Men: do you ever avoid touching a woman you like? If yes, why?

I hung out with a guy I met a couple of weeks ago over the weekend and noticed he seemed to be avoiding sitting close or touching me at all. for example: our arms grazed each other and he seemed to be shocked by it and quickly pulled back. it confused the hell out of me. I thought he was interested but now I just don't know. I'm used to guys (that are into me) finding any excuse they can to touch me.

what do you think? not interested or something else?

  • yes
    9% (3)59% (37)42% (40)Vote
  • no
    18% (6)30% (19)26% (25)Vote
  • results
    73% (24)11% (7)32% (31)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
those of you voting yes, leave your reasons why

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Out of respect.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wasn't sure what your poll answers referred to so I just clicked show results. The only reason I can think of is that the guy isn't interested and doesn't want to lead you on.

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    • I think I asked this a week ago. I moved on already. lol

      the thing is though, the night we met he was totally different. so it was just really weird and confusing, but either way I lost interest the day after I asked this. certain things were actually too much of a turn off for me.

What Guys Said 34

  • I don't think so usually you find any excuse to touch someone you like.

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  • As per the enclosed blog link http://edumckaytion.com/blog , men are conditioned to believe that even looking at women is viewed as offensive & predatory , you have to agree that Western " society " does view male sexuality as " pervy , rapey , disgusting " etc. I will never be dating again as my situation ( i'm a single dad also works FT ) does not allow it , but I would NEVER even attempt to touch a woman I've just met , I would maintain at least 3 ft of distance for her comfort , if we both liked each other & she closed the distance / touched first , then I may touch back.

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  • I only attempt it when I get vibes that she'd be open to it. I don't like to push my luck, so assurance of consent is a big thing for me.

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    • what do you consider vibes a woman is into you?

    • Smiles back, carries herself as open, will five me and not act disgusted, will let me sit close to her, will let me stand closer without slinking further away, is not making bad excuses to dismiss herself, and accepts my gesture to show her a more physical side, rather than suddenly getting defensive, projecting, or preaching.

  • Apparently touching them is sexual harassment now. So I don't even like touching women

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  • Yes, only because I'm not sure if she would be comfortable with me touching her.

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  • I do depending on circumstance or attainability of that person. Also, situations will fuck your life up if you do act on your desires!

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  • could be interested, can't tell from that alone. at your age, I'd think he'd show interest though if he was interested.

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    • lol. men don't get any less confusing with age.

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    • how often do you see women patting men on the butt? randomly kissing him is too forward for me. and the arm thing could just be a friendly gesture. I do that with guy friends sometimes

    • I'd say rare, but would be obvious. not sure I'd like it unless it was light pat.
      not sure what else to suggest at the moment, it is tough to get through to shy guys. They are the ones that are supposed to make their intentions clear and they can't.

  • It could be any number of things TBH. I remember there was this realtor at a house that was smokin hot. She stepped toward me and I took a step back. Even though I found her quite attractive, it's just my instinct. I'm naturally "jumpy" and sensitive to other people's energy fields.

    I haven't gotten close (meaning distance wise) to the gal that sparked the below thread, but at least I'm ready to sense if our energy fields are comparable (meaning, I won't step back). www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2069158-questions-about-rbf-resting-bitch-face

    How well do you know this guy?

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  • I don't want to touch other people in general, including girls I'm interested in that haven't shown interest in me back. The reason being I think touching me when I don't want you to is a gross invasion of my personal space... but I also recently realized that sometimes girls show interest by touching you, so I'd keep an eye out for that. I'd follow the girls lead but sadly I think I'd shrink back if touched unexpectedly out of habit :( .
    Also there are people who think guys touching girls like that is creepy or rapey so I'm definitely not going to stick my neck out and be judged completely wrong either.

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  • Did you give him a static shock lol? I've had that happen before.

    I wouldn't read too much into it at this stage. How is his communication with you otherwise?

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    • pretty good, I guess. takes all day to respond to texts, but he's a guy, and work a 9-5 job, so I'm not reading much into that. just sucks waiting.

