My boyfriend called one of my friends sexy?

We were talking with one of my boyfriends friends and talking about how he needed to find a girl and out of nowhere my boyfriend says "hey she's got a friend named Carli and dude she's SEXY" I felt so put down and hurt that he would say this in front of me. I didn't cause a scene because his friend was there but it really made me feel weird about him and disrespected. Girls and guys should I feel so bad about this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you freaking serious? Lol come on! Be real. It's a good thing you didn't create a scene cause you would have looked like a crazy bitch. Seriously, a fight about that would be enough for any guy to reconsider being with you. If you go crazy for such a small thing then you must go crazy all the time for other equally banal things. Your jealousy is up there. You need to realize that you are not the only girl in the world and that they don't suddenly stop being sexy just cause your boyfriend is with you.

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    • It's not jealousy and it's not being a crazy bitch... it's knowing that I deserve to be respected

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    • I wasn't any better. All is forgotten dear.

    • Thank you

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow! Have mouth insert foot here! I'd have been like WTF? He should have been more sensitive. I imagine he's just trying to talk up another girl for the sole purpose of helping his friend. I'd rather hear him say she's really nice or has a great personality but to get the friends interest in her, maybe he needed to use guy talk.(devils advocate) It would've been smarter to keep that "sexy" part out in your presence. I think you should ask his real views on your friend Carli or the next time you are all together with her it may get awkward. hopefully he can dig his way out of this.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Yea I definitely wouldn't be cool if my girlfriend started talking about how sexy my friends were. That's fucked up.

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  • He's use expressing his feelings. He's not trying to be disrespectful to you. Just calling someone sexy is not a slap in the face, is it/

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    • Look up the definition of sexy and try to tell me that that's not a slap in the face to say about another women with your girl sitting right there.

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    • Yes I would be mad. It is disrespectful. It has happened to me, just in a different scenario, but my man is kinda stupid. I think they do this to see how mad we get and I'm sure they do feel like the girl is something to talk about, just Do Not do it while in our presence... is that so fucking difficult or what? Plus I've seen this boy upgrade some girl from cute to gorgeous, its like come on now stupid now ik you're talking shit the bitch has a muffin top and a mustache... so just stop.

    • @jjesica346 lmao thank you!!!

  • Lmfaoo

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  • You should have a healthy emotion of jealously. Nothing overwhelming, just enough to know that you care and wanna be his number 1

    But that's where you should draw the line and move on

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  • who is together with him? you or your sexy friend? you are, this means that you are more sexy to him than her, or supposed to be.

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  • reeks of insecurity. So what if he finds other people sexy, don't tell me you haven't found other guys to be sexier than him.

    "It's not jealousy and it's not being a crazy bitch... it's knowing that I deserve to be respected "
    Doesn't sound like respect you want... You seem like you want him to ONLY have you in his mind.

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    • What woman doesn't want that? Whether it's going to be like that or not, I don't know a woman who wouldn't want to be the only thing on their significant others mind

    • What kind of women doesn't want that? Ones that realize that other women exist and has confidence that their partner isn't going away any time soon. The ONLY ones trying to force their partner into avoiding all other women is one that is too afraid of other people
      'stealing' away their partner. Is your relationship so vapid and fragile that your partner developing a female friend or commenting on someone else's attractiveness is enough to get you riled up with emotions?

      I suppose his profession doesn't involve dealing with lots of women.. Of course you wouldn't be able to stand that...

  • I think he didn't mean it like that because he was trying to help his friend the same way you were but if it offends you that he still looks at other girls, let him know

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  • He is simply talking the girl up to his friend - if you were trying to fix up a guy to one of your girlfriends would you advertise him like "oh he's a fat slob"? Of course you wouldn't.

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    • But to be respectful he could've said it differently like said she was pretty instead of sexy? Sexy is a word you should only use about your girl.. at least that's how I feel

    • It's just a word girl. You are reading so much into this and it's not doing you any good.

      - He is with you not her
      - He finds you sexy too

      You clearly have some kind of insecurity because its your friend. If you boyfriend finds Adrinana Lima sexy i bet you wouldn't care. You gotta let it go otherwise you two have no future, people dont stop being attractive just because ur in a relationship and jealousy is the biggest relationship wrecker there is.

    • True

  • Oooooh I like where this is going :v
    38.media.tumblr.com/.../...okiqAN7a1rcg2ib_500.gif
    Don't worry... unless your friend likes to sleep around a lot then... hold yo man tight lol XD

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  • If he said it in front of you it means even less then it would in casual conversation. Guys don't say that in front of there girlfriends if it did mean anything. He was probably just trying to say "agree to it she looks nice".

    Tell him and I doubt it'll happen again.

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  • well guess what you´re not the only sexy girl in the world xD guys will never find the girl their with literally to be the sexiest of all. deal with it.

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  • ... that is silly. You dont find people attractive when you have a boyfriend, all other guys look exactly the same? lol

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  • Lighten up.

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  • Be be so insecure!! It's a compliment only

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    • A compliment to another girl (who wasn't even there) while his girlfriend is sitting right in front of him

    • It's normal... Completly... It's not disrespectful... I mean just because he is with you doesn't mean he can't find others girls attractive

  • "Oh no, my boyfriend thinks a female is pretty. He doesn't care about me at all."
    *sighs*

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    • OK so if he would've said "pretty" instead of sexy that would be a different story but he didn't. He shouldn't call no other girl sexy. I think it's fucked

    • OK let me rephrase it.
      "Oh no, my boyfriend thinks a female is sexy. He doesn't care about me at all."
      *sighs*

    • Lmao

  • You are upset because your boyfriend proved that he is not gay?

