Why do I cheat when I'm drunk?

Okay. First of all I realise that question sounds ignorant but let me explain. I am a girl in my late teens. I have a new boyfriend and understand that I genuinely really really like him, probably more then he likes me. I want nothing more then to stay with him and only him. The problem is whenever I'm slightly drunk I can't help wanting to kiss other guys. It's happened about 3 times now, one of which he knows about. He told me if it were to ever happen again he would never speak to me again and I can't think of anything worse. I know I sound like a prick because yes I have technically cheated 3 times and some of ye probably think if I've done it three times then surely I just don't want to be in a relationship but I really do, i have no doubt in my mind about that. Every morning I wake up and I feel beyond guilty and so mad at myself and I tell myself over and over again it Will never happen again... It does. How do I stop myself from doing this? Please don't say to stop drinking because realistically at my age and where I live and everything that's just not going to happen. But I'll take any advice anyone has please, I don't want to do it again, I'm scared I'll ruin everything. Or even if anyone has any idea why I do this


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all you're a bad fucking person and selfish for not telling your boyfriend and you deserve to feel bad.

    Secondly even if you are drunk, that's absolutely not an excuse. You can still control yourself even if you really would want to kiss someone else you are intentionally choosing to ignore your boyfriend and just do what you feel like doing, that is why you shouldn't be in a relationship if you "can't" even resist kissing other guys.

    The reason you cheat is because you allow yourself to cheat and you make excuses for yourself, you say that "you can't help it" as if you have zero control over your actions. You'd have to drink yourself pretty much black out drunk to get to the point where you truly have no idea what you're doing.

    I'm sure you want to be in a relationship but stop being selfish for one fucking second and try to look it from his perspective, he deserves better than a girlfriend who cheats on him 3 times and doesn't even tell him. This really is disgusting.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's funny how people can remember their phone password, where they live but not that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend.. :o

    If drinking is the problem here, you should cut it off. If you really don't want to skip that drink, you don't have to, but just don't over do it. You don't have to get wasted. But I don't really think drinking is the problem, I'd say you might just like the attention from other guys, the attention you get from your boyfriend might not "be enough" for you , if that's the case you should work on building up your self esteem. The other reason might be that you're simply not in love with him, it just feels good to be in a relationship..

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What Guys Said 16

  • Well clearly you don't want to be with this guy because you cheated on him repeatedly even after he told you how horrible it was, you use drinking as an excuse for your actions and then state that this is the cause but you don't want to give it up because "reasons" thus showing that you really don't like this guy or you would solve the problem by not cheating on him. Its your fault its your actions and your the only one in control of that stop making excuses and stop being a shitty person its really that simple. Break up with him because clearly you don't deserve him and you can't handle being in a relationship since you cannot control yourself (not unlike a child). Grow up.

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  • Why does where you live and your age makes not drinking impossible lol?
    You don't have to drink till you're white girl wasted (racist?) , just 3 , 4 pints to chill.
    Are you like one of those girls who go "Let's do shots!" (people who say let's do shots are exactly the type that should never be allowed to).

    Moderation is key. 🔑

    Also , tell him. How'd you feel if your guy was out there kissing girls and dudes and then come back pretending nothing has happened?

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  • Funny how this works. If a guy would have done this he would have been called the lowest creature on this planet. But when a girls does it it's all "tra li la li la".

    Anyway. Maybe ask yourself if this is a possibility. Maybe you become drunk so you can cheat on him... and here it comes... and still have something to blame your own actions on.

    About living and drinking. I am come from Amsterdam. Never drank ANY alcohol, never smoked, never did any drugs... and Amsterdam is very much known for that. It is just a matter of wanting it and that also explains the cheating.

    I may sound like I get on your case but I am just showing you what's really going on. To find the answer don't look for excuses. And the answer is NOT at the bottom of a glass.

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  • You're extremely weak willed, work on that.

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  • What I don't get is if you love and want to stay with him why do you keep drinking too get drunk if you know you're gonna cheat!

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  • because when you are drunk you think with your pussy instead of with your brain. and you have no self control when drunk.

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  • It's called self controll, I dont believe that people dont havd any when they are drunk, I believe most people use drunkness only as excuse to tell themselves that what they are doing is ok.

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    • by the way. I believe that this poor guy has a right to know what kind of a person you are, because he deserves somebody that won't cheat on him even when drunk.

  • Don't hang out with guys, having opposite sex friends is just tempting fate and the cheating temptation will be there

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  • if you really care about him stay away from alcool
    but for me... it ain't alcool the issue here

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  • You shouldn't be drinking, anyways. Not legal. No excuse.

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  • Because you were raised by Courtney Love.

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  • Then stop dating if you know you have a problem and you're not willing to fix it

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  • i got a similar problem so i decided when i go to have a drink i must take her with me :)

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  • Because you like most people throw long term thinking out the window when hammered. And being a young woman yo get constant opportunities to cheat. And when you are drunk you take them.

    You know how to avoid this. You just want to imagine there's an easier solution. There isn't.

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  • It happens because your have no self respect for yourself and none for your boyfriend... Which makes you a cheating Whore...
    Keep it up and you will end up alone in your life after all no one wants trashy sluts like you...
    And truth always comes out by the way

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    • And I have no advice for you... Your figure or or yourself... Its not rocket science...
      It will only happen if your wanna be a bettered person... And not a 3rd class drunk thrashy slut

  • Realistically, you just have to learn to control yourself when you're drunk. If not, then decide which means more to you; your boyfriend or drinking. (I don't mean to sound mean).
    I don't like girls who drink cos they've let me down before in the same way. To clarify, before people judge that, I don't drink myself (and as a 19 yr old from Essex, that's hard for many to except).
    Try to give yourself the strongest of warnings before you drink, maybe, as like a reminder - that could help? Because to me, he sounds serious about what he said if you do it again.

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What Girls Said 5

  • except not drinking is a realistic solution and an obvious one at that LOL. He deserves better.

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  • stop drinking or stay single!

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  • Stop drinking

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  • Are you just trollling or are you really just a dumb fuck?

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  • You shouldn't be in a relationship and you obviously don't like him that much. You also have no self control. You are just a bitch and you deserve to be alone forever.

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