Why do people in relationships think it's so easy for everyone to find someone?

My friend and I were talking about relationships. We're on two very different ends - I'm 21 I've never had a serious relationship and she's 22 and she's married. She's been with her husband for seven years. I was telling her about my experiences with guys and she told me I needed to stop messing around and find someone. I told her my options were limited and the only guy who currently likes me is about to have a baby. Not exactly boyfriend material.

It was a long convo of her telling me I just need to catch a guy and me trying to explain not everyone finds someone so easily. I know she didn't mean harm by it but it's been bothering me because it's a sore spot for me. I just want to know why those in relationships assume that everyone can find love so easily.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your friend is dumb.

    She's kinda like Mitt Romney talking about how he is a self made millionaire because he went to all the best private schools, got a trust fund to live off while he built his business, and the family Rolodex of millionaire business contacts to draw upon.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's easy for everyone to find someone but it's hard to find the right person. The divorce rates have risen and marriage rates have went down. There are still people out there in their 40s who still haven't found the right person. Some people who have been in serious relationships have had breakups and divorces.

    I don't think it's easy to find the right person. But people in relationships, who think it's easy, don't have have that problem so they're not worried about how hard or easy it is for others to find the right person. They currently have found the right person and they are so optimistic about their own relationship including other people's dating/relationships which make them think it's easy for everyone to find the right person.

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What Guys Said 1

  • because they're easy?
    Like someone commented below, it's easy to find someone but it's not easy to find the right someone.

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What Girls Said 11

  • This is where I agree with Mark Gungor's quote about such an issue: "It's not about finding the right person, its about doing the right things." It's very true. In a way she is correct and in some ways she is wrong. Yes, you do need to stop fooling around, but I also believe that you need to take a break from dating and focus on building yourself up as a woman first. So that way you'll know what to look for in a perspective partner. But in truth it isn't really easy if your only looking for a specific kind of partner that meets your expectations, as long as it isn't unrealistic. Some people have it extremely hard than most, and then you just have it that people aren't really attracted to you anyway. They want you to conform to what everybody else is doing and your not looking for that. So its either one way or another way. But one thing she is right about. You do need to be intentional with whom you could see yourself dating and marrying.

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  • We don't. It sounds like you think that everyone in a relationship got into one pretty easily, though. Which we (or at least I) certainly didn't. It takes work, good timing, and a bit of luck for everyone.

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  • she got married when she was 15? where is she from?

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  • Darn dating is hard. It took lots of effort on my behalf because I know I'm a tough pill to swallow so I had to find a man or I wouldn't get one. So much effort was put in, and I was played with, rejected and upset a dozen times until I felt like giving up. And just when I stopped caring, I found my boyfriend. So I won't say dating is easy, I will never say that.

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  • oooh I feel You -_-" same here hahahaha Just got asked yesterday by one of my friends " seriously why don't You have a boyfriend yet?"
    They're right, we should move our asses and get to the boyfriend shop and pick one there lol XD

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  • We don't assume that.

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  • Its not

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  • It's just because she seems to have found love so easily with her husband so she doesn't understand that not everyone will have the same experience as her. Times are hard for relationships.

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  • They're called smug marrieds

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  • Its not easy at all. I think people in relationships have a skewed perspective

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  • It's easy to find someone but it's not easy to find the right someone.

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