Girls, Any females out there that have gotten GOOD results when pursuing a guy FIRST?

It seems as if there are many mixed feelings as to whether a female or male should be the one to ask out or make initiative. I've always believed that I should be genuine and go afte what I want so asking guys out hasn't been too hard for me. I'm just wondering if any females out there have gotten good results when doing so? And by pursuing first I mean asking the guy out first, approaching the guy first, maybe initiating conversations first, etc. I've noticed with shyer guys I need to initiate more as well, so I'm wondering if anyone has experience with shy OR less experienced guys as well.

  • Yes, I have
    49% (29)
  • No, I have never approached a guy
    22% (13)
  • No, I haven't gotten good results
    29% (17)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I see no reason why not to, I think all that gender rules are dumb
    I go for what I want and if it works works if not not, I have no regrets nor I waste my time

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What Girls Said 21

  • I'd say I generally have not had good results. Not saying a guy has never shown interest, it's just he ended up being crazy. Same for another guy I met online (the first guy was on my commute to work).

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    • I've heard a woman pursuing a guy can work out well and usually works out better but am I wrong for wanting to be pursued? I feel like I have been the so-called man in my last relationship. It would be nice for someone to legitimately put in some effort instead of everything being on me.

  • I'm the one who's shy as fuck in this story so bare with me..
    This guy is a year older than me and we got to the same school, at the time I was thinking "Well this guy is cute!" And the he started dating my friend (only lasted 1 week) and when they broke up I started looking at him in a different way bc i've seen that he is really adorable when he's in a relationship.
    Anyways, I was SOO DAMN SHY, and I got the courage to text him! So I searched his name on mensager and texted him AND I didn't notice that we weren't even friends on facebook so it was really embarassing.. BUT he texted me back so we were actually starting to be friends, and he seemed to be interested too also bc when I said that I had to go he asked why can't i talk a little more with him.. On the next day i tought "I can't text him today bc it would be awkward but if he texts me first.." AND HE DID!! And now we text each other often and we do these eye contacts in school..
    We are not dating bc I'm still new in this "dating world" so I'm still a little bit worried of what can happen next.. But yeah that's my story!
    I know it's long but I just wanted to say that girls should feel nervous when it comes to make the first initiate! :)
    Also, I would apreciate if someone could give me dating advice 😅

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  • I never advocate girls chasing guys. Flirting is one thing, but pursuing is another. A guy will find the balls to chase if he wants you badly enough. Yes, you have to let him know you like him, but I wouldn't never want to be with a guy who was 100% passive.

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  • Every time I pursue the guy I like first I end up not getting him, lol. Its so sad :( My current SO though he hit on me first but I rejected him, then I went up to him later and we ended up together for a while, its been like 8 months now in total. Thats the closest to success with a guy I approached (but not approached first).

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  • I go after guys all the time. I get my needs met.

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  • After I was introduced to my now-husband I asked him out first. He's shy and thought I was seeing someone. Since I wasn't, I asked him to join me for coffee and it worked out just swell.

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  • I've never had a problem telling a guy he was cute or hot or commenting on his outfit. Lol thats generally how convos start, I've had good and bad outcomes. Rejection isn't as bad as women think it is. I mean plenty of more fish in the sea so why get upset that one wouldn't catch the bait?

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  • My current guy of 3 years is a direct result of my pursuit.

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    • U are so lucky? and he never thought you were coming on to him or beling clingy since u were the chaser the pursuer? Some guys dont like women to be so chaser to them and it turns them off

    • @kitty71 after our first date I got nervous that it was one and done so I actually texted him "when's our second date?" And then on our fourth date he offered to cook me dinner at his house. I asked what should I bring and he said (jokingly) "your pajamas". I brought them! 😜And now it's been 3 years and he's very much a take charge guy.

    • That sounds amazing. I'd love to have that someday soon. If the time is right, of course. Not trying to force or rush anything.

  • Oh yeah.

    Seen that guy at my gym. Had wet dreams about him. Posted a question on Gag and decided it was time I manned up. Went up to him and asked him a question. We became friends and a few days later he asked for my number. Been going out together ever since.

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  • I've had 5 boyfriends ever 2 of them pursued me. I pursued teh other 3. All of them worked out pretty well.

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  • It's only resulted in making me feel like an inadequate piece of trash on three different occasions, so no, it hasn't worked for me. If it works for you however, by all means, do it, but I won't be doing it again

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  • I've gotten good results pursuing guys I didn't really like that much.

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  • I tried it for the first time a couple weeks ago and it's been working fine. Lol I've only done it once. Usually I like the guy to take the initiative tho

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  • No. They run from me or try to use me for sex.

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  • No its only bad results xD xD

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  • Never works for me

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  • I ha good result but I think he only said yes because he was too shy to say me no XD

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  • Approaching and chasing are two different things. Chasing involves someone not really interested in you. Approaching just means breaking the ice.

    I've had good results approaching, also a few rejections. But chasing has always been bad.

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  • does it sound if i asked him to sadies?

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  • This technically doesn't count but my boyfriend pursued me, i didn't bite but went and chased him later and it worked out.

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  • I haven't asked a guy out but i flaunt what i got to get their attention and its implied that i want him and he makes intament contact it makes them feel in control but they dont

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