Do guys ever actually get 'freaked out' by their feelings for a girl?


0|2
1|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually... if I'm developing serious feelings. Sometimes I push the girl away if I know I'm falling too hard, because I don't want to make it too obvious how much I like her. I hold those cards close to my chest.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Okay. And how do you proceed from that point?

    • Show All
    • Haha his response sounds like something I'd say.

      3-4 hours of texting back and forth is quite an investment of time.

      Personally I'm not into flings and prefer serious relationships, so I don't date unless I can see myself with the girl long term. He's getting older, already in his 30's, so he's definitely thinking about settling down, at least a little bit.

      Sex is very important to the relationship, so it's good that he says that. It is considered when thinking long term compatibility.

      You are right about not wanting to scare him away. I definitely think you should try and see him more often, it would be a good indicator of what his feelings for you are based on his response. Get a feel for where he is in the relationship stage and ease him into the next level of you moving closer.

      He will know for sure how much you like him if you do say you will drop everything and move to be closer the him - something to consider.

    • 3mo

      Ha, doesn't seem like three weeks ago. This should work...

      http://imgur.com/a/Beppo

What Guys Said 19

  • Depends on if I'm feeling strong for someone that I either, don't have a shot at, or is unattainable for me because of circumstances and/or "reasons". Then it, FUCKING SUCKS ASS (sorry offense nazies), to have these feelings for someone that you know probably won't be reciprocated or can and won't develop into anything substantial. Then it's like torture to try and get the feelings out of my thoughts and desires. But it's "human" to have this happen so guys and girls will always go through this at some point in their lives.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I agree. It's the worst feeling to actually like someone and they either don't like you back or you can't be sure how they really feel. It seems impossible to let go of feelings you've developed for someone over time, especially when they've previously seemed to like you by their words/actions.
      Unfortunately, we do have to go through things that aren't the best... I've been through plenty and would just like to no longer have to play a game just to like someone and have them like me back lol

    • Show All
    • Yeah, I can see why it hurts you even more so, because you felt so powerful for him, and you thought he did the same that you two married. But then it went away for some reason. I can't explain these things. Maybe, it really wasn't there and he was trying to make it become this way. In your mind it was always there, but how can anyone know what's going on in another's mind? You just hope it is mutual when you are married and I feel that every day, in the back of ones mind when they are married, that this feeling is mutual and never ending. But, things happen during marriage that can change this. This is why, marriage is SOOO hard. I used to feel that people weren't meant to be exclusive. Because it's so hard. But now I'm re-thinking this in that, I believe that was the idea way back when, where our lifestyles were easier to deal with, our cultures were more closely linked, our lives were "simpler" and more intimate and less outside forces were encumbering on people's freedoms.

    • That marriage was way easier before, and now, the lifestyle now is making it really hard to achieve. Or that a permanent relationship is harder now. But I do feel that it's still viable and should be a thing. Don't get me wrong, what I mean about a permanent relationship is one that you both have a mutual level of trust and affection for each other that is mutually strong and that nothing should break it. How this relationship works should be traditional anymore, because the way people and lifestyles are now, the traditional cookie cutter idea, probably isn't anymore. But we should all have someone that we can truly trust and care for and expect and not fear we will get that same amount back.

  • Yes, constantly. Some are good at concealing that behind a poker face, but don't be fooled. Feelings for a. girl are difficult to handle.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Would you mind elaborating on 'difficult to handle'?

  • lol.. yea... because I'm known for not having any so when a little comes up... i panic and whack it like the whack-a-mole game. one girl slipped through the cracks though... this was before the whack game... freaks me out...

    1|0
    1|0
    • Is it mostly out of fear of committing to one woman? Or just a fear of allowing yourself to be vulnerable to another person?
      What do you mean by she 'slipped through the cracks'?

    • After all the shit I've done and the "trail of broken hearts" (like my friends say) that I've left behind... i don't think its commitment that scares me anymore. Its the fact that not much surprises me anymore. I can commit (want to), but she's gotta be hella special because... no modern "regular" girl or woman will ever be able to handle me. And knowing myself, when she tries that girl "bullshit" on me... i fire back 3 times as hard.
      On the vulnerability issue... that is VERY true... goes back to her being special...
      "slipped through the cracks"... before i could clearly see the bullshit that most girls were on and act accordingly... she was there. After her, i don't think I've been with anyone longer than a year and a half. because they would try something and i'd be like "hell no, not with me". but she gets away with literally everything.
      people say i put up walls... lol... thats for amateurs... this is past that.

