What are your relationship deal-breakers?

We all have preferences when it comes to dating and relationships. I dont really have as many deal-breakers but i would like to hear some of yours maybe i just haven't figured them all out. 1 of them is she has to be feminine, i dont think any guy would want to date a woman who doesn't act as a woman right? What are your relationship deal-breakers?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • One I have similar to yours is if a guy is too feminine, like more than I am since as a heterosexual girl I like to be dating a guy and not a guy who acts like a girl, but I dunno, if everything else was fine I may overlook it (unless it made me too uncomfortable). My main ones are:

    Disloyalty (Top of the list! I truly hate this one)
    Dishonesty
    Uncaring
    Doesn't put much effort into the relationship
    Not willing to fix any problems in the relationship/change certain things for me
    Selfish
    Disrespectful
    Aggressive
    Never learns from his mistakes
    Flirts with everyone
    Doesn't contact me for days without a good reason for it (I have had some of my friends tell me of their boyfriend not getting back to them for days but use poor excuses such as "Xbox" and recently one of my friends bfs didn't get back to her for a week - his excuse was that his phone needed charging and resetting so I told her that wouldn't take a week to do. I wouldn't put up with that)
    Stuck on his ex
    Likes someone more than he likes me
    Won't hold my hand in public or tell other girls he is taken (though this falls under disloyalty)
    Terrible at conversation
    Doesn't make enough effort for me
    Doesn't seem that into me
    Or alternatively - Overly sappy in a way that just comes across cringey and/or insincere

    I could go on.

    You know funnily enough, not all of this but at least half of it describes my ex...

    lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • SMOKING, constant negative attitude and a girl that tries to change everything about you. If you're not interested in who the person actually just date someone else that is more your type instead of putting pressure on other people to be more like what you think they should be like. I had an ex that wanted me to end my flourishing career in the fashion industry and get a job in the cafeteria at the company her parents worked at as a cook so I could be "more normal" and live a "regular life"... The salary was less than a third of what I was making at the time but she felt my dreams were "too grand" compared to hers and she just wanted me to give her a baby and be a complacent boring husband... Sorry for all the quotation marks... I'm quoting her exact words... I left her over 2 years ago and thinking about it still frustrates me lol

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What Girls Said 44

  • I cannot with guys that:
    -are cheesey romantics, like gtfo with that movie shit
    -don't communicate well
    -hang out with other girls
    -have a temper
    -smoke/drink all the time
    -don't respect my virginity
    -are indecisive with things (stresses me out)

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    • 3mo

      When you say " hang out with other girls", does that mean he can't have female friends? Lets say he is a guy who has more female friends than male friends. Are you not gonna let him hang out with his friends which will be mostly women?

    • 3mo

      No I'm saying like ex girlfriends and girls that seem like the ones to eventually cheat on me with

    • 3mo

      Oh ok that make sense.

  • If they're married or have a girlfriend. You think I'm kidding. I'm not 😑

    Liars, immature, arrogant, dumb, boring or introverted.

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  • - Is a crossdresser

    - Cuddles with female friends while in a relationship with me. No hand-holding, no piggy back rides, no picking up and twirling around. Look, I'm okay with a hug, and I'm not a jealous person, but I feel some things are reserved for relationships.

    - His friends are his first priority and not me. I shouldn't feel like I have to compete for his attention nor should I feel lesser than his friends.

    - Talks about his ex too much or openly compares me to her (even if he says he isn't)

    - Manipulative: Makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. Makes me doubt myself. Turns things to look like I'm the bad guy and somehow manages to get me to do everything HE wants to do and nothing of what I want to.

    - Won't change anything for me/Unwilling to compromise and even goes as far as saying he REFUSES to compromise/change

    - Isn't a cuddly person and doesn't want to cuddle with me (and ONLY me)

    - Doesn't put the effort in to be with me or hang out with me meaning I always have to do the asking

    - Makes excuses for why he can't hang out with me (bullshit excuses)

    - Doesn't want me to get to know his friends or doesn't really make an effort for us to get to know each other or doesn't make an effort to get to know my friends

    - Hangs out/talks to his friends more than he does me

    - Allows his friends to disrespect me and telling his friends that I was uncomfortable with a friend of his touching him a certain way so that he could shift the blame onto me and basically have his friends dislike me, but still love him

    - Is too flirty with people: Especially when he is the physically flirty type (touchy w/people). Verbal flirting is annoying as well, but physical flirting is way worse for me

    - Abuses me mentally/physically

    - Deliberately goes and talks to people that he knows have hurt me or been mean and bullied me in the past because he "feels bad" for them

    - Does not like PDA /isn't affectionate

    - Treats any of my family like crap or with ANY kind of disrespect

    - Won't communicate with me when something is bothering him

    - Always wants to go dutch

    - Hangs out with female friends alone

    Yeah, I got a lot of deal-breakers. I used to be a lot more lax, but I've been dealing with so many douchebags that I had to hike up my standards.

