We all have preferences when it comes to dating and relationships. I dont really have as many deal-breakers but i would like to hear some of yours maybe i just haven't figured them all out. 1 of them is she has to be feminine, i dont think any guy would want to date a woman who doesn't act as a woman right? What are your relationship deal-breakers?
One I have similar to yours is if a guy is too feminine, like more than I am since as a heterosexual girl I like to be dating a guy and not a guy who acts like a girl, but I dunno, if everything else was fine I may overlook it (unless it made me too uncomfortable). My main ones are:
Disloyalty (Top of the list! I truly hate this one) Dishonesty Uncaring Doesn't put much effort into the relationship Not willing to fix any problems in the relationship/change certain things for me Selfish Disrespectful Aggressive Never learns from his mistakes Flirts with everyone Doesn't contact me for days without a good reason for it (I have had some of my friends tell me of their boyfriend not getting back to them for days but use poor excuses such as "Xbox" and recently one of my friends bfs didn't get back to her for a week - his excuse was that his phone needed charging and resetting so I told her that wouldn't take a week to do. I wouldn't put up with that) Stuck on his ex Likes someone more than he likes me Won't hold my hand in public or tell other girls he is taken (though this falls under disloyalty) Terrible at conversation Doesn't make enough effort for me Doesn't seem that into me Or alternatively - Overly sappy in a way that just comes across cringey and/or insincere
I could go on.
You know funnily enough, not all of this but at least half of it describes my ex...
SMOKING, constant negative attitude and a girl that tries to change everything about you. If you're not interested in who the person actually just date someone else that is more your type instead of putting pressure on other people to be more like what you think they should be like. I had an ex that wanted me to end my flourishing career in the fashion industry and get a job in the cafeteria at the company her parents worked at as a cook so I could be "more normal" and live a "regular life"... The salary was less than a third of what I was making at the time but she felt my dreams were "too grand" compared to hers and she just wanted me to give her a baby and be a complacent boring husband... Sorry for all the quotation marks... I'm quoting her exact words... I left her over 2 years ago and thinking about it still frustrates me lol
I cannot with guys that: -are cheesey romantics, like gtfo with that movie shit -don't communicate well -hang out with other girls -have a temper -smoke/drink all the time -don't respect my virginity -are indecisive with things (stresses me out)
- Cuddles with female friends while in a relationship with me. No hand-holding, no piggy back rides, no picking up and twirling around. Look, I'm okay with a hug, and I'm not a jealous person, but I feel some things are reserved for relationships.
- His friends are his first priority and not me. I shouldn't feel like I have to compete for his attention nor should I feel lesser than his friends.
- Talks about his ex too much or openly compares me to her (even if he says he isn't)
- Manipulative: Makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. Makes me doubt myself. Turns things to look like I'm the bad guy and somehow manages to get me to do everything HE wants to do and nothing of what I want to.
- Won't change anything for me/Unwilling to compromise and even goes as far as saying he REFUSES to compromise/change
- Isn't a cuddly person and doesn't want to cuddle with me (and ONLY me)
- Doesn't put the effort in to be with me or hang out with me meaning I always have to do the asking
- Makes excuses for why he can't hang out with me (bullshit excuses)
- Doesn't want me to get to know his friends or doesn't really make an effort for us to get to know each other or doesn't make an effort to get to know my friends
- Hangs out/talks to his friends more than he does me
- Allows his friends to disrespect me and telling his friends that I was uncomfortable with a friend of his touching him a certain way so that he could shift the blame onto me and basically have his friends dislike me, but still love him
- Is too flirty with people: Especially when he is the physically flirty type (touchy w/people). Verbal flirting is annoying as well, but physical flirting is way worse for me
- Abuses me mentally/physically
- Deliberately goes and talks to people that he knows have hurt me or been mean and bullied me in the past because he "feels bad" for them
- Does not like PDA /isn't affectionate
- Treats any of my family like crap or with ANY kind of disrespect
- Won't communicate with me when something is bothering him
- Always wants to go dutch
- Hangs out with female friends alone
Yeah, I got a lot of deal-breakers. I used to be a lot more lax, but I've been dealing with so many douchebags that I had to hike up my standards.
