Do women really not approach?

I keep seeing guys on here complain about women and how all they need to do is stand in one place and men will flock to them, but is it really that simple? I don't understand how any heterosexual person could become so bitter and hateful toward the opposite sex and still claim to be straight.

I love and value the men in my life, on average I like men more than women. Every crush I've ever had I've approached the guy and yeah because of it I've faced rejection. My boyfriend is my first and I'm the one who approached him. I'm the one who asked him out.

There's plenty of women who approach men and get rejected all the same. Do people really think all women do absolutely nothing at all in terms of dating?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is very very rare for a woman to approach a man simply because most women believe in gender roles and want a dominant male. With women becoming more confident in themselves (thanks to feminism (the real one not the man hating one)) more men are feeling intimidated by the woman's success. This increases introversion in men and the desire to be approached. However women still want gender roles even though they're on equal footing with men which gives them the advantage.

    A lot of men become bitter misogynists and never get laid while the rest work on themselves and try to get women since a woman approaching them is as likely as seeing an old 1920s car on the road. It's possible I've seen those cars and I've been approached a few times but it's so rare it's ridiculous.

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    • Women only adhere to gender roles that benefits them such as men mus approach, men must pay for dates.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't really get it either. I have never been in a relationship. Any time I have ever approached a guy, he has rejected me. No guy has ever asked me out. I am almost 30. I do not hate men at all. At work, the majority of people I work with are men and I get along great with them. I really don't hate anybody. At times yes I do get sad and lonely, and I do get terrified that I am going to be alone forever. However, I don't get bitter over it. I just let myself have those pity days sometimes (Netflix and gorge myself with chocolate) and then I move on and try to have fun. This summer I've filled it with a lot of fun. I went sky-diving a month ago. I do everything I can to keep busy and have fun. I work hard and save a lot of money. I am looking to buy my condo within a year.

    So I've never really understood some guys when they get so angry or hate women. It actually shocks me to see guys in their early 20s with that attitude because they are still so young. I'm approaching 30 and I don't feel that way. Maybe I will in ten or so years, but right now I am still okay. I already have two cats, so you never know, I might go down the crazy cat lady route. :)

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    • Lol I'm certain you'll find someone soon enough. You sound like a beautiful person. Anyone who is with you would be a lucky man.

What Guys Said 20

  • Most of the times women don't make a move. Sure, some do, but from 20, only 2 may make a move. Just go to a bar/club, and you'll see what I'm saying. You see a couple girls that do approach, but the rest just stays sit/standing in one place waiting.
    It's not bitterness towards the opposite gender, it's what you see.

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  • You've got to remember that this website is full of people who are here because their life has been shit. In a lot of the dudes' cases they've had pretty much no female attention but all around them they can see people in relationships and getting it on etc. They see/perceive women getting approached because that does tend to happen more, they're resentful because it looks easier for those women whereas it's so hard for them. They're also probably resentful that they're not in a position to do the approaching for whatever reason.
    Women do approach men, it's been about 50/50 for me so far. That's probably why I'm such a wonderful, pragmatic, balanced and modest individual! LMFAO

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  • Women don't approach introvert guys.
    Extrovert guys approach the majority of women
    Introvert guys see this and assume it's the women just standing there, when in reality, it's the extrovert guys getting there ahead of them.

    Any extroverted guy will get approached by women and probably reject most of them as not his type - because he chases after the women he desires.

    Here's a demographic on GaG
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2067387-how-many-introverts-are-there-on-this-site-vs-extroverts

    Obviously it's more complex than that and there are many other factors in the whole thing, but generally that's the case.

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  • If you are attractive and charming people approach you. If someone else is more attractive and charming than you then you are invisible. I'll give you one example from when I was in college...

    I was in a lab of about 30 people. On the first day we had to introduce ourselves socialize and make groups. I went up to two girl confidently and start talking to them and all the other girls started gravitating towards me from all corners of the room... I ended up with me and 3 girls in my lab group. Throughout the semester all the girls from other groups came to hang out at my lab bench and flirt with me and ask me questions and for help yada yada yada. The TA that prepped materials for the lab always came by to talk ot me and even the female professor (there was one male and one female working the lab) would treat me special... I was the big swinging dick in the room... One of the guys in the lab who was a rich frat boy got pissed off about it and actually came up to me and said "I don't get it! What the hell is so special about you?" and he started making comments about me and I blew it off with a joke and some oblivious act and all the girls giggled and we went on our way... When you're on top sure you get approached... But everyone one else is no one...

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  • I have had women approach me before (a few times) and they are never direct and often I don't realise what they are doing until I am no longer in that moment with them and by then they have clearly thought I wasn't interested in them and that was that.

    The examples are as follows. One woman said to me she'd only go to a party if I went, I assumed she saw me as a friend and thought nothing of it, so there was I at this party mingling with various people and spent the whole night away from her because she kept herself away from me and I was too drunk to really care. Well I find out a few days later that this woman liked me and wanted me to ask her out and that I missed the clues.

    Another woman I knew briefly at work decided to talk to me about a man she met on Tinder for a date and said she'd keep me posted on events (I wasn't interested in the finer details but women like to gossip, so it wasn't a problem) and she told me the following day how he stood her up and she hated men that stood her up. Again I didn't pick up on what she was doing until a mutual friend came over and told me how p*ssed this woman was because I rejected her. I didn't reject her because I had no idea that she was interested in me.

    Funnily enough the one woman that has been direct was a young Polish woman I met a mutual friends party and the only thing that put me off her was her desire to rush into marriage and children. Too much of information prior to a first date, right?

    Women approach but women are seldom direct when they approach and if you have someone as clueless as me in your midst and you're not direct I won't pick up on what you're doing until it's too late.

