Should I feel bad for having sex with ex a few weeks after my first date with another guy?

Me and one of my ex broke up over a year ago, and only a recently we started talking again. But I am 100% certain we are not getting back together. I met this guy last month, and we only been on one date. And we haven't talked about being exclusive, as we have just met, and I barely know him. But I want to know him better. I really liked our date. When I call he is always so busy so we only seem to text, but he keeps saying he really likes me. But since I barely know him, I don't feel close and I wish we could talk more or see each other more. Something always comes up during our planned second dates, like his mom had to get surgery or he has to work , but he says he really wants to see me again. Should I feel awful for having sex with ex a few weeks after our first date? Should I tell the new guy and stop talking to said ex? Should I stop making an effort with new guy, since we barely talk and can't seem to get a second date rolling? I am confused.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like to me you just don't have your priority straightened out. Because if you did, no matter how tempting it maybe. You never would have slept with your ex. You need to figure out where your values are, because once he finds out, IF he does, he is going to be the one to stop dating with you. And you can't blame him if he did. At this point, it's all left on your conscious to answer if you should or shouldn't. It is not for us to answer for you. You made that decision, now it's your choice.

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What Guys Said 16

  • What does that have to do with anything? its not the second person's business what you do. Plus, nothing wrong with having sex with an ex... its just sex, not a promise of continuation. This person is a stranger for now... and nothing was established. Keep mum and see whats up with the second guy. Worst case, don't screw your ex again until you are sure about this one. and even then... shut the hell up.
    Now before i start getting judged... i were him, i'd want the frickin same... i am getting.. Getting to know you... nothing established and secondly, i don't wanna hear that after our first date you relapsed back to an ex... thats a crushing blow to the ego. Sometimes, you just gotta know when to be quiet. I thought that was a female specialty.

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    • This is the "women can do no harm" attitude that created the socialsexual problems we have today.

      Christ dude, have some self respect.

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    • Doormat, no. Son, I do things for people because I give a shit about them, not looking for something in return.

    • @Gommers well thats the way its supposed to be now isn't it... but don't you select WHICH people you do it for...
      Also... what does that have to do with my opinion? im just telling her to be free... and to keep mum.

  • Everyone thinks of dating as doesn't matter until it's exclusive date as many blanks as you want, I dunno I find it weird dating more than one at a time. In general this would be pretty fucked in my opinion. But the new guy is so flaky with dates he might not even really be interested. In general I think you should stop fucking around with an ex an forget about him if you're trying to date other guys though. Either way don't tell him.

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  • Sex with your ex you should feel terrible about. Dont stay in contact with your ex. he's an ex for a reason and that's all he wanted. One last bang. No need to tell the new guy but cmon. Be smart

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  • You have to figure out if you are over the ex completely before doing anything with anybody else. My fiancĂ©e rushed into a relationship with me and had a child with me and then cheated on me with her ex. She never got over the way he treated her and kept asking the what ifs after the situation was brought to light she realized how stupid it was to go back to a guy she didn't want just because of past insecurities he had caused she saw that she could have lost me but it gave her the closure she needed to allow herself to love me. So in my opinion know for sure that everything is done with your ex completely so that any other guy doesn't get hurt or feel worthless cause he can't replace the ex.

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  • If you aren't ready to move on then don't. And you clearly won't by having sex with an ex.

    You're biting more than you should be chewing.

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  • I think its ok cause u only had 1 date with the new guy. If you were doing stuff more regularly with the new guy, and still screwing ur ex that'd be wrong

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  • You should tell the guy because he deserves to know what kind of girl you are.

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  • you should feel even worse for using this poor guy while you still have feelings for an ex.. thats not right at all

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  • Tell the new guy and do what you like with you ex. See how it pans out.

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  • You're female. whoring around is what you do. No need to feel bad about following your nature.

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  • -_- cheating hoe

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  • You probably let your emotions lead you.

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  • It's only dating, so your not exclusive at all yet.

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  • These hoes ain't loyal smh

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What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly I don't think its ever a good idea to have sex with an ex. Because of your history it'll be really to catch feelings again and you probably don't want them getting in the way of new relationships.

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    • too bad it happens eh... i definitely don't recommend it for people who can't compartmentalize and emotional people. if you are one of them... dont. If you are one of me... well... go nuts.

    • @Tdieseler Yeah, I think it's probably tougher for girls to do that sort of thing though

    • So i hear... that inbuilt annoying commitment gene that guys don't have but y'all try to force on us and don't appreciate when we try, just make it harder.. :) ...
      You talking about that?

  • It isn't cheating or wrong if you're not exclusive. You can do whatever you want when you're single. You are single until you and another person agree to be exclusive. Also, this means that you don't have to tell him shit about your brief tryst with your ex. Nor do you have to tell this new guy anything about other guys you're seeing. Until you're EXCLUSIVE.

    Don't worry and enjoy being single with no expectations to anyone.

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  • Good thing you aren't dating him yet, but you need to move on from your ex, stop talking and seeing him, he's an ex for a reason. you're allowing him to disrespect you by having sex with him again after you both had broken up. You need to respect yourself too. As for that new guy, if you dont like how he seems to always be busy then you should be straight up with him and stop talking to him. However, if you do find that you want to take your relationship with him further, then you should understand him, and be patient.

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  • As someone in the new guy's position, yes. You need to stop talking to your ex, and give the new guy a real chance. But if you're still not over your ex, you need to cut all contact, and wait until you are 100% emotionally available for the new guy. It's not fair to him otherwise.

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