AM I TOO LENIENT WITH MY BF?

So I told my boyfriend that its ok if he wants to fuck other girls sometimes simply because I don't want him to feel too tied down to the relationship, its fine and stuff but when he comes and tells me about it I can't help but get a little upset, am I being super jealous or what?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You and your boyfriend have to take the time to establish the boundaries of the relationship, especially because being in an open relationship isn't exactly conventional. I wouldn't really call it being jealous because most jealous people aren't willing to let their partner sleep around.

    Honestly I don't think you are -really- ok with your boyfriend fucking other women, and you probably should disallow that in your relationship going forward. You have to do what is right for YOU, and obviously you don't feel comfortable with this.

    Question, is he allowing you to sleep around with other men?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • it depends~ consensual nonmonogamy (whether polyamorous or "open" relationships) can only work if both of you are into it, and you're obviously not into it.

    a lot of people who are consensually nonmonogamous have relationship rules~ for example, some are okay with their primary partner seeing other people, but they have an agreement not to talk about it afterward. but have you told him how you feel?

    he only keeps doing it because you keep allowing it. so you need to 1) end the relationship, or 2) tell him you're not okay with it and take it from there.

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What Guys Said 10

  • WTF... this is your heart telling you what is right while your brain tells you what you think are objective acceptable actions.

    His behavior us not acceptable and worse is your permitting it. Your heart is telling you the right thing which is why we have morality against his behavior to begin with.

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  • You have agreed for him to have sex but yet aren't happy with it. Then done allow it if he chooses to cheat? Then leave him can you check mine? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2063142-gotten-myself-into-a-confusing-situation

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  • Wait what really, you allowed that? Wow, um since you gave him the okay to have sex with other women then why are you complaining about him telling you.
    Neither of you are taking the relationship seriously. A relationship is about commitment, if he feels tied down then he's not the right man for you and visa versa. You asking this is baffling.
    What are you looking to get out of this relationship?

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    • We're kinda engaged and he said if I say no he's fine with it, I just have a hard time saying no to anything to do with him

    • Did he propose to you and put a ring on your finger? Also by the way I was reminded that a person who messes around like that is likely carrying an STD. Care now okay.

  • 😐😐😐
    Like what the serious fuck 😂
    I guess you don't have feelings for him
    And he doesn't feel for you either
    Casual relationship huh?

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    • We're actually kinda engaged. And we both love one another, I just don't want him feeling caged up o something.

    • Ok but the truth is he don't feel the same for you
      And if you think he loves you then ask him if you can also sleep with another guy

  • Yes I think you are being too lenient - I wouldn't put up with that for a second

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  • Open relationships are stupid. People are gonna get hurt.

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  • Just break up with him

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  • Yes holy shit

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  • Yeah. You're jealous. It's up to him what he does with his body. You don't own him.

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  • If you want to be tied down to the relationship, find someone else who wants to be tied down to the relationship. Lots of people do, lots don't.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Well personally I would never let someone who I call a boyfriend to fuck other girls, after all I like to be in a monogamous relationship.. so if you two have it both ways and you can do whatever you want then no however if you know deep down you want him to be with you and only you I would tell him that. Letting him fuck other girls isn't being lenient its just not tolerate if you two decided to be in a monogamous relationship.

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  • I feel like you're not actually okay with it.. I'm honestly surprised that you said it was okay in the first place. If you really do want to continue that way, then tell him you're okay with it, but you don't really want to hear about it. Though if I were you, I would just say that you actually want to be exclusive.

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  • If you are getting jealous then this isn't the type of relationship for you. Are you seeing other people? How would he feel about that?

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    • No I don't see anyone else

    • Just spotted that you're under 18 too. Girl, you need to sort yourself out. You're just inviting an STD and a one sided relationship where you get left feeling hurt and jealous and he gets left wondering what he did wrong because you told him to fuck other women.

  • This clearly isn't an arrangement you are actually comfortable with so you need to speak up and tell him that. Why are you allowing that anyways?

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  • Jealous No Stupid YES.

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    • So im being too possessive then?

    • Quite the opposite.
      I take it that he is OK with you getting banged whenever you wish.
      I have never heard of a more stupid arrangement.

  • Duh lmao whatever happened to monogamous relationships nowadays
    If he's unhappy with just having sex with you, he shouldn't be with you.
    As in you having sex with him should be enough.

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