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    • Your are selfish and controlling. Any guy in a relationship with you would be a victim of domestic abuse.

    • Wow, I hear you on a lot

  • I need a Christian, I also have to feel comfortable with him, I would like to have a guy who is taller than me and has good morals. I need someone who understands me and values my feelings and opinions. I seriously need someone who is not reckless with money. I need the whole hug and cuddle shit too. And I don't mind a thoughtful gift giver. I am all of this and I expect him to be too.

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  • The 3 "A's"--abuse, addictions, affairs

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  • Sex - we need to be at least slightly compatible
    Lying/cheating - Im okay with a lot, as long as it's honest and concensual.
    Intelligence - I get turned off when a guy is extrenely stupid.
    Discrimination - if a guy is a homophobe or extremely racist or sexist, that's a deal breaker to me.
    Religion - if he has a religion it's fine, but Im an atheist and he should be willing to let me stay that way.

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  • If he wants or already has kids (I don't ever want them). Would be ok with older kids though.

    No sense of humor.

    Can't stand someone who can't think for themselves, if they follow anyone/anything blindly then I just can't be attracted to that.

    I don't want someone with who is super active on social media. I can't stand people who need constant attention, who think the entire world revolves around them and what they had for breakfast, who can't get off of Facebook long enough to enjoy the world around them and has to post photos and comments about every freakin thing they do.

    Who doesn't like pets, I love animals and i'm always going to have them, so he would be miserable with me lol

    Traditionalist would be a deal breaker for me, just not my kind of lifestyle and never will be.

    He expects us to morph into the same person just because we're dating. So many people think we have to unconditionally support the person we love, whether they're right or wrong. I want someone who can tell me that i'm wrong or that they don't agree with me and here's why.

    Who isn't down to earth, can't stand uppity people.

    The obvious ones would be is a cheater, abusive, does drugs or has other addictions.

    I don't care much about age (as long as it's not very extreme), employment, education (as long as he doesn't act stupid and trashy) or appearances, I just like normal everyday looking dudes lol

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  • This is going to Be a long list...

    - intimate relationship (girlfriend/ wife)
    - abusive
    - use of illegal and abuse of OTC and prescription drugs
    - Unemployed (come on you have to be able to support yourself... I can understand if you're studying but don't expect me to pay your bills)
    - obesity... ( my arms should be able to go around you when I ask for a hug... And you need be healthy)
    - how you treat animals... (That tells how you will treat me)
    - dishonesty
    - disloyalty
    - controlling... (Telling me who I should talk to. What to wear. Where to go or not go. Wanyin

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    • Wanting to know where I am and what I am doing every second of the day)
      -disrespectful

      There are more... But like I said this is a very long list...

    • - dress and unhygienic... ( I don't want to smell your perspiration and keep yourself neat and tidy... Shave smd cut your hair... Actually look like a person)

  • I've never really thought about it, but the main thing for me is that he is respectful. I've been with disrespectful douchebags before when I had low self esteem and felt like I deserved that, but now that I know I deserve respect, I refuse to settle for someone who refuses to give it to me.

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  • Dishonest
    Anger issues
    Controlling
    Ugly
    Short
    Fat or skinny
    Unhygienic
    Lazy

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  • Definitely cheating, I can deal with many things in a relationship and I am quite open minded and understanding, but I cannot abide cheats and liars. Other then that I am one of those "we can work through it" kind of people.

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  • Constant nagging, dislike that
    Or if is someone who puts people on the spot

    Simply put, isn't considerate of others' feelings.

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  • She has to act like a woman? Okayyy

    Cheating on me
    Becoming abusive
    A complete change in personality from the person I fell in love with
    Just a few that some to mind

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    • Yea, i dont wanna date a girl who's a tomboy and is more masculine than i am lol.
      Those are great ones. I agree wit you!

  • Narcissism, lying, abusive or bullying, doesn't like animals, possessiveness.

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  • Any personality flaw such as selfish, liar, cheated, arrogant
    doesn't pay for the first date, has bad table manners, bad hygiene, smokes pot on a daily basis or does drugs a lot, has a lot of female friends, obese, too much of an introvert, has little to no ambition, keeps our relationship a secret, has no balls

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    • Having too many female friends is a deal breaker? Its scary yeah but he could still be a good guy haha

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    • 3mo

      Why not? Why wouldn't you date a guy that has a lot of female friends? Ok so if its not ok for him to have lots of female friends then it shouldn't be ok for you to have a lot of guy friends right?

