What makes a person "controlling," in your opinion?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A controlling person doesn't just try and decide for you what to do and not, the result of that and the actual controlling is the person actually manipulating your emotions. When you start to seriously criticize, mock or plain deny people their right to freely chose and express themselves, that is controlling.
    I had a very controlling girl friend once. This is an example of how it would go down:
    She said I had to watch this show she liked, and I absolutely hated it, and told her I really didn't like it. Then she would get REALLY pissed, and stopped talking to me for a few days. Similar things happened too. She wanted to decide things for me, I didn't "obey" and she started "punishing" me by removing her presence from me, as she knew I really depended on her.
    It sounds dumb, but it really offended me that she would misuse my trust and thought she had power over me. I'm still friends with her, but she has less influence in my life now XD

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Most Helpful Girl

  • - Taking it upon themselves to make decisions for you
    - Guilts you into doing what *they* want you to do
    - Doesn't let anyone else have a say when it comes to decision making

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What Guys Said 17

  • it can be physical (use of physical threat and force), verbal (vocal power, dominerring), or manipulative in nature (manipulate emotionally to control anothe rperson.

    bottom line, it is about meeting their needs, not helping you to achieve your greatest life. A person may contribute to your life by controlling so you don't get hurt, but ultimately must let you live your life.

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    • so what makes them controlling? Their emotional wounds and insecurities or false sense of self and power.

  • Depends on how much they are attempting to limit my freedom and how they express their concerns. There is a difference between "It really hurts me when you do xyz, and I would appreciate it if you could do it less" and making demands in a loud, agressive tone.

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  • When whenever you're trying to do something he/she asks where you're going, what you're going to do. When whenever you asks for something, he/she asks what for. Etc.

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  • The undeniable need to make the other person change to suit them

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  • When they need to know everything about you every second of the day. When they look at your texts and demand your social media password. When they don't let you hang out with the opposite sex just because they're "worried". It's not worry it's possessiveness. there's a difference between asking if she's going to be safe with a guy who looks like a bad character and not allowing her to have friends because of jealousy. I think that once you infract someones privacy or try to determine what or who they see it's gotten to a harmful level, however some control freaks are more subtle in their manipulation.

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  • if I want to go out with my friends and you don't want me too..

    if you say "you don't have time for me, only for your friends " this is controlling

    and
    if you say "i think we should go for a long drive (and then make puppy faces)" now this is not controlling.

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  • When she asks me to do things I'm not comfortable with. When she asks what in doing constantly, wants to know whoever I'm hanging out with, or looks through my phone.

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  • Urging you to make a choice on your own, and then adding a discouraging comment whenever you try to make a decision. "Gee, are you sure about that?"
    I'M LOOKING AT YOU MUM.

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  • If they control what I do and tell me what I cannot do

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  • taking a nosedive in your telephone, controlling the chat you had with everyone, trying to look into your hard disk

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  • tells me i can't show/express my love for her unless she does first

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  • The permission you give them to control

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  • A man should take lead but always listen to his main hoes needs. Ultimately the last word belongs to him tho.

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  • If they are not willing to let you have your say in a conversation, and never do what you want.

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  • When they have the power to take something away that you really love.

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  • being bitchy

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  • when he or she restricts you from doing normal activities that anyone should be able to do

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What Girls Said 2

  • Being clingy and posessive

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  • If they tell me what I can or cannot do.

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    • Also gives orders and expects me to follow them.

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