Guy emailed me day after first date, I emailed him my number, and he called 4 days later asking me to go out?

He said in his voice mail he had a hectic week and asked me to go out the next evening. I'm was heart broken when he didn't call earlier and figured he wasn't into me. I've been manipulated in the past and don't care to have that happen again. I'm not sure how to handle this. Any advice or recommendations?

Updates:
Wow! I am truly inspired that strangers would take the time too answer this question for me with such honesty. I deeply appreciate that. I have taken everyone's advice to heart. I had decided to call him back but caught up with something.
He left another message and I called him back. I don't like to admit it or even knew to admit it but I guess I have some trust issues. He shared having busy week and not wanting to call if 9pm was too late.
I heard more than that though- he shared some other personal stuff was going on and maybe didn't feel like talking to someone he'd just met about it. And I certainly get that. So, we chatted...we got to know each other a little bit more...and we have
...plans to meet up for coffee middle of this week. I apologize for the cut offs, clearly I'm new to this, and the update kept cutting me off. So, in sum I'll be true to myself, try not to let past crap sneak in, and have fun getting to know this guy.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • all relationships are the same. girls treat me the same way. you are like me...I don't play games. I don't think people should not call so that someone else thinks they are not interested, when really they are and are just playing "hard to get". It's bullcrap and it's such a waste of time. If someone likes someone else they just call them because they like them and want to spend time with them.

    I have had good luck by telling girls this in the beginning of a relationship. so that they know what I want. RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT MIND GAMES. tell him this. lay down what you think. Say, "If you like me, call me more." If he actually likes you he will, if not, f*** him.

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    • THANK YOU!!!! I'm exactly the same way... I don't understand why people do that....

What Guys Said 8

  • What kind of work is he involved in? Maybe he just did have a hectic week... I don't think you should read too much into it at this point. Also, he may have been waiting a few days before calling you so that he didn't seem desperate.

    I think it's way to soon to be able to draw any conclusions about the guy. I know it's hard, especially if you've been burned before, but give him a chance. From what you've told us, the only thing this guy's guilty of is not calling you for a few days after you emailed him your number. That's hardly a reason to write him off. It's not fair to him if you judge him based on your previous experiences. I'd suggest that you go out with him. Take your time, enjoy getting to know each other, and give him the opportunity to earn your trust.

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  • Ive gone as long as 6 days without calling a girl I'm interested in, I'm not playing games I'm simply busy. when your on a date you want to focus on the person your with and if you having to worry about things its not fair on the other person..bare in mind it was only your first date... be patient with youself and take this slow, the fact he isn't rushing in is a good sign as it means you can get to know eash other and feel safe when you decide to move forward.. just remember the guy has a life of his own that doesn't stop just becouse he has your number..

    have fun and good luck

    -Chris

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  • Hi,

    In your situation you have to understand that you just started dating, so putting expectations on him already could be a relationship killer. It might make you seem too needy. There is nothing wrong with you calling him. You could've asked for his number and call him.

    Such expectations so early will drive you crazy because you might read too much into things that can be explained. Now if he said he's going to call and doesn't then that's a different story, but the best thing I can tell you to do is to relax, and make sure you don't blame him for things that have happened in your past relationships. One of the biggest complaints men have is that sometimes women give the current guy a hard time for something that the last guy did. It might be difficult to do, but if you like him it could be worth it.

    Hope this helps!

    Rudes

    My Blog: therudeawakening7.tumblr.com

    link

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  • There is another possibility. If the guy is shy he may be agonizing over calling you and what to say. Maybe he just does not want to screw it up on the first call.

    Then again if that was the case he could have said I would have called sooner but I was not sure what to say but that would be hard for most guys to say. It seems a bit early to tell. Maybe give it one or two more dates and see if a pattern forms. What's the hurry?

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  • That hardly seems like a reason to dump somebody. Since people have so many ridiculous rules about when to call/text/whatever, a lot of guys just stick to the three day rule. If he continues to act manipulative, then get rid of him, but don't drop him because of something as small as this.

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  • If he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't have called...

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  • There's no such thing as a 3-4 day rule...just because he calls earlier or later does not mean anything. Don't overanalyze as it will most likely make you think negative thoughts...and we don't want that do we?

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  • this situation is ambiguous. how you interpret it, consequently, says more about you then the situation

    the fact that you are freaken out about this says a lot about your trust issues. just chill out and get to know him better before passing judgments

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What Girls Said 5

  • It's early in the relationship. Give him a chance. Your history does shape who you are and how you react, but try not to drag it into your next relationships. Just be cautious. Don't falt the guy for something as small as this. Give him a chance.

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    • I'm really glad things are working out for you :) best of luck!

  • Sorry to hear about your past relationships. The one thing I've learned about past relationships is to learn from them but to keep them in the past. Just because you were burned in the past doesn't mean that you will be again. The guy could have very well had a hectic week. Focus on how he treats you and others instead of how long it took for him to call you back. Remember, in life...unexpected things happen. Also, while you are waiting by the phone for him, he is living life and you should be too. I say keep going out with him to see how he is but also keep your options open and don't wait by the phone. Go out with other people. Keep yourself busy with things you like to do.

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  • congrats. happy for you. some guys are shy or they just like the 3 or 4 day wait thing

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  • Great! Don't forget to date other people! You don't want to put all of your eggs in just one basket...all the best :)

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  • i'm hoping for the best for you guys ^_^

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