not to mention that many guys looking for serious relationships will take big distance from you.

  • It honestly doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. There's going to be people that say go for it and ones that think otherwise. You have to decide for yourself. There is obviously a part of you that really wants it but I'm guessing a part of you that feels it's "wrong" (guilty). You have to decide for yourself what you want and what you can live with. You've come this far, might as well try it and find out.

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  • So. . . you are seeking validation from others for your decision to be a prostitute.
    I will neither validate nor condemn you, because you are the person who has to live with herself and the consequences of her decisions.

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    • Not validation, just opinions and hopefully genuine advice.

    • Since you have asked, my advice would be to not do it.
      One day you will wake up, look in the mirror and have a "oh my God, what have I done/become" moment.
      As a sugar baby, none of these men are ever going to marry you, even if you managed to find one who was younger than your father and looked okay.
      When you hit the wall (about age 30) you will find yourself alone and you will have a past as a prostitute, even though she had only one client. . . or a series of exclusive clients.
      Trust me when I tell you that by the time that you are 30 (a) good men will be thin on the ground and (b) karma has a funny way of catching up with all of us. In your case, you can be certain that your past as an exclusive prostitute will become known.
      Do you think that any man worth having would want a prostitute to be the mother of his children?
      Please watch this video. It is worth 37 minutes of your life.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9MREmmWWc

  • I say do it 3k- 10k is nothing to sneeze at. Be sure to reinvest the money into something that can make you money , so that you can stop when you feel like it. My personal suggestion would be a multifamily home such as a duplex. You can live in 1 unit and rent out the other side. With you a little time and planning on your part you will never have to work again. 1 last thing I have known some cam girls who get paid to take off their clothes. Those same girls still have boyfriends husbands children etc etc. I personally know some and they are very happy with their boyfriends husbands etc. Hopefully this helped.

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    • Thank you, I appreciate that! I met with one of the guys I'm considering (net worth 50 mil), and he gave me $500 upfront, just to meet with him over coffee and talk! I said I like to read and he said next time he sees me he'll gift me a Kindle. Asked if he could pay my college tuition for last year and this year. I think this is really happening. I have no idea how to properly invest money though, I need to read up on that.

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    • I would think it would fall under a self employed. You should keep say 25% 30% or what have you , to be paid back at the end of the year depending on what bracket you gonna be in. :(

    • Isn't it considered a gift though? It's not like I have a job contract.

  • Use condoms and BC.

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  • When I was 23 , I ended up with a invite from a really good looking 56 yr old woman. I went there... To pebble beach ca , multi / million dollar home. I lived there with her for 12 years. So to answer your? That was the greatest moments of my life time... age difference? Who cares... Ps. She was a very special and carring person with a lot of empathy towards others...

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  • You're on that slippery slope to prostitution.

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    • Maybe so, but the benefits... This is not like $100 for a blowjob. It's a substantial salary.

  • Well you signed up with the worst of intentions.

    You still want to be spoiled for nothing more than having a vagina.

    My advice? Drop your ego and meet the guy who sounds the least like he wants to spoil an entitled princess and wants to have a respectable relationship.

    Don't demand or expect and money or spoils. Just be grateful for the security. It's not your money, you're not entitled to it.

    If you change your attitude to that described by me above, then you might actually have a decent shot of keeping your soul.

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    • man.. reading the female comments...

      Women are disgusting... "WE WANT EQUAL RIGHTS BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!"

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    • Oh stop lol. Men would do the exact same thing if it was offered to them.

    • Unlike you are with your vagina, if you know what I mean HUHUHUHUHUHU! lol :P

  • Always fun to spoil women :)

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  • Why don't you just advertise on craigslist if you want to be a whore? I mean, that's what it is. Having sex for money. Being a whore.

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    • I won't get 10K/month from anyone on Craig's list. That's 120K/year - no taxes.

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    • It's mutual pleasure + benefits.

    • Benefit now, sure. But you will pay down the road for the cost of what you sold... Thats life

  • come on. you're thinking of being a hooker. great do you.

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  • This is prostitution at its finest. Just reoccurring clients. Be careful

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    • Didn't you say you would do this if it was with a woman though? 4000 each month? That's the same thing.

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    • Lol that's like saying someone who finds a wife who he loves is the same thing as a mail order bride.

    • It's more like meeting your wife on Match. com vs. meeting her through a friend. There's no real difference. You still love your wife and found an arrangement you're happy with.

