Would you consider this wasting my time?

I used to want a relationship but learned early on it's not going to happen for me. While my friends and peers were navigating many relationships I couldn't figure out why I was having a hard time. People described me as nice, sweet, caring, etc, overall a great person to be with. Why didn't anyone want me? It used to haunt me. Then one day, the guy I liked admitted he was only talking to me because he thought my friend wouldn't be interested. I stopped giving a shit. I turned 20, still didn't have luck in the guy department and I was tired of being the 3rd wheel. I threw all that sad waiting shit out the window.

I was waiting to have sex; I lost it to a guy I casually messed around with the second day I met him and I never looked back. Since then I've been with six more guys, ranging from 25 to 30 and I just fool around with others. I don't ever date because I'm not waiting around on anyone to ask me out anymore, but just fooling around until we get tired of each other. I've stepped up my fashion game. My confidence is skyrocketing. I don't care what anyone thinks. My mom instilled in me I don't need any man and shouldn't be worried about them. I've becone so independent and I don't let anyone do anything for me.

Guys I used to be attracted to now want to get to know me and I love rejecting them. I've gotten to the point where I don't care about relationships or dating. I don't plan on looking for a relationship. If I ever feel I want someone again, I'll wait until I'm in my late 20s, when I'm done with school and I hopefully am supporting myself completely and I don't need anyone.

My family and friends are growing concerned. They think I'm shutting out people and opportunities and I'm wasting my time. Honestly this is the happiest I've ever been, not waiting on some guy to finally want to get to know me. I just wanted to hear some other thoughts. Let me know if something wasn't clear and I'll post an update with more details.


0|0
2|12

Most Helpful Guy

  • What is good about your post is where you mentioned that " you don't care" so that you I don't care attitude, and honestly that's a good attitude to have, it's good that you are confident within yourself and independent as well, these are very good qualities to have.

    It's good that you don't really need a man, or someone in your life to make you happy. In that case, you can just live your life, concentrate on making a good career.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ure AWESOME. I don't have ANY luck in the relationship department neither. In the looks department I'd say I'm an 8 or 9 based off others responses to my looks and not including the insecure men and women that hate. I upped my fashion makeup hair and confidence, and I don't tolerate being used for sex not unless I can use them. Otherwise we don't have nothing to discuss. I use to feel disgusted when I was being used for sex and sometimes rejected (like they cared nothing about getting to know me). Now I feel good and strong since I've tooken out sex, and only fuck when I feel like with a guy I find interesting and not boring or guarded. I don't care for relationships or men period tbh 😂

    0|0
    0|0
    • Oh and ure not wasting your time, living your life to the fullest and free is not wasting your time.

    • Show All
    • @Browneye57 I honestly don't care about grammar unless I'm in school (I have a 3.7 gpa and in the honors club). I judge myself pretty harshly, I just said BASED ON THE REACTIONS FROM OTHERS. I never said that was my own rating. Beauty is diverse not all 9s look the same stop watching so much t. v.

    • @Browneye57 if u think I'm a 6 or 7 u are pretty blind. I get told I should model or if I'm a plus model a lot, by straight guys, gay guys, and girls That's no six or 7 dear 👉

What Guys Said 11

  • Here are two sides of the story I would like to give you.

    I wouldn't give up just because you had that "bad" moment. I think you should give it a second chance. As you grow older, you will start to have more solidified feelings of want and stability. At some point in your life, you will need to make a decision if you want to continue with this path of resistance. Your story was so relatable to my situation as well, I was able to make my own destiny after I realize this revelation.

    On the other hand, there are many women that I've known who are very happy and are living well with their single and exciting lives without being in a relationship. If you're happy than, there shouldn't be a problem. I think your happiness is the most important thing overall and I hope your family and friends are seeing that clearly. But I understand where their position is coming from. They're just worried for you, that's all. Just communicating to them about this would be important.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Consider not giving yourself away - it's fine to not want to settle down yet, but don't squander your youth. And you're right, if you ride the cock-carousel for ten years and THEN decide to find mr. right he won't want you cuz you fucked around all those years.
    Make yourself the best you can be. Be awesome, live your life, and you WILL meet someone worth sharing it with. Casual hookups is not going to satiate you.
    You're a prime candidate for a much older man. Try dating 10 to 20 years older, it might surprise you. Just make sure they're not married already. Or just recently divorced. You want to target guys that really have their shit together.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Why an older man?

    • Show All
    • Unfortunately your age is a range so I can't tell if you're 18 or 24. If you're in the earlier range you have some growing up to do. Please don't squander this time to grow, focus on making something awesome of yourself.
      If you're in the later of the range, closer to 24, likely you've got an education and have found some success, have become independent. Consider date some men in the 35 to 45 range. You may be surprised and delighted. You may even find one that really clicks. Or you may need to wait a few more years. For men, their peak SMV is closer to 40 - that's where their maturity and experience can make them deadly attractive to younger women.

    • I'm 21. I'm still in college, about two more years until I graduate. I have a general idea of what I want to do but I don't know exactly. I have attracted older men but it's intimidating. They seem to have their lives together and I'm still trying to get my foot in the door of adulthood. I also feel as if I'm not as mature as they are. I wouldn't want them to have to deal with a girl whose thought process is still developing. They could also take advantage of the fact that I don't know as much as they do and I would tell realize it until much later.

  • Yes I would consider it a waste of time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do whatever you want girl, it your life. Personally though, I think this might backfire on you. One day, Mr. right might come and if you reject him, you might not found another one, ever.

    Live your life fully and with no regret.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Lol I wouldn't know Mr. Right from every other guy that's tricked me. People are deceiving. I refuse to go through that drama just to find someone.

  • Women always waste a man's time. You can let him waste yours a little.

    0|0
    1|1
  • No, I don't. Not everyone is to get married, and shame on your family and friends for trying to make you think otherwise.

    0|0
    0|0
    • When did she say anything about marriage? She didn't. Relationships do not have to end up in marriage.

    • @funny_strange_man I never said that she did. I added it into the conversation.

  • holy shiiiit big wall of text not reading

    0|0
    1|2
    • Too much for you to comprehend. Is it becsuse it is not in texting short hand? For example a letter representing whole words or a number representin whole words.

  • You say you are so independent that you don't let anyone do anything for you. To me it seems like if a guy was to try and do something nice for you that you would try to stop him and be like I (you) can do it myself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am like that. I don't want anyone to think I can't do things for myself. And if I can't I'll wait for it.

  • I like your plan :-)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it is a waste of time at a young age, and it cause more harm than good

    0|0
    0|0
  • Is this for real? sounds like a feminist play book before you hit the wall ™ and then realise it's too late.

    This is the same pattern I've seen others do and it always fails yet here we are... this has to be a troll or do people really lack that insight?

    0|1
    0|0
    • I wouldn't call myself a feminist, nor a troll. Just living life as drama free and fun as I can.

What Girls Said 1

  • I am a big believer that if it is meant to happen, it will happen in its right time.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...