Why are men giving their leadership roles to women when married or dating?

I notice that a lot of men today are letting women make the decisions all the time and most of my friends and people I talk to say their mom is the boss of the house including my own mother. It wasn't like that before I believe men should be the head of the house and should always be decisive know what to say and think and do. Why are they relying on women for everything now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Didn't know this was happening en masse. When I have a family, I think I will be the head with my wife being vice president.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because they've been brainwashed by feminism. A marriage is a partnership to me. Nobody should be in total control. Each person should be able to make decisions for the household after talking it through first.

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What Guys Said 18

  • I don't know about that but what I believe in is shared leadership. There are things a man can do that a woman can't and there are things women can do that a man can't. Typical example, a man builds a house but it is the woman who turns it into a home if you know what I mean

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  • Historically boys have had men to look up to and learn how to lead. This is no longer the case, many families have no men at all, or if there are men, the woman has all of the social power, and controls how and when the men have access to the children. In fact many boys see men as expendable and easily replaceable, from the actions of their own mothers. Add to this that there are few male teachers in grade school and boys get this overwhelming sense that women are in charge.

    So now the boy grows up to be a man, he is trained that he is easily replaceable, and his opinions about the home and the home structure just don't count, He has a constant threat of divorce and loosing EVERYTHING that he has built, over the whim of his wife. So of course he is going to defer to her, what choice does he have?

    Men's roles have also evolved from breadwinner, head of the household to ex husband and source for child support. Guys know this, they aren't stupid, There was a famous feminist quote from my childhood "a woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle" and we are just seeing the result of that thinking.

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    • Let me give you a real situation that has happened to many guys
      Woman and man get into an argument over something trivial
      Guy leaves to cool off, or work or something
      and comes home to find the cops there
      she has filed a restraining order against him he has 20 minutes under police escort to collect his things and go, he can not contact her, or come by the house
      He must continue to pay the mortgage/rent as well as survive on his own

      This is the political reality of today's merrage

    • I'm not surprised that someone can get a restraining order that easily and quickly in your country. The US justice system is so fucked up beyond belief.

  • well this isn't really anything new. even going back 50+ years it has often been that the woman was the "boss". she often paid bills and allotted finances for the house

    to suggest that men are relying on women for everything isn't really true though. just because you let a person make household decisions doesn't mean you don't have a say or that they are doing "everything"

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  • It's in the nature of some people to lead and gender doesn't factor into that. Just because men are expected to be leaders does not mean that they are more likely to be leaders. I personally often times find myself in a leader role but that's not because I'm a man, it often comes down to me being the most assertive person in the room. If men were natural leaders then you would not be seeing this issue at all. Leadership is a mental characteristic, it has little to do with bodily strength. It requires someone to be assertive, intelligent, and free thinking. How many people do you know with these traits? Those are the leaders. You will notice that not everyone with a penis has those traits and not everyone with those traits has a penis because leadership doesn't have anything to do with someone's penis or lack thereof.

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  • Think about this for a minute... Women have nasty mood swings, many are drama queens, deal with their period every 28 days and many think the hair on their head makes the world go 'round.

    There are guys out there who will let an animal with these qualities be in charge of the home let alone our country?

    The dumbing down of America is in full-swing lol

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    • Therr are guys like that that let it happen and let the women take charge

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    • I am the head of the household. When it comes to sex I find it is fulfilling to share the lead role. It is just as erotic for me to sexually have my way with her as it is to have her tell me, "fuck me, fuck me harder..." and whatever she wants to say to me. It is roll-playing. It keeps our sex life together interesting.

    • Strong username to post content ratio.

  • Because the squeaky wheel is the one that gets the oil and many women are very squeaky and then the men just give up so she'd shut up. Furthermore, we are not as uptught and picky about things as women are.

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  • It's economically profitable. Saves time to just delegate and even allow others to manage the immaterial.

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    • Ew nO. Men must be men. Men lead and women follow.

    • In this day and age when men are men and women don't like it it's "controlling". Why bother with that hassle?

  • When I get married we'll be an anarcho-syndicalist commune.

    We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
    But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
    By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major issues.

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  • Third-Wave feminism is making men women and women men. It's making everyone miserable and fucking up the dynamic.

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    • So you are going to be the head of the house hold?

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    • So that means you like submissive women.

    • Submissive but a strong submissive. Not a woman that people walk all over and is helpless/naive. I typically end up dating women that are complete bitches to everyone else but extremely submissive towards me. I like the idea of earning that submissiveness. If she is submissive to everyone else then she is just feeble minded and weak.

  • i think it should be 50/50. making a decision together is always better than making decisions alone although it depends on the kind decision.

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    • Okay, fine I understand but men still should still be the head

  • Then what is your role? Spreading the legs? We come home tired dealing with so many things and you want us to take the responsibility of the house too? I will lead the house if my wife bring home the bread.

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  • I think that's incorrect.
    There is nothing wrong with the woman making some decisions as long as the man has veto power in important matters.

    " It wasn't like that before"

    How would you know? lol. Media, and people, usually romanticizes the past, and forget the actual events.

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  • if a man is making all the decisions he must be single.

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  • We gave our best to get you, and we don't wanna lose you again.

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  • Pfff, not me.

    It's because the only men who get married are manginas and beta chumps.

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    • So you are going to be the boss of the house when/if you married?

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    • Okay so that must mean you like submissive women

    • No. I don't like women who think they know best, when women often have no concept of what life is really like, because they often get things handed to them. Therefore their perspective is skewed.

  • Because men have zero practice with theoretical 'consensus' decision making. Women have been doing it since they were small children. Men tend to play, as boys, in groups, with a leader, who may shift. Male groups tend to be 'leader' oriented. Women tend to socialize in pairs, or networks of pairs, each pair being theoretically equal.

    It used to be that in marriages, men were in charge, and they were okay with that, for the most part, with some doing a good job, some a shitty one. Then women started saying they wanted to be equal, and lots of guys said sure. But realistically, they either know how to be in charge, or how to be told what to do, because they don't argue. So if they're not in charge, she is.

    This is compounded by a fair number of young wives basically turning off the sex any time they're grumpy, so guys walk around trying to please her so she'll stop being cranky. That never works (or rarely), and she just gets more and more demanding over time, partially because she feels like 'she's the one in charge' and resents it. The more she complains, the more in charge he lets her be. Eventually he gives up and realizes he can't please her.

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  • Because women are so afraid of being submissive around the house that they over compinsate by making your life hell until you just let them take over. I've seen this many times. Hen they bitch about guys not being dominant. Well you get what you wish for.

    This is one reason guys don't want long term relationships any more. Not worth it for guys.

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  • Maybe those guys aren't traditional.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Because they've been expected to lead their entire lives and likely could use a break? Or it might not be in their personality.

    Gender doesn't = leader. That is entirely up to the individual. In my relationship my guy rarely makes conrete plans and he's not a big decision maker - big whoop. I either run things by him and make plans that way or I try to help him along. That's what being in a relationship is all about. You work together, as a team.

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    • No its nature that men dominate and lead. Thats how it was since beginning of time. Gender= leader men=leader.

    • Well if that's the case, then why are you having this issue?

      Your logic isn't adding up.

  • "It wasn't like that before..." Before what?

    Does your vagina sap away all your decision making abilities? Those damned vaginas!

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  • Not sure but I guess for some men, they have naturally submissive personalities and don't mind letting a woman take the lead. Personally, I think it should be a team effort. Neither gender should take on the exhaustion of leading all the time

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  • The one most suitable for the role should take the lead.
    Every relationship is different.

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