When guys try to be dominant?

am I the only girl here who feels like I'm being degraded a little when guys say or say they want to do certain things and they are the ones in 'control' in the scenario? I mean, I am an independent woman and sometimes it's just too much for me. ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem is some women like it and expect it, others completely don't. Guys have been told both and don't know how to act. Be dominant, take the lead, be decisive, but at the same time listen to everything she wants and don't pressure her. It's tough to win.

    And just because you *feel* like you're being degraded doesn't mean that they see it like that or had that intention at all. If you want something and you're independent like you say, then make your position on the matter known. Be mindful that he's trying to navigate the situation as well.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well i like taking the submissive role in bed it turns me on when a man knows how to take control (just in bed though. im not a super controlling person but i do make most of the decisions when im in a relationship and tend to be with submissive guys, which makes it even more attractive when such a submissive guy turns dominant in bed) but just like another girl said, its all about respect. of course if you (not directly implying you, just saying in general) have sex with some random guy who barely respects you, it would feel degrading to basically be used as his sex toy since he'd just be ordering you around and making you feel used, but if you're with someone who's serious about you and clearly respects you and stays in your comfort zone (like if you say you dont like your hair pulled, even though he's dominating you at the moment, he will listen and stop doing it because he actually cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you) then it shouldn't be a problem. but not every woman likes the submissive role in bed, maybe you're more dominant and thats cool too, there are plenty of submissive guys.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Shut up. Head down and ass up so I can bust some nuts.

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    • that's disgusting and degrading.

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    • too scared?

    • well then I guess you won't get justice but that's no ones fault but yours.

  • It's all about finding the right guy. You like to do things on your own, you don't like the idea of spending the rest of your life as a stay at home mom or something. Its just that image that bothers you right? Like you don't have a say? When he decides where you are going to eat tonight, he stops feeling like your boyfriend and now he feels more like your man and that makes you uncomfortable.

    I bet you don't even feel that good about the way I worded my answer. It's not abnormal and I'm glad you said it.

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  • Nah thats normal. No one likes a controlling partner unless it's in the bedroom. Other than that no one should tell you what you can and can't do.

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    • no that's what I mean. In the bedroom. It's hard for me to separate. I mean when I am ready for sex I'm not sure how that's going to turn out if he is like that you know?

    • Ahh I see. Well some girls are dominate in bed. There are some submissive guys. Some girls like it when the guy is in control of their and at his mercy. Some girls dont. I guess you should wait and see what you like when it happens. Independent women can be submissive as well. I think you'll just have to see what you like but outside the bedroom you both are equal.

  • There is no try, only do!
    I dunno it depends on the situation, the way you state it, it sounds shitty. Sometimes the guy should be like that, I'm generally too laid back to really gaf.

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  • If it's too much then just say it. No one's forcing you to do it.

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  • What are we supposed to do with that information?
    What is your question here?

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  • You don't have to do it, it's a fetish many women and men have. It's only in the bedroom, outside the bedroom your equal.

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    • yes but I don't understand how a woman would still not feel like she was being degraded.

    • It's just a fetish. The people who do it don't do it to degrade the other person, it's something they both enjoy.

  • Ones who say that reallt are prolly just creepy virgins trying to sound hot and failing epicly lmao id just do it and if chick doesn't like, she can get out of bed and walk all the way home cos I ain't calling uber or driving her lmao

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    • Creepy virgin? Really.

    • Yea really lol I see lot of em on Craigslist when I'm tryn to Troll lmao "I wanna dominate a girl" they expect they'd get turn on on that shit and they can finally get laid lmao

    • oh I thought you were calling me a creepy virgin lml.

  • It's not degrading at all.

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  • Some women enjoy it and some don't. I dated a woman who was into that 'being dominated' shit and that's just not my bag. It ended pretty quick.

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  • 😂😂😂 hahaha
    It's fine if you think so :P

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  • bahahahah

    You've barely stopped shitting in a diaper or going shopping with mummy. Independent. LOL!

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  • It's not a one person is in control thing, it is a two person fun zone. If they don't like that there are other guys who do. Seriously tho, it is supposed to be fun for EVERYBODY involved, and it is fun, so make sure to enjoy living your life.

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  • then why don't you take control?

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    • NONONO I don't have sex I am just asking people who have had and do have sex if they think it is degrading to women

  • Well let him know how you feel

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  • Seriously? Are you seriously bitching about "being degraded" right now? Then tell them to stop and quit bitching about petty shit. Jesus Christ.

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    • well asshole, I don't think you understand the fucking question. I asked if anyone else felt like if you're being submissive in a bedroom.. Did it feel like you were being degraded.

  • We do it because girls always ask for it.

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    • yes, but I'm talking about when you've never asked about it before.

    • History. If a guy has dated 4 girls before you and they all want to be dominated he's going to assume you do to just out of habit.

    • well he shouldn't assume things.

What Girls Said 7

  • Being dominant or submissive in the bedroom is usually just a type of role play used only in sexual contexts. It in no way means that the dominant one has literal control over the sub.

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  • You're so young lol

    DOn't be doing ANYTHING you don't want to do especially if you don't trust the guy.

    Young guys tend to watch a lot of porn then try to act them out in real life... find someone who will respect you. You are right it is degrading and disgusting.

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  • Being degraded in a sexual situation can be a turn on to a lot people, myself included. Im extremely independent, but I want to be sexually dominated, its a real turn on, but there is nothing wrong with how you feel! Sex should make you feel comfortable, and if you're not comfortable with that then do the things that you are comfortable with

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  • Yeah you are, I like to be dominated.. Are you a feminist?

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  • I would be uncomfortable with it. I'd rather be the dominant one.

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  • No, in fact I really like when a guy take descision by himself and act manly, etc... It change me from all this new generation of guys who become more and more feminine.

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  • Nothing wrong with that. Personally, i'm submissive and like being dominated. Doesn't change the fact I am an independent woman and i'd only do that with someone that I trust and respect and who respects me. However, it's reasonable for you to do what you want and not do what you don't want so don't sweat it.

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    • yes but do you still feel degraded in the bedroom? I just take everything like that to heart.

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    • and by the way, to me this doesn't mean a guy can do just whatever he wants. There are things that I would find degrading because I have a boundary that I don't want to cross and if I were forced across that boundary then yes I would be humiliated and the vast majority of people have boundaries of one sort or another. Sounds to me like you have a boundary that you are comfortable with and you want a guy that respects that boundary. Really, I'm not that much different and I wouldn't be with a guy that doesn't respect those boundaries and that's how you should be too.

    • that is exactly how I feel I just want them to respect how I feel! Thank you so much.

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