I need a Christian, I also have to feel comfortable with him, I would like to have a guy who is taller than me and has good morals. I need someone who understands me and values my feelings and opinions. I seriously need someone who is not reckless with money. I need the whole hug and cuddle shit too. And I don't mind a thoughtful gift giver. I am all of this and I expect him to be too.
If he wants or already has kids (I don't ever want them). Would be ok with older kids though.
No sense of humor.
Can't stand someone who can't think for themselves, if they follow anyone/anything blindly then I just can't be attracted to that.
I don't want someone with who is super active on social media. I can't stand people who need constant attention, who think the entire world revolves around them and what they had for breakfast, who can't get off of Facebook long enough to enjoy the world around them and has to post photos and comments about every freakin thing they do.
Who doesn't like pets, I love animals and i'm always going to have them, so he would be miserable with me lol
Traditionalist would be a deal breaker for me, just not my kind of lifestyle and never will be.
He expects us to morph into the same person just because we're dating. So many people think we have to unconditionally support the person we love, whether they're right or wrong. I want someone who can tell me that i'm wrong or that they don't agree with me and here's why.
Who isn't down to earth, can't stand uppity people.
The obvious ones would be is a cheater, abusive, does drugs or has other addictions.
I don't care much about age (as long as it's not very extreme), employment, education (as long as he doesn't act stupid and trashy) or appearances, I just like normal everyday looking dudes lol
- intimate relationship (girlfriend/ wife) - abusive - use of illegal and abuse of OTC and prescription drugs - Unemployed (come on you have to be able to support yourself... I can understand if you're studying but don't expect me to pay your bills) - obesity... ( my arms should be able to go around you when I ask for a hug... And you need be healthy) - how you treat animals... (That tells how you will treat me) - dishonesty - disloyalty - controlling... (Telling me who I should talk to. What to wear. Where to go or not go. Wanyin
Definitely cheating, I can deal with many things in a relationship and I am quite open minded and understanding, but I cannot abide cheats and liars. Other then that I am one of those "we can work through it" kind of people.
Sex - we need to be at least slightly compatible Lying/cheating - Im okay with a lot, as long as it's honest and concensual. Intelligence - I get turned off when a guy is extrenely stupid. Discrimination - if a guy is a homophobe or extremely racist or sexist, that's a deal breaker to me. Religion - if he has a religion it's fine, but Im an atheist and he should be willing to let me stay that way.
I've never really thought about it, but the main thing for me is that he is respectful. I've been with disrespectful douchebags before when I had low self esteem and felt like I deserved that, but now that I know I deserve respect, I refuse to settle for someone who refuses to give it to me.
Any personality flaw such as selfish, liar, cheated, arrogant doesn't pay for the first date, has bad table manners, bad hygiene, smokes pot on a daily basis or does drugs a lot, has a lot of female friends, obese, too much of an introvert, has little to no ambition, keeps our relationship a secret, has no balls
Well, you and I are not going to work lol. I feel much comfortable wearing a part of shorts and shirt with no makeup tho every now and then I would wear a dress and sometimes makeup but not often these days..
I hate it when guys smoke or people smoking in general. It's unhealthy and it smells really bad. If I see someone smoking and they are near by, I have to hold my nose to keep the smell out.
When guys hate the fact that I live with my parents. Look, I am only 22. Sure, you might be out living on your own already but I am still figuring out life. I hate it when guys have a problem with me still living with my parents though I am working hard to find a more full time job and save money.
Kids. I sure do want a kid someday though I would mostly be adopting since I can't really carry own of my own (medical issues) but I am not ready to date a guy who already has a kid.
