Is courting and romance dead?

Okay, perhaps I shouldn't feel this way from just a few anecdotes about online dating, but I have a couple of girlfriends who have tried it and a lot of guys just expect the girl to come to them and put out. The girls say in their profile that they are looking for someone with boyfriend qualities, not just looking to hook up. The men respond, but they don't ask them to meet somewhere for coffee or a meal. On the first texting exchange they are like, "So what are you doing tonight? Can I come over and give you a massage?" or "Send me a picture of your body. I want to know how your body is.." and then "Can you come over tonight to my place (a two hour drive)?" These are paid dating sites too. They talk to the women like they're escorts or something. My boyfriend took me out for coffee and then dinner and courted me for a couple of months before we became a couple. Is this rare? Is old fashioned courtship and romance dead?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've tried the courting and romance thing with several girls through online dating and it wasn't worth it.

    A GaG user named, Breatheme19, wasted my time and energy and refused to meet me in-person.

    I found out she cheated on me the entire time I courted her.

    It was from October 2015 to December 2015.

    She gave me all her nudes and she begged me for pics of my dick and ejaculate.

    Before Breatheme19, I had sex with four swindlers pretending to be prostitutes in August 2015. I realized paying for sex wasn't for me since I got scammed every time. They were so stingy with the sex. When I compared it to everyone else's experiences I definitely got shortchanged. I got to fuck for only 2 minutes each time for $130 and I only got to ejaculate once. Anyone else who paid that much would get to fuck for at least an hour and ejaculate multiple times within that hour.

    I still want to have sex with girls, but I refuse to struggle more than other guys and get shortchanged by girls every time.

    After Breatheme19 dumped me, on January 2016, I got scammed by a girl from Thailand on okcupid. com and extorted by a girl through Skype from xxxblackbook. com.

    I kind of completely gave up on girls after that.

    It's dumb because I never fucked over any girls like that. I'm too introverted to meet girls through clubbing, parties, or other social events.

    I'm quite petrified of conversing with girls in general.

    People give advice on the web. People give advice on this site. But none of this advice works for me. I don't know what to do. I guess I'm going to die without experiencing true love and good sex at this rate.

    Based on my past experiences, I think it would be best if I gave up on girls completely.

    I don't think I can ever stop liking girls, but every time I tried interacting with them sexually, they just keep making my life worse than before.

    I'm jealous of all my friends, they are either married or have multiple girlfriends. I'm the only one left out. They met their girlfriends in high school. They met their soulmates before getting a job.

    Everyone is so far ahead of me now financially and sexually.

    I never got a job. I don't think I even want one. What's the point? I never had a girlfriend. I never met my soulmate. I don't think I even have soulmate.

    I hate obsessing over this, I kind of wish I was a drone without any thoughts or feelings sometimes.

    Where can I find nice girls who are receptive to my existence? I just want a break.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • romance and chivalry definitely aren't dead; there are great guys out there, even in online dating.

    i met my boyfriend online~ he messaged me first, and here's what he said (yes, i saved our entire chat log):

    "We have a few things in common, I love writing as well (sounds geeky but I used to write my own graphic novel a few years ago) I also love drawing & painting. I know exactly how you feel about call centres believe me. You seem really smart, witty and really cute, I'd really like a chance to chat with you :)"

    1) he wrote properly and didn't abuse the English language;

    2) he mentioned things we had in common~ this shows that he took the time to read my profile and was interested in me as a person;

    3) his tone came across as intelligent, charming, and witty, plus he was passionate about his hobbies: all traits i value in my partners.

    4) no dick pics or solicitations.

    we clicked from the start, and talked for a month before finally meeting in person. a two-hour coffee date quickly turned into an adventure all over town, and we've been inseparable ever since.

    that said, romantic gestures need not be dramatic or showy. to me, it's him cooking me supper, driving me to school after a 12-hour shift, or putting movies on a flash drive for me to watch when i couldn't get out of bed post-op... i'm not much for traditional "courting" but, as long as there are people like us in the world, romance will never die.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Problem is nowadays, you can get a girl without courting, just be hot and charming, and you're good.
    Then the girls that do want you to court them and be romantic, don't appreciate it and end up taking you for granted.
    It's very difficult to find a girl who appreciates your effort, and is romantic to you too... cause us guys like it when the girl does something romantic for us.
    Though the guy may be the one doing most of the job, the girl still has to get him.
    That's what many girls don't understand, that just because he's courting you, doesn't mean that he's already hooked.