    • 3mo

      Which i don't.

  • Umm... I don't like narcissists and control freaks.

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  • Well, you and I are not going to work lol. I feel much comfortable wearing a part of shorts and shirt with no makeup tho every now and then I would wear a dress and sometimes makeup but not often these days..

    I hate it when guys smoke or people smoking in general. It's unhealthy and it smells really bad. If I see someone smoking and they are near by, I have to hold my nose to keep the smell out.

    When guys hate the fact that I live with my parents. Look, I am only 22. Sure, you might be out living on your own already but I am still figuring out life. I hate it when guys have a problem with me still living with my parents though I am working hard to find a more full time job and save money.

    Kids. I sure do want a kid someday though I would mostly be adopting since I can't really carry own of my own (medical issues) but I am not ready to date a guy who already has a kid.

    Well, that's all of deal breakers. I think? It changes sometimes

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    • 3mo

      Being feminine doesn't mean you have to wear make up every day or a dress of course it is a part of being feminine but its mostly the way you act and the way you talk.

  • I don't want someone who doesn't know what they want in the future
    Who is too dependent on others
    Who isn't family oriented
    Who doesn't get along with my family
    Who is too aggressive
    Who is possessive

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  • Guy is too feminine, drinks or smokes, cheats, dishonest, unhygienic, doesn't support my career ambitions, controlling, fat, doesn't work out, lazy, mean to me, curses a lot, isn't religious to name a few.

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  • Non-medicinal drug use, cheating, abusive.

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  • Serial dater right here.

    Anger + jealousy + possessiveness are my only deal breakers.

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  • Smoking, drugs, disrespect, impolite and jut plain rudeness

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  • He cannot be a control freak, untrustworthy or have anger issues

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  • He is rude and has no manners.

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  • I have too many to list lmao.

    Top ones are unfaithful, middle class or higher, no manners, and hate animals.

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    • Ok, I hate silver-spooners as much as you do, but... not even middle class? •___•

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    • Lol I gotcha. Guess I'm still in the running😉 lmao😂

  • Main deal breakers for me: misogynist, obesity, boring, bigot, cheaters, and abusive.

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  • Drugs and alcohol, as well as if they don't want kids/don't like them

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  • My number one deal breaker is him having a cat.

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  • Closed mindedness, arrogance, lack of education

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  • 1) Too religious
    2) Vegan
    3) Liar
    4) Cheater
    6) Having no ambition
    7) Shorter than me (I'm 5'9)
    8) No education
    9) Unattractive
    10) Introvert

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What Guys Said 40

  • i will not date

    1. smokers
    2. loud, boisterous females
    3. low IQ women
    4. women with small children still at home
    5. drama queens
    6. women larger than 36D
    7. women who constantly criticize others
    8, women with tattoos or piercings
    9. women who drink excessively or use drugs
    10. women who believe that they are always right

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    • #5,#10 Sound familiar

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    • @bobbyxx They say they want men to be honest. . . :)

    • Yes and lots of hypocrisy as well. Looking at the pink deal breakers the guy they are looking for does not exist or would be a victim of domestic abuse if they entered into a relationship with them.

  • Relationship deal breakers?

    Well I have decided to remain single till death. I don't really need a woman in my life to me happy, I don't need a relationship to survive. I don't need love to survive.

    However yes, I do have an image of whom I call as the " Woman of my dreams". My standards are really high, I have physical and personality standards and both of them equally high. Yes, there are plenty of deal breakers

    It's hard to explain. I can't put them here. However if you are interested/curious to know then I can message and tell you the same.

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  • Dog haters
    Smokers
    Uses drugs
    Uses alcohol excessively
    Doesn't workout
    Dishonest
    Anger issues
    Compulsive liar
    Doesn't want kids

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    • I second this^^ haha

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    • ... uses alcohol excessively...

      I guess I'm out. 😂

    • @PlzJustDie bahahahahah how could I say no to you?😘

      Nahh I mean like someone who has to be at the bars Thursday to Sunday. Or needs to drink to have fun.

  • Simple deal-breakers:
    - Uses too much makeup, and/or has terrible style (like drawn eyebrows and extra-long tacky nails and stupid-high heels and leather mini-skirts... ugh to all)
    - TOO extroverted (goes out to party and drink herself to oblivion all the damn time)
    - Believes that "men should act like men, women should act like women"
    - "Resolves" conflict by yelling and name-calling and physical violence
    - Creates unnecessary conflict by getting hurt over every second sentence for no reason
    - Likes 50 Shades of Grey

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  • Democrat and social liberalism are deal breakers. As is atheism since I've yet to meet a right-winged atheist. Otherwise I'm pretty open. I suppose respect for my family is a deal breaker. She has to be close and love them the way I do otherwise it will not work.