  • You will haste time with men that are not into love. Like they say, they want a female for their short times. They will expect sex openess from you, more easily than with random girls, because you are being paid.

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  • I hate you.

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    • Should've expected that lol.

  • Nah you can do what you want idgaf be a prostitute

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  • 3-10K/month

    https://i.imgur.com/3sI2YOT.jpg

    holy shit, are there older women looking to spoil men too?

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    • There are a few yes! There are more older men looking to spoil younger guys though.

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    • That's true! I hope you find someone. There are other sites too, not just seeking arrangement. They're usually free for sugar babies, only sugar Daddy's/Mommas have to pay to use them.

    • thanks, i will look into it.

  • I've always wanted to try that... Lol

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  • i'd pound u ;)

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  • I see- first priority is money. You will squander your future for a pocket full of marbles. That's really sad.

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  • You should check out Calienteguerra, she's the most successful sugar baby so she probably has some tips. Also a really cute bum.

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  • well, you said it yourself, it was just something you stumbled upon, you weren't actively seeking it out, so, why take it seriously?

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  • You know that's pretty much prostitution, right?

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What Girls Said 9

  • It IS tempting. #brokelife
    I feel you, I sometimes wonder about those things too-but alas, I have a boyfriend, so, I will be taken and single.
    I'm just going to sell my eggs. You can look into that, you can get anywhere from 2000 to 100,000 (depending on which route you take)

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    • Someone who understands lol. Thanks.

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    • You're welcome, hope everything goes ok, whatever you choose.

    • take the money

  • How can you be certain these people on this website are telling the truth? They may claim to have money but people lie everyday, ESPECIALLY on the Internet when it comes to getting laid. I wouldn't condone this myself but if you are set on it then I would suggest the utmost caution, because I believe you will see more broken dreams than fantasies fulfilled honestly.

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    • I definitely understand the caution and wisdom behind that. Thanks!

  • Just be very cautious.. I can say from experience, not everyone online is who they say they are. I don't judge you in any way but I hope that you will be very careful

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  • No harm done if you meet him in a public place and ask him what he wants and you lay your terms on the table? If it doesn't feels right, its alright to say no out of gut instinct.

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  • Just because you're on a sugar daddy website, it doesn't mean that you are prostituting yourself.

    Imagine if you were on a regular dating site, and you would've date a guy in his 30s. Then it would've been alright right? But just because you date a guy on a sugar daddy website then ooooo nooooo you're a prostitute.

    I believe that everyone is free to do whatever they want and like. As long as you know your limits. In my case, I don't see it as prostitution at all, because I don't get paid to have sex. I have a regular sugar daddy, I see him with regularity, there is chemistry involved, and of course sex is a part of our relationship, but isn't part of any other relationship?

    at least for summer, I see it as the perfect job. Check SugarDaters blog, they have an eye opening blog post about summer jobs as a sugar babe :D

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    • Thanks!!

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    • @abundantlyrich You don't necessarily have to be gorgeous and slim. I've seen girls who are pretty with an average body get daddy's too. They tend to be older guys, but still.

    • Im just not high calibre model attraction. 😋

  • I can't pretend to be you because I wouldn't do it but you do you, girl. Just be careful because there are a lot of crazy people out there.

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    • That is true. Thanks.

  • Me = ex offline "sugar baby"

    This life isn't for anyone who is "so conflicted"

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    • I'm less conflicted now lol.

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    • An admirable and always necessary career.
      Much luck and future success xo

    • Thanks so much! You too 😊

  • I have done that before. I stopped doing it because I had no attraction to any of the men I was with. Some don't care but most want you to feel attraction towards them as well.

    My best advice is to be careful. A lot of men on there will promise x amount of $$ but then give you way less than that, act like you're being greedy, or decide they're no longer interested.
    Best thing is to come to an agreement before you do anything physical with them. A lot of them will try to persuade you to do a "test run" per say. Don't allow that to happen. Stand your ground.

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    • Thank you, I appreciate the advice and experience. So if we come to an agreement, should I wait until I see money in my account or in hand before getting physical, or what's the best way to do it?

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    • That's true. What if it's just 4 times a month? Would 3-4K be reasonable?

    • It depends. I had one guy give me $1000 up front for a bj. He was a nice guy though. Some are just more generous than others (or actually have more money)

  • Is this a real thing? Im interested. Where do I sign up?

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