Are guys aware or always spontaneously when they touch women?

Help me crack the code.

I had a first date with an expat korean guy. I am 28. He is 38. He is very well educated, speak English fluently, very good career, senior director in branch company in Indonesia. I found him humble, polite, and intelligent! I love how he treated the way he talked.

Throughout the date, we had a nice conversation, the topic about work travel food etc. He never talked about sex thing at all.
He never looked down on me even when i dont know much, like general knowledge. He just happily explained to me patiently. He talked quite a lot during our date.

However, he really often touched me, such as my hands, hand ankle, both arms, my upper back, give some quick "unintentional" touches or rubs many times. He gave his palm when we talked about my cold hands, he says if i feel cold i can hold his hands, but in a very gentle and elegant way. There are more than 15 times of touch in total.

I caught him staring at me with a bright and warm smile for 3-4 seconds or more, several times. I tried my best to keep eye contact. Quite hard.

So do u think a guy will do all of those touches and with that attitude, even when he does NOT find a woman attractive to him? Or that is just his habit?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I frequently, purposely, touch women I am on a date with, for several reasons.
    I help her sit, and adjust the chair, and that sometimes involves an unintentional touch, or maybe intentional, if I hand her the napkin, and our hands touch.
    I take her hand, when she is stepping over something like a curb, or on stairs, wearing heals.
    I sometimes put my arm around her, as I open the door to some place, and 'guide' her in.
    If I am on a date, I like her, and I want her to feel comfortable, but also know that I have some feelings for her, but won't force anything, being casual, non-invasive with the casual touches. Until she decides. . .

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    • Thank u for ur comment..
      So, do u think men could / will touch woman a lot plus that attitude & behaviour (as the story), even when he doesn't find her attractive?

      plus after having dinner, he still wanted for the 2nd round just for having conversation & a cup of coffee that night.
      When we sat, medium sized round table for 4-5 people, and he moved his chair & body very close to me, only 8 cm apart i guess, while chatting he gave me those smiles just so warm & bright.

      So, i wonder if he is attracted to me or just likes being touchy.

    • I only flirt, or casually touch, women that I like, and I know that they are single, and not dating.
      I know some guys just like flirting with anyone, so you have to be careful.
      As far as what he might be thinking. . .
      Some cultures have different perspectives. I can't really offer any advice, as I only know one Korean guy, and he was married, and a really good guy.
      Sounds like the one you are with might be a little 'desperate' and getting pressures from family, or perceived cultural pressures, and maybe he's trying to speed up the 'dating' for his own reasons?
      not sure. You should ask him, directly, and see how he reacts.

    • Haha he didn't seem desperate from what i saw.
      Bcoz its been 3 days, he doesn't chat me at all.
      What i know is he is a workaholic.
      So it is either he is just lonely
      And maybe 38 year old man has different way unlike 20s-early 30s man.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he is attracted to you and he was touchy with you on purpose.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He's into you.

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    • But this is just first date.
      So is it possible that guy touches woman when he does not find her attractive?

      Are men aware of those touches?

      He could be just a touchy person. Likes to touch me bcoz he thinks he pays for the dinner.

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    • Thsnk u for ur replies... :)

    • You're welcome. Good luck!

  • Yeah lots of rapists are like that they just rape for dominance.

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    • Ok.. luckily he doesn't seem like a rapist. I can tell he is sober, normal.

      Just worried / suspicious , who knows.. he just liked being touchy, but actually not interested in me

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    • Yeah, always be careful no matter what. :p
      Ok, thank you for ur replies, i appreciate it :D

    • yaeh dawg gives a thumbs up.

What Girls Said 1

  • Of course they are aware.

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