I'm having a hard time getting her to hang out with me a second time. What do I do?

I'm 24 she's 19...me & girl have been talking for about a month and hung out once. We text each other every day and she seems interested in me. She even texts me before she goes to bed as late as 12am good night. She is having problems with her parents and her grandmother's health. She has also been hurt before. Anyways, my problem is I'm having a hard time getting her to hang out with me a second time. I've thought oh well she isn't interested and stopped texting her but she'll initiate texting with me and shows all the signs that she likes me. I know two other guys that hung out with her & talked to her but then she cut them off cold. With me she still likes talking to me but we haven't hung out a second time. What's her deal? I'm so confused about what I should do. After all she is a nice catch and would like to date her. Could use some advice. Thank you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, her reluctance could be due to a lot of things. You say that she has been hurt in the past, so she may be afraid of getting close to another man. She may also be afraid that her family problems could drive a wedge in between her and a man. The fact that when you stop texting her, she initiates the conversations, says to me that she probably has feelings for you, but is really unsure of what she wants.

    Really, we could what-if this till the cows come home, but the simple fact is this: JUST ASK HER. You can save yourself a whole lot of mental anguish and just go to her and ask her what's going on. If you really like her, tell her that you realize that she's been hurt in the past and that even though she's having some family issues right now---that you think that she is an amazing person. That's you're not trying to put undue pressure on her, but with the way that your conversations are going, that you feel like there is a possibility that she likes you too. If she says that she reciprocates your feelings then ask her for the chance to just take her out. Tell her that she deserves to be happy and that everyone needs a night off.

    And then, pamper the hell out of her. Make her feel comfortable. She feels emotionally skittish because of past relationship problems, what you need to show her is caring and stability. Once you do that, she will come around. And if she doesn't----her loss.

    • Thanks for the advice. About the whole asking her thing, I am confident and not scared to ask here about her feelings I am just worried about the timing because she is having some real family issues right now. Do you think its bad timing or should I just go for it? I don't want to scare her off.

    • I think you can go for it, you just need to be tactful about it. Make it clear that you know that she has family problems, but that you aren't going to let that hold you back---You think she's a catch. So, what if she has a little baggage. Who doesn't? She shouldn't let family problems get in the way of her feelings either. Both of you don't want to have to look back and regret that nobody made a move.

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What Girls Said 1

  • obviously she likes you. instead of texting her, call her one time... during the day. ask her out to eat or something. if she says no, wait a few days and try one more time, if she says no again I wouldn't waste your time. but the best thing I could tell you is to try. she seems like she's been hurt before, but just reassure her that she's beautiful when you guys are out eating, compliment her when you pick her up say you like her outfit, even if it sucks. the best you can do with a girl like this is be as caring as you can without coming off clingy. =)


What Guys Said 1

  • You said she's been hurt before in the past you know how long it takes a girl to recover from bullsh*t like that haha you just have to be patient if you want this chick she is confused and doesn't know wtf she is doing with any guy right now. She is probably nervous to hangout again, If you got all the time in the world then wait for her if not move on.