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  • Overweight, smokes cigs, really tall (I'm short), low IQ, no career ambition, extremely messy or disorganized.

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  • 1) Smokes - don't want to be around.
    2) Has slept around - don't want to touch her.
    3) Dresses slutty - don't want to be seen around her.
    4) Is vain or has a princess mentality.

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  • Relationshits are a deal-breaker.

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  • I have a list, which includes, but is not limited to:
    1. Not the same race as myself.
    2. Has been with a man of another race.
    3. Tattoos, or piercings.
    4. Unintelligent.
    5. A political leftard.
    6. A Feminist.
    7. Does not like firearms.
    8. Would hesitate to kill an intruder, or attacker.
    9. Genetic defects, which include diseases.
    10. Is not the sort of genetic material that I would want to make up 50 per cent of my children.

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  • Cruelty through her actions or inaction
    Refusal to contemplate her blessings and the suffering of others
    Disinterest in the natural world around her
    Chronic unemployment
    Lack of drive to contribute to civilization

    by the way, these things disqualify a person from being my friend.

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  • I actually hate it when girls trash their parents, even if they are bad parents...
    Also feminine at least a little bit or on occasion is nice, and too low of self esteem can be a problem.
    The last part goes with the first thing but too much gossip is a big turn off like who knows what she is saying when I am not around... Venting a problem is fine but sometimes it goes too far

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  • - Too fat or too skinny.
    - Ugly face.
    - Bitchy attitude.
    - Smokes.
    - Obsessive, clingy.
    - Gets jealous easily.
    - Unintelligance.
    - Overly sensitive.
    - Lack of elegance.
    - No sense of humour.
    - Wants pets.
    - Religious.
    - Different political beliefs.
    - Doesn't want kids or marriage.
    - Bi-curiosity.
    - Transgender/transsexual.
    - Tattoos and facial piercings.
    - Gold digging.
    - Does not respect my career ambitions.

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  • 1. Cancels plans often or is late often, hate this shit
    2. isn't interested in sex
    3. In a serious scenario won't talk about moving in together in a year
    5. unfaithful
    6. Uses crack, heroin, or meth
    7. Has lots of guy friends they hang out with 1 on 1 all the time, fuck no

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  • 1. she has or wants a kid
    2. she is unable to take care of herself / cripple
    3. she has hiv/aids
    4. she is a man and doesn't look feminine at all.
    5. >implying I can get a relationship anyway

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  • Hairiness or getting a pixie hair cut. I would dump any chick if she got a pixie cut or had a 70's style bush.

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  • mean. not loyal. too many tattoos and or piercings are a big turn off. also won't wait until marriage. never wants kids. can't have kids, I am not sure about that one. not supportive. grouchy all the time, I can live with them being grouchy half the time even. being very unintelligent. not adventurous at all. hates traveling wants to live next door to parents. won't let me pay for the first dates :/

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  • Religious, has kids, doesn't earn a living, unable to hold an intelligent conversation, got a fucked up grill or looks quite unhealthy.

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  • Smoking of any sort
    Illegal drugs
    Being clingy - I need some space at times
    Irrational jealousy - I have female friends. I will hug them. Deal with it.
    Violation of privacy - My phone and my passwords are off limits. Deal with it.
    Lying
    Laziness
    Religious
    Mind games - "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you", Silent treatment etc
    Cheating - Instant dismissal
    Cat lover - We're not getting one, end of story.

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  • if she does not want sex
    lying to me
    control freak
    cheating
    addictions/drug use
    when she is part of particular political groups

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  • Halitosis.

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  • Farting
    Burping
    Smoking
    Being a sloot
    Not sucking dick
    Expecting oral
    Flat ass
    Ugly
    Too tall
    Speaking or looking at other men

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  • Fat or too skinny
    Dishonest - Like "im just chatting with this guy you know. you're jelous"
    Anger issues
    Bad communication
    Controlling behaviour
    Unhygienic
    Lazy
    APATHETIC

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  • if she acts like some princess spoiled and c***
    moreover disrespect non loyalty and controling women are the worst

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  • Mustnt have kids
    Mustnt smoke or do drugs
    Must be open. mimded in the bedroom
    Be accepting of geeks or be ome hersrlf
    Not a bitch or pompous

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  • Cannibalism. I don't like being nervous when someone's biting my neck.

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  • Non smoker. Smokers are a massive turn off. Its a gross disgusting habit.

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  • no respect for elders and too much about selling out for money.

    just shit character and cheating past

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  • Drugs and kids. I don't tolerate either. Also ex's.

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  • drugs and smoking.

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  • My deal breakers are if she refuses oral or anal sex.

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