Girls, if you were too busy to hang out with a guy?

Say you two are at least on the level of good acquaintances, maybe even friends, and you hung out one or two times already. He kept asking you out, but eventually you started telling him you were busy and would give excuses. You don't offer free days/times on your own, maybe because you think it's the guy's duty to do so.

The guy gives up and tells you to call him when you're free if you want to hang out.

Girls, if you were truly busy those times, would you eventually call him? At least to keep in contact? About how often, say, in a span of three-four months?

If you were just giving him the brush off, would you not contact him again and expect him not to contact you again?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In a guy's shoes, towards a girl that has done that (Oh god.. time and time again!)... I wouldn't contact her. So how would I expect her to contact me? I wouldn't.

    The problem there is that if you're focusing all your effort to get in touch and make plans, yet they haven't shown that effort back until you start moving on; then your basically gonna receive a response out of a fear-factor of you moving on. Typically, when people are scared they respond more frequently than when they are comfortable.. For instance: A product that's on sale... If it says "limited time only", even though you know that "limited time only" is gonna last for a few years, you are subconsciously going to want to buy it MORE than the product that's the same without that literature.

    At this point... move on, the scare tactic you sent her of "Get in touch when you're ready (I'm done trying to get your attention)" isn't fair to her or yourself... Infact, it could risk you jumping into an emotionally dramatic relationship..No... don't do that... Wait for the right girl and pursue her instead.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • Well, to tell you the truth, the reason I said that to here wasn't to "scare" her....I did it because if I kept giving her options, if she finally said yes, I'd feel like I was forcing her. At that point, I wasn't sure if she was even interested in hanging out anymore, so I said that because it took pressure off me and I figured that if she really wanted to, she would tell me.

      But now I'm having doubts that she'd even contact me at all, whether she wanted to or not.

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    • Thanks. The doubts largely stem from the fact that one time when I asked her, she took TWO days to respond to me---she called me and asked me when I wanted to go. I gave her probably two or three different days or times and she ended up picking none of them and gave me specific excuses for each.

      I guess it's the fact that she called me on her own that keeps me thinking that there's a chance.

    • Yeah I feel you, it's much easier to walk away from girls like that. If she doesn't give you an opportunity to put your foot in the door, call her a friend and be done with it ;)

What Girls Said 2

  • Welll... Many times I am that girl who will give excuses rather than explain that I don't like him...

    Point is.

    Lose her, find yourself a girl that isn't that busy anyway.

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    • Thanks. The doubts largely stem from the fact that one time when I asked her, she took TWO days to respond to me---she called me and asked me when I wanted to go. I gave her probably two or three different days or times and she ended up picking none of them and gave me specific excuses for each.

      I guess it's the fact that she called me on her own that keeps me thinking that there's a chance.

    • Yeah, that's true. Maybe SHE is just busy... but jesus, those better have been good excuses.

  • If I were truly busy and interested in going out with him I'd let him know I was unavailable that day and offer times that I was available. and I would keep in contact within that week

    it sounds as if that girl wasn't interested and trying to brush you off

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    • Thanks. The doubts largely stem from the fact that one time when I asked her, she took TWO days to respond to me---she called me and asked me when I wanted to go. I gave her probably two or three different days or times and she ended up picking none of them and gave me specific excuses for each.

      I guess it's the fact that she called me on her own that keeps me thinking that there's a chance.

What Guys Said 0

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