Well, that's all of deal breakers. I think? It changes sometimes
Guy is too feminine, drinks or smokes, cheats, dishonest, unhygienic, doesn't support my career ambitions, controlling, fat, doesn't work out, lazy, mean to me, curses a lot, isn't religious to name a few.
1. smokers 2. loud, boisterous females 3. low IQ women 4. women with small children still at home 5. drama queens 6. women larger than 36D 7. women who constantly criticize others 8, women with tattoos or piercings 9. women who drink excessively or use drugs 10. women who believe that they are always right
Well I have decided to remain single till death. I don't really need a woman in my life to me happy, I don't need a relationship to survive. I don't need love to survive.
However yes, I do have an image of whom I call as the " Woman of my dreams". My standards are really high, I have physical and personality standards and both of them equally high. Yes, there are plenty of deal breakers
It's hard to explain. I can't put them here. However if you are interested/curious to know then I can message and tell you the same.
Simple deal-breakers: - Uses too much makeup, and/or has terrible style (like drawn eyebrows and extra-long tacky nails and stupid-high heels and leather mini-skirts... ugh to all) - TOO extroverted (goes out to party and drink herself to oblivion all the damn time) - Believes that "men should act like men, women should act like women" - "Resolves" conflict by yelling and name-calling and physical violence - Creates unnecessary conflict by getting hurt over every second sentence for no reason - Likes 50 Shades of Grey
Democrat and social liberalism are deal breakers. As is atheism since I've yet to meet a right-winged atheist. Otherwise I'm pretty open. I suppose respect for my family is a deal breaker. She has to be close and love them the way I do otherwise it will not work.
I have a list, which includes, but is not limited to: 1. Not the same race as myself. 2. Has been with a man of another race. 3. Tattoos, or piercings. 4. Unintelligent. 5. A political leftard. 6. A Feminist. 7. Does not like firearms. 8. Would hesitate to kill an intruder, or attacker. 9. Genetic defects, which include diseases. 10. Is not the sort of genetic material that I would want to make up 50 per cent of my children.
Cruelty through her actions or inaction Refusal to contemplate her blessings and the suffering of others Disinterest in the natural world around her Chronic unemployment Lack of drive to contribute to civilization
by the way, these things disqualify a person from being my friend.
I actually hate it when girls trash their parents, even if they are bad parents... Also feminine at least a little bit or on occasion is nice, and too low of self esteem can be a problem. The last part goes with the first thing but too much gossip is a big turn off like who knows what she is saying when I am not around... Venting a problem is fine but sometimes it goes too far
- Too fat or too skinny. - Ugly face. - Bitchy attitude. - Smokes. - Obsessive, clingy. - Gets jealous easily. - Unintelligance. - Overly sensitive. - Lack of elegance. - No sense of humour. - Wants pets. - Religious. - Different political beliefs. - Doesn't want kids or marriage. - Bi-curiosity. - Transgender/transsexual. - Tattoos and facial piercings. - Gold digging. - Does not respect my career ambitions.
1. Cancels plans often or is late often, hate this shit 2. isn't interested in sex 3. In a serious scenario won't talk about moving in together in a year 5. unfaithful 6. Uses crack, heroin, or meth 7. Has lots of guy friends they hang out with 1 on 1 all the time, fuck no
mean. not loyal. too many tattoos and or piercings are a big turn off. also won't wait until marriage. never wants kids. can't have kids, I am not sure about that one. not supportive. grouchy all the time, I can live with them being grouchy half the time even. being very unintelligent. not adventurous at all. hates traveling wants to live next door to parents. won't let me pay for the first dates :/
Smoking of any sort Illegal drugs Being clingy - I need some space at times Irrational jealousy - I have female friends. I will hug them. Deal with it. Violation of privacy - My phone and my passwords are off limits. Deal with it. Lying Laziness Religious Mind games - "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you", Silent treatment etc Cheating - Instant dismissal Cat lover - We're not getting one, end of story.