How to be honest without hurting anyone?

Currently I’m out dating and I enjoy it. I work full time and go to school full time. My schedule is super busy so at the moment I’m not looking for a committed relationship. How do I tell a guy that I really like I can’t offer him a relationship without ruining what we have?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Say exactly that.

    "I really like you, but I'm so busy right now that I can't really give a serious relationship the time/attention it deserves." maybe keep it casual until you can!

    It might hurt him, but less than any other way you might try to phrase it, because if he is or ever was busy too he will understand.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the *exact* same situation. The bad thing about it is that guys will fall for you and develop feelings that are more than what you can reciprocate. I honestly feel bad when this happens, but what can you do but be honest with him?

    I'm like you, just not ready or interested in settling down with one guy. So I tell guys that early in the flirting, just so they know what I'm doing. At this point, tell him you really like him and want to keep seeing him but don't want a full-on relationship. Compliment him genuinely so he knows you're not just brushing him off... that always works well for me. If he's cool with it, great. Most guys have been willing to go along without a commitment. Good luck :)

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    • I totally get that, but I don't wanna come across as a slut for not wanting anything serious with anyone.

    • Oh, don't worry about that! Who's in a position to judge you for dating the guys you want and getting your needs met? Do what feels right to you and don't worry about what other people think.

What Guys Said 15

  • By explaining it to him just as you have here. He should understand and admire you for both your commitment to your schooling and your forthcoming approach to this matter as well as your honesty

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  • You can ease the effect by choosing your words carefully, but the message needs to be given. This is definetely something you should say, do it, but choose your words carefully.

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  • There is no way. You can tell him that you would date him under different circumstances and that you do feel attracted to him, if he believes you (he has no way of knowing you're that one girl on this planet who actually means this stuff when she says it) he will still be hurt, but without damage to his ego.

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  • Well if you're insistent on not wanting to date then you should just be blunt about it in a way that doesn't suggest it's a result of a failing in his end. Personally, I don't think there are many friendships out there that are really worth saving at the expense of possibly being with someone who is perfect for you. Most friendships don't last in the long run.

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  • You can't. Being honest means telling the truth no matter the sircumstances. Even slightly bending the truth to make it easy on someone is lying...

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  • Rip off the bandaid. Be done with it. Don't string hom along. That's selfish. Honesty is both your guides.

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  • Explain to him, that's the best way you can get your message across to him. Be brutally honest, lying is just going to ruin it.

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  • Tell him you have kids and they need a baby daddy. lol

    Seriously, just tell him your not looking for a relationship right now. Either he'll accept it or reject it. Most likely the former over the latter.

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  • Just hurt spme people. Wishy washy

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  • Well tell exactly what you are telling us.

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  • You don't, you chuckle and smile.

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  • I think you should just tell him. He will see that you are not suitable for long term relationship. Otherwise, it will be more painful.

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  • You said it yourself, by being honest. If you give him false expectations then he might get hurt.

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  • tell him

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  • tell him you're out for fun, not to be tied down. he'll get it, think you're friggin gross, and leave on his own terms.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You just have to tell him the truth without worrying about how he will take it. If you lead him on, it's only going to hurt him MORE in the end. If you aren't looking for a relationship, then you should be upfront and tell guys that at the very beginning. Just explain that you aren't looking for that right now, you don't even have to be specific or give reasons why. It only matters that you tell him what you ARE looking for with him (just a casual dating partner for fun, nothing serious).

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  • You just tell him, right in the beginning, before he even gets to the point where he can feel like you lead him on. However I would encourage you to be open to it, some guys will be understanding of a busy schedule and you can still maintain a relationship even when you're busy, especially if you both really like each other. Good luck with school and work!

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  • Dont talk about what you dont want talk about what you do want and make sure you both are ok with that.

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