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  • It's pretty simple. If you are the kind of girl who will respond to guys who aren't interesting in courting and romance, that is what you will get. There are plenty of those guys around and they usually aren't too choosy. If you want to be courted, then don't respond to guys who don't want to be bothered.

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  • It is not dead, but it is dying and Feminists are killing it.
    See:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiWdUG73a4g

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  • is overrated for NICE GUYS.
    i can say it - i used to be a nice guy for a couple of years : i fell in love and i became a pleaser. then guess what? romance was all in my eyes. but it never worked out.
    Now i am a Man, which means, i dont want to please her and i dont wanna be treated like a second choice. Romance is AN OPTION. Which means i try to understand with who im talking about, if she's a good girl or a slut. Courting a woman is good and fun, and right in my eyes... courting a slut is like put your penis in a blender and pretend to like it.

    My fear? is that courting is being mistaken with being arrogant assholes and being romantic a sign of weakness. And THIS IS becoming this way. Romanticism is something that need to be EARNED by women nowdays. Cos as a guy, i dont understand anymore what women wants - IE, i can be confidend and all but you need to be clear of what you want : SEX or Other stuff. And i will decide if or not to invest my time

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  • well most of the guys are like that but some are old faishioned too, like me and other guys. by the way i love old fashioned courtship and romance

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  • Other women have shown that girls are easy, so guys treat all women like that. If she doesn't respond, who cares as the next one will. It is sad and not how it used to be.

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  • It depends on the guy. A lot of people in the west especially seem more interested in casual sex.

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  • Nope courting is how I do things.

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  • Yes, it's dead. And women killed it.

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  • Gentlemen court and romance especially when they're interested in that special lady. Sounds like you got a good guy.

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  • No, not at all. Just find the right guy. Then he'll romance ya and court you proper!

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  • I keep saying the same thing over and over again. Women created this feminist culture and one of the results of that is that men will view women more as objects but you girls can't get that through your thick skulls. You screwed with nature and now nature is screwing with you girls. Enjoy your miserable lives girls.

    Women destroyed romance and love

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    • consequences of feminism really

What Girls Said 7

  • No. But with the way how this world is moving, their butchering it. And it's sad. Very very sad. They want to know how come he/she doesn't want to marry them. Or is looking at other men/women over them. Let alone stay married without getting into a divorce. Then get involved with somebody else while married or at the process of divorce. Maybe dumped them for another person. Otherwise they get jealous when somebody has a stable relationship without it being sexual. Or get married as virgins or at least stayed abstinent until marriage. Kids included, while the materialistic things come after it. People think we're moving forward, but were moving so backwards it's enough to make our ancestors ashamed for the ones who would be. I love old school courtship because they did it right, with a far less divorce rate and a better family structure. We no longer have quality mates anymore that is worth being married to, let alone date.

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  • Sadly, yes, old fashioned courtship and romance are becoming things of the past. A lot of people only go one dates with the end goal of getting laid. Their motivation is ego and genital so even if they are romantic, it's not genuine, it's a product of being motivated by ego/wanting to be viewed a certain way and not really just wanting to make someone feel special with pure intentions

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  • For the most part its dead, relationships in general are dead. Relationships or courting is basically "i like having sex with you and you don't completely annoy me". I mean if your a girl looking for courting you have to do a lot of wheat eating before you can get to those flowers.

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  • a lot of people in lebanon are traditional
    and even abroad
    honestly it s not even about traditions it s more about respect

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  • It's not dead 💓

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  • It's dead online for sure

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  • It seems so. I've yet to be asked on a traditional date. Most guys just seem to want to hook up.

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