Do you think it's important to be with someone you feel a spark with or are compatible with?

I have a tendency to only go for guys I feel an initial spark with. My friends told me the soak is the chase (they tend to be less clingy which I like). On the other hand, I've been with really sweet, successful attractive guys that I don't feel a spark with and end things. Obviously I haven't had much success so just looking for more opinions.

  • Go for the spark
    49% (17)58% (19)53% (36)Vote
  • Go for compatibilIty
    51% (18)42% (14)47% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • From what i''ve experienced, my only long (>2 year) relationship has been spark that molded into compatibility.

    I don't think a "good" relationship is possible without both - Think of it like this, If you chase the spark it has a 50/50 chance you'll ALSO be compatible. If you only go for compatibility you'll never experience the spark.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • With no sparks, there is no real attraction in my opinion. You can have compatibility with friends from the opposite gender, and that doesn't mean you'll date them.

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What Guys Said 20

  • I'm logically driven for the most part and it can hurt me in dating lol. I think that synergy needs to be there but I think that is built over time. I don't really have that initial 'spark' per say right from the get go.

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    • per se* I always fuck that up lol. Excuse my poverty grammar brah

    • Well if the sparks not there that means you ain't feeling it lmao. That goes for anybody

    • Forgiven. Lol but that surprises me. Since your pretty physical I thought you would have valued the spark more

  • Compatibility is you thinking a relationship makes sense. But that usually comes with a lack of a spark. And a relationship that has no spark is doomed to fail. You could just be friends, but you will never have a romantic relationship.

    A spark on the other hand is often mistaken with just being horny. Sexual tension (and physical attraction) and an emotional spark are not necessarily the same thing (but can go hand-in-hand). And that initial spark then goes away quite fast. And a long-lasting relationship happens when that initial spark, that initial fire is nurtured and turns into a deep-burning ember.

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    • Also note that compatibility doesn't mean to have the same interests. You can and should be different to your partner. What makes compatibility is that you are on the same wavelength and complementing each other.

  • At your age the spark is the only thing you should worry about. Have fun and enjoy your life.

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  • Well honestly you kind of need both that spark and capability.

    Capability is important because why would you be with someone that doesn't complements and or contrasts you as a persons?

    spark is important because that initial spark, that initial fire can be nurtured and turned into a deep-burning ember, required for a long term relationship.

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  • go for both.
    and if your friends are girls, dont listen to them about how to do this and that with guys, because girls dont know a damn thing about guys in the first place.
    when guys are clingy it means they actually want to keep you, so if you dont like it, then thats not going to get you a relationship, you'll just end up with players or you'll play them, which seems to be all your doing.

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  • Okay well let me ask you a similar question.

    If you had to choose between an exciting life and a happy life, what would you think was more important? Obviously if you could have both that would be ideal, but I personally think that a happy life is better than a life that is exciting. You can live an exciting life and wind up being pretty damn miserable.

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  • Depends on if you're looking for a passionate relationship or one that's more likely to be healthy. If you just want a nice healthy relationship with less risk involved, go for compatibility. If you're looking for a lot of relationship with a lot of fire burning and hair flying but with the risk of it becoming less healthy over time, go for the spark. I'm a risk taker myself so I tend to put spark before compatibility.

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  • Both.

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  • I would probably say spark with

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  • I think about the long term and know that the spark would piss me off after a few years. A decade with someone I'm not compatable with would be hell.
    So only for a 1 night stand or booty call. Nothing serious.

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  • You should go with the spark!
    I tend to go with spark but physically I'm more for the compatible approach if i don't want an actual relationship.

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  • of course

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  • Its who ever can make your penis or vagina tingle and your heart fell all butterflyee and shit lol.

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  • Spark? I hope your not sitting on your car's jumper cables that still have power going threw them :P :) :P :) :P :P :P

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  • "Spark" is like looks and "compatibility " is like intelligence, and we all know looks fade but intelligence last forever 😊

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  • Well if there's no spark I wouldn't consider them to be compatible.

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  • Both

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  • When both parties go for compatibility with God, the spark and the compatibility between each other come naturally.

    The better the relationship you have with God, the better the relationship you have with each other!

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  • I prefer compatibility. The spark will eventually die out and you have nothing else to look foward to after that.

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    • So you think the spark doesn't happen immediately?

    • Well don't get me wrong, it's good to have that initial spark, BUT, there also has to be compatibility. If I had to choose one or the other it depends, short term I'd go for spark and long term I'd go for compatibility, because a long term relationship with just initial spark and no compatibility isn't going to end well.

  • This is why you men end up damaged beyond repair and with endless amounts of baggage and it's because you are unable to think logically. Anyone who is rational and has any intelligence knows that compatibility in the long-term is more important as sparks fade with time.

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What Girls Said 7

  • in my opinion there has to be both. We have to get along and have interests in common but if there isn't that immediate chemistry they are just a friend and not a potential love interest. If there's only chemistry and no compatibility or common interests then they're just a friends with benefits.

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    • I agree.. I haven't really found somebody with both yet tho

    • Then just keep on looking. That's really the difficult part for most people. They get very depressed and worn down when they don't quickly find someone that "has it all" so they settle for less and may end up in an unhealthy relationship or simply just unhappy.

  • I would say a mixture of both, it just makes things even more intense if you feel sparks flying and theirs a lot of chemistry there. Compatibility is also important, its true that opposites can attract, but its easier when you have more in common or at least some common ground.

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  • When most people say spark, they usually mean sexual tension and all the excitement of 'what will we become' - as in infatuation - that are bond to disappear or at least die down once you're actually in a relationship and have other things to attend to. All the other emotional stuff is kind of a fairy-tale thing.

    You're still quite young and probably lack the patience, but you can actually build a spark out of compatibility. The opposite is not true.

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  • #1!!!

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    • You are such an xper slut xD

    • Show All
    • @Pac-Man - Hey. This one was legit. I hate trying to be the 1st and typing out something long; only to be like #4 after I'm done.

      That extra 1xp adds up buddy. xP Total xp sloot

    • Sigh. I know the feeling. That's why I choose compatibility.

      "The spark" might fade over time. Compatibility? If you've got enough in common, it'll always be there.

  • Well what happens when the sparks are gone? You end things right? I normally like to date guys who I'm compatible with, with that said he needs to stimulate my mind and i must be attracted to him. Sparks are important but after a while they end and I'm left to deal with the actual guy and his flaws. I much rather date someone who i connect on a more compatible level and pre sue to connect on different levels.

    You need to be able to have fun with his guy, be able to have a real conversation, someone who make you think, and challenges you grow, someone who awakes your soul, some you trust. I normally fall for a guy who I've been befriended and have developed feeling for and eventually sparks develop.

    I hope this kinda helps.

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  • I don't think compatibility can be genuine without the spark

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  • Compatibility is more important for me but I prefer both spark and compatibility.

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