  • In my opinion (and experience) guys who are less emotionally mature are more likely to get "freaked out" by their feelings. Same for women. By time you're in your 30s you should have a pretty decent handle on these things. I have found that "forcing distance" is an immature way to approach things. You should have open channels of communication and discuss things. "I know we're moving quickly, does it concern you?" etc. But "Uh, I like you TOO much so I'm going to push you away" is just going to lead to hurt feelings and confusion.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Sorry, I read a little more of your other discussion.

      For ME (take that for what it's worth) three hours away would NOT be a big deal. But my commute to and from work every day is close to that long. 3 hours would be VERY easy to say "I go out there, and two weeks later you come here". It's shameful to let such a measly distance come between the two of you if you both care about one another.

      Having said that, you shouldn't be the only one to make sacrifices to travel to him. If he's not willing to reciprocate that should be a red flag.

    • Show All
    • Sure it's possible if that's what he wants. But as I mentioned before, I question his emotional maturity based on what you've written here.

      I think what you *should* do is what your gut tells you to do. Women are incredibly intuitive and usually that nagging little voice knows long before you do what you should or shouldn't do. Whether it's telling you to get the hell out, or that he's falling in love with you. I would, however, been guarded. That's my advice. :-)

    • Maybe there's a chance that it will just take time for him to reach a level of emotional maturity.
      I just wish my gut had a straight answer this time. One day, it's - this is great, he really likes you and this will grow into more and then it's - he's not sure what he wants rn, don't wait for him. 😩
      Thank you very much for everything - it's much appreciated!

  • No, feelings for someone is amazing. It just sucks when they supress their feelings to avoid been seen as too eager. Like, comon people just stop fucking with each others minds and trying to make relationships a power struggle and just enjoy each others love for one another by being open and honest.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Not freaked out about the feelings,

    But we tend to do stupid things when we are in love, overthink, over analyze...

    1|0
    0|0
    • Any elaboration you'd mind sharing?

    • When a guy actually falls in love... He is scared of what you think of him...

      He is scared to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, give the wrong impression and will try his hardest for you to like him..

    • Will he do this even if she lives relatively far away?
      Perhaps it's just easier to pull away than to address something you're unsure about?

  • Oh yeah. Feelings like that do tend to be irrational and therefore scary, but in the future I wouldn't go so far as to suppress them. The past was another story...

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes, sometimes.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Interesting. How can a girl know whether this is the case? What actions/behaviors could let her know that's what's happened?

    • Show All
    • Do you mean freak out in a good way or a bad way?

    • @othertowns both. I wonder how often their feelings cause them to withdraw/distance themselves from the girl.

  • No , I am not Edward scissor hands

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes. All the time haha. You should hear the conversations I have with my roommate sometimes.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Good to know. Just curious as to how you guys tend to react when you realize you actually like a girl in a real way.

  • Oh yea 😅😅😅

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah sometimes

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not since high school since these days I know to avoid such things.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah so freaked out

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have a couple of times yeah

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes and I try and fight those feelings.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Why is that usually?

    • Show All
    • I'm glad to hear that - I think it's quite commendable to be in your position. I know things could always be worse; I try to remember that & be thankful for what I do have.

    • Yes, you have to be because no matter how hard we have, some poor soul has it far worse somewhere else. This is just dating, this is a game, there's people having their home destroyed by bombs and losing family members to mindless violence, or they have to walk 40 miles for water. But I'll quit while I am ahead, I don't want to come across as pretentious.

  • I make sure I keep them away, feelings for girls is a nono for me. :P

    0|0
    0|0
  • freaked out? I just avoid that person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • YES.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • All the time!

    0|0
    0|0
    • What have you experienced to lead to you this belief?

    • A little thing called life darling lol

    • Oh. Okay.
      I hadn't thought of that.

Loading...