    Women approaching men need to be direct because while some men get hints and subtle hints at that many men like me are clueless.

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    • Well then that's stupid and those women seem more like children to me than actual women. I'm always direct and when faced with someone "indirectly" addressing me I just flat out ask them what we're doing. That's what I had to do with my boyfriend. He'd be nice a flirty with me but would leave me confused as to what we were. It was like he was playing with my head.

      I asked for advice from friend who told me to drop hints and I was like no that's too subtle and too stupid, so I asked him. I said "it's obvious that I like you and I'm confused as to whether or not you like me. So just tell me are we friends or are we dating?"

      Can't really get anymore direct than that.

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    • @tyber1 Lol I think when girls do that it's like a mind game. They're probably trying to make the guy jealous so that it will reveal he has feelings for her or something stupid like that.

    • Hippie is spot on, she wanted me to make a move from what I have been told.

  • They really don't. Maybe in their mind they approach, but in reality they go up to them and talk in a friendly manner which gives a vibe of just that. Being friendly. Also it almost never happens to average guys.

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    • So what kind of women are you talking about? From what I've seen here a huge portion of the complaints about women from men on gag are usually addressing white American women.

      I'm Puerto Rican and Jamaican and in my cultures we're taught to love and value our men. Of my group of female friends (most are also from the caribbean) they feel the same way.

      I have a gorgeous single Jamaican friend (Indian and black mixture) who is absolutely stunning. She wants nothing more than to love and dote on a boyfriend but never seems to have any luck.

      Men on gag complain as if their women hate them and are disgusted by them unless they've obtained some ridiculously materialistic trait. Perhaps it's just the culture white American women are in, and men should look elsewhere.

    • Well yeah, in my area that's the vast majority of women

  • I've literally never been approached by a woman, received a compliment on my appearance from one or had a single girl say/imply that she is interested/attracted to me. I've had various profiles on pof, okcupid and tinder, never had any women messaging me on them. Sure I'm not good looking, so that's part of it, but then I can make a fake account with pictures of an obese disgusting woman, who is objectively far worse than me in every way, yet men still talk to that profile.

    The 'rejection' women face is being unable to date men way out of their league, its simply not the same as what men face.

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  • I'm not gonna say they don't approach, but I'll say the probability that they do approach is low. And their "approach" consists of standing near you, glancing occasionally, maybe saying hi, and hoping you start a conversation with them.

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  • Maybe sometimes they do but a lot of girls have the attitude that they will never approach a guy no matter what.

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    • Because it's not their "job" to approach the guy

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    • Why would it make you feel like a loser?

    • Made me feel like I wasn't special enough. He did admit to me that he was afraid of making me his girlfriend because he was going away to college and didn't want to do anything that would hurt me. He made some promise to himself he wasn't going to date anyone until after he graduated but I came into his life just before he was going to leave. Doing all of the approaching and asking him out only to be left in the dark from time to time made me feel really bad. I felt like I wasn't good enough to him because he has dated other girls before and they were exceptionally beautiful.

  • i have had four women/girls approach me ( abd by approach i mean show so much heavy intwrest that i just asked them, instead of them actually asking me) in my lifetime. pretty sure that number would be lot higher for women

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  • I don't know, I've been approached several times. I think here's just certain types of people who either approach or don't.

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  • Only a few approach in my opinion and that's if you are lucky. I've had some girls smile and some look at me a lot but never have the guts to approach me lol. So I usually have to do it.

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  • For the most part it is true. Are there exceptions, of course, but overall it is accurate.

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  • They do, but only if the guy is special

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  • Do you really think you represent women?

    Even when you think you're doing something right, you open your mouths and whine about it.

    That's why I hate you.

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  • Let's see:
    Number of women who have approached me:1.
    Number of women I've approached: 5000.
    Hmmmm.

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    • You've approached 5,000 women?

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    • I do, I guess the women who aren't afraid to approach men are in the minority in this situation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)

    • Hey kudos to you for going out and getting what you want. That takes strength and confidence and in the end will serve you well.

  • Women only approach the hot guys that 50+ other bitches are chasing after. Very rarely do they do approaching to average guys.

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  • Obviously isn't not a common thing, otherwise there'd be nothing to complain about.

    Hateful and bitter is rather hyperbolic. Might want to watch your language.

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    • It's as stupid as the women who claim there aren't any good men. Obviously there is some truth into any complaint that people have, but to really become so angry as to just give up on the entire sex is stupid. At that point you might as well become a homosexual.

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    • If you're talking about the truly unjustifiable hatred, then why bring it up at all - it's unjustified, end of story.

    • Okay, well thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts.

  • Well honestly a lot of women do sit back and do nothing and usually when they do approach it's because they're materialistic and want something from you. Just my experience.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I've approached guys before and have been rejected each time, so I'm tired of seeing guys say it's so easy for girls... if you're "hot" or whatever, sure... I don't even bother anymore b/c there's obviously something wrong with me to have been rejected so many times but it's not like I've never tried...

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    • That's just as bad as the guys who become bitter. Don't let it get you down, I remember feeling exactly the same as you but rejection is simply apart of life.

  • I approached, and got rewarded with sex.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just depends on the dude. I won't always approach, only if he looks like he's gonna be worth it.

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  • Some do but then you come across as desperate for some reason. It's a double edged sword:

    You don't approach: you're conceited
    You do approach: you're desperate

    Guys just find a way to get pissy with women because they're insecure about themselves

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  • I sometimes approach a guy, if I like him and ask him if he wants to go for a date.

    I either get accepted, declined, or a few that called it pathetic. I don't see what's wrong, if a woman makes the first move if she wants to.

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