  • I used to, just because I didn't want to be seen as "creepy". A lot of girls (feminist types especially) complain about guys touching them so it's just him trying to not be an asshole.

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  • I would like to use excuses to make physical contact, but at the same time I'm terrified of seeming handsy or creepy. If at any point any of those excuses don't fly, I'm ruined. I think most guys are hyper-aware of any physical contact they make with girls, especially if they have interest. So shying away can be just as just much a sign he's interested.

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  • I do NOT avoid touching my wife. :D

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    • well, I would hope not. ;p

      how were you with her before you started dating?

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    • aww, such a gentleman ! p

  • fear of rejection

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  • Cooties

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  • Yes, he's into you, just scared, nervous. Ask him about his relationship past, he may not have one. Soumds a bit like me. You have to ask him about how he feels around you, and you may need to do some work to get him to say it.

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  • Actually Yes! when I had a crush on this girl during my freshmen year of college I was avoiding talking too much, to I don't know maybe not to mess it up. I think she also liked me, she also wanted to walk after class.
    But yeah so the point is that some guys actually do avoid touching or any physical contact cause they don't want you to know they like you and are afraid that what if you don't. And in your case, he might be avoiding because he didn't want to give you the vibe of him wanting to have sex

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  • That would've been my reaction if I was interested. He might've been embarrassed about touching you because he is attracted to you, so he was afraid you didn't want to be touched by him. However, he might also not want to lead you on, so it's hard to say. Heard of the hoverhand phenomenon? When taking photos with an attractive girl, some guys won't touch a girls waist or shoulder. Guys who are shy, inexperienced, or insecure don't want to invade a woman's personal space when they feel like they don't deserve to get close. I admit I'm very insecure and did the hoverhand when I was younger, but I've also observed women squirm while trying to get away from touchy/creepy guys, and I have desire to put a girl through that. (Once I'm in a relationship though, I'm very cuddly) Eventually, a guy might figure out what amount of touching is harmless and can still convey interest, but it takes a lot of confidence.

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  • Of course i will like to touch a woman i desire to have sex with, whom im attracted to? That's totally natural. Only nice, insecure guys will avoid that.

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  • Yes. Restraining order.

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  • I usually try to avoid it unless I know the girls is open to it and even then I try not to over do it. For me its because I Dont know if she is also interested so I'm trying to avoid crossing personal boundaries and creeping her out. I Dont want to scare her off or alienate her.

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  • I avoid touching only because I don't know how to touch girls in a flirtatious way if that makes any sense lol. Like when I do it always feels random, forced, and awkward. Shy person problems xD

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    • hmm, maybe he's just shy.

    • Perhaps. Give him subtle touches sometimes and he might become more comfortable and take it as green light to touch you too.

  • Is he married or already with someone?

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    • no. I wouldn't have been out alone with him if he were in a relationship. what a ridiculous question to ask.

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    • your comment was silly. respect has nothing to do with. try not being so overly sensitive

    • Whatever...

  • Yes, since someone told me to try it at a frat party, then I got falsely accused of touching her tits and kicked out.

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  • He might be shy. And nervous Cuz he's out of ur league.

    Maybe he's just gotten over a bad relationship and has trust issues

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  • Not to the degree that I recoil if we do touch but I avoid being a douchebag who'll find any excuse to touch her and be all over her, the type of girl I'm into doesn't dig that until we're getting together.

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  • Personally I don't get all touchy with girls I like, unless it's mutual.

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    • Also 'avoiding' is a bad word. I don't 'avoid' anything. I just don't intiiate. He pulled his arm away so maybe he's incredibly shy?

  • im not a touchy feely guy at all. it makes me uncomfertable, so i feel like im invading their personal space when i do.

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  • If I avoided touching her, it's because I wouldn't know her reaction, and if she reacted by thinking I was a creep, then she'd be gone and I would have a chance with her.

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    • Although I will admit, If I like her a LOT, I'll try to accidentally bump into her or things like that.

  • Perhaps back in the day so I didn't get a boner and further embarrass myself

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