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    • And your comment is stupid because yep he's totally gay even though he's with me... dumb ass

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    • He wasn't trying to be honest about his feelimgs. It was an accident that he said it. HI'm and his friend knew he fucked up when he said it

    • So he was honest accidentally but you find it a problem anyway? I really don't understand you lol

      Look, girls are hot. We look at them. Finding someone attractive, maybe even wanting to bone them, does not mean we have love for them. For guys none of this necessarily has emotion attached to it.

      So your guy accidentally let slip that he likes girls. It's not a big deal. Most straight guys like girls you know. It's part of why he's with you, don't forget that.

  • It's just how boys talk to other boys. I suppose a persuasive way to tell his mate that one of your friends is single and calling her sexy is a good start for him. I dont think he disrespected u in any way. If he had suggested you go with his friend "here take her" kinda way.. then this would be disrespectful.
    Don't take it to heart girl. He wouldn't be with you if you weren't sexier. Trust me.

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  • No, you shouldn't. He was trying to talk up a girl so his friend would be interested. It had NOTHING to do with you.

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    • But it did have to do with me since I was sitting right there when he disrespected me. And after all , he is talking about MY friend? Not trying to counter what you are saying. I completely understand what you are saying but still...

What Girls Said 18

  • I'd be upset about that too.

    Sorry he did not think about your feelings there. Perhaps have a word with him in private about how that hurt you and ask for him to maybe be a bit more sensitive toward your feelings. Don't do it in argumentative way, just let him know you are hurt.

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  • Yeah I think it's just common courtesy to not like that in front of your partner. Neither me or my boyfriend do it and agree it's disrespectful and pointless. Some shit you keep to yourself or your friends.

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  • OH ON HE DIDN'T! Fuck off I would say!

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    • Girl... I was so pissed

  • Don't be intimidated by your boyfriend thinking another woman is attractive - although to me this just sounds like he is convincing his friend.

    Do you think she's sexy? Then a guy has eyes too.
    Unless you are both settling then he finds you incredibly attractive that's why you are his girlfriend.

    It was perhaps immature but no doubt him and his friends talk about girls when you aren't there.
    He will talk about you too but in a different way.

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    • I know he's gunna do that kind of stuff when I'm not around but isn't it disrespectful for him to say it right in front of me?

    • Its down to you - just the other option could have been you joining in on the conversation and agreeing with your boyfriend that she's hot.
      Since at the end of the day its for the benefit of their hook up! Hah

  • I wouldn't feel bad about this if I were you. My boyfriend says things like this about people I know sometimes and it doesn't mean anything at all. I'd relax if I were you.

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  • Meh, I don't really see why that's such a big deal but if it upsets you, ten it's best to talk to him about it.

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  • Nah it makes sense that you'd get upset. Thing is "sexy" is too indicative of her sex-appeal, I think in your presence he should have said she was "cute" or "good looking", kind of neutral adjectives that simply describe her looks.

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    • That's what I was thinking too. Like he could have said any other word like pretty or cute like you said and I wouldn't have got as offended.

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    • If I talk to him about it he will just shut me down and make it seem like I'm the one being a bitch... that's how he is...

    • That's how we all are unless the guy is a carpet...

  • He's with you because he wants to be with you! That doesn't turn the other 4 billion girls on the planet into trolls. He can think you are hot, and still be aware of the fact that you aren't the only hot one.

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  • "Put down", "hurt" and "disrespected" are not things you should feel, because its not like he called you ugly and your friend hot. He just said she was hot. However it is a little inappropriate for him to be saying that about your friend to someone else whilst you're sat there next to him.
    Tell him he shouldn't of done that, or at least shouldn't of used the word "sexy" because it basically made you feel insecure. Though don't be surprised if he bites back and tells you to stop being so insecure because to be honest, he CAN say when others are attractive.

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  • Thats why i dont like to bring my friends too much around my boyfriend.. be watchful though..

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  • I wouldn't worry too much, obviously if he constantly talks about how she's 'sexy' then it's disrespectful, but he only said it once, and it sounds like he said it quite offhandedly.

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  • For him being your boyfriend doesn't change the fact that your friend is sexy and maybe he didn't say for himself but for his friend like for example he wanted to recognize your friend with his friend or sth like that maybe

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  • Personally I don't think he did anything wrong as he was stating his opinion. And if your friend is one of the sexy people (some people are) then he was just stating a fact. That said if it bothers you, just calmly tell him that it does.

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  • Hey... He had the guts to say it to your face, imagine if he was saying it behind your back.

    Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they can stop admiring others beauty.

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  • boys will be boys

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  • Go up to him and be like wtf?

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    • Girl it was like 3 days ago but I'm still soooo upset about it!!

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    • He done fucked up

    • This mother fucker up here thinks he's funny⬆⬆ 😂

  • Tell him how you feel, tell him you dont like it when he comments on girls looks. He should have tol his friend in private later

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  • Eh bound to happen. Drop him

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    • Like if he wasn't afraid to say that in front of me it makes me wonder what he's doing behind my back

    • Ikr! He's a dick for sure!

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