Whats wrong with me? Unable to date?

I am 22 years old, and I have never had a relationship or even kissed a girl :(

Pretty Sad, I know... Maybe something is wrong with me? But what?

I am attractive, I see girls checking me out, I dress well and stay clean... I do have some confidence, not all the time... but I am not cocky or anything...

I work full time, I have money, a home, a nice car...

I am a little shy, a bit of an introvert.. but I still ask girls out, go on dates... but tend to get rejected a lot, or even led on on used (The first couple of times)

Also I really hate partying, clubbing, drinking ( I don't mind getting a drink at a bar or something, but I don't like getting drunk... I'd much rather explore nature or do something new)

I tried online dating, I try talking to people in public...

I just don't understand what is wrong with me?

I feel like I have to be this perfect chiseled guy, with a super charming personality, a really good job where you are the best at what you do, and have awesome hobbies...

I know I'm not perfect, but I thought at least one girl in this world would like me... I just need a chance for them to get to know me... I am "sweet" and "caring" even a girl called me "amazing" because she was having a horrible day and I made her feel so much better... but it didn't work out...

I really just don't understand... I am 22, I know I am not into partying... but at least I thought I might find a girl who isn't either... but for some reason those girls don't seem to like me back... and ironicly the party girls are always into me... Should I just force myself to club, drink and dance? I really hate it... and feel awkward...

What's wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you're just fine.
    You are happy with yourself, you know what you like, you have your independence, your self motivation and self supportive too. It could be you've not taken time to give yourself that chance to find that girl. For a 22 year old it sounds like you've come a long way and you should be proud to have those accomplishments you do.

    I think, you shouldn't worry so much about finding a girlfriend, If you really want to get out there and find a girl who's interested in you, don't go to the clubs. That is not your scene, and others can tell when you're uncomfortable.

    Take your time and develop friends with a few girls, friendship can grow into something more. Learn about what you want in a girl, and in a relationship, then get out there and try to find girls in your normal places. (those places that you're comfortable going to)
    Chances are you'll meet a great girl one day, and when you do find her the time will be right.

    Until then, you can try online dating to make friends, or ask your friends to spend time with their mutual friends. Always keep in mind to, that most importantly be happy with yourself. Even if you're not with someone right now, or you're having trouble finding that match, take it easy and don't put so much pressure on yourself. Life gives us things when its meant to. Have faith. :-]

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    • Thank you, Every thing you said is correct... Except the truth is I am not happy with life... I find my work really unfulfilling but it pays well... and I really just want that girl now... I thought I had found her, but turns out she was just misleading me :(

    • I'm sorry to hear that :/
      But definitely don't lose hope. You will find that one girl who you will be crazy about, and she'll feel the same way about you too.
      I hope she walks into your life soon. I know waiting can be difficult, though it's surely worth it sometimes.

      Stay happy, keep working on your life and your own happiness too. Love will find you when you least expect it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you want a REAL answer? I WAS you, and maybe I have some insight, but you might not like some of it! send me a PM, and let's chat a bit, OK?

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm curious how much we have in common! I don't drink or party either and like exploring nature. I do have a boyfriend right now, but I would still like to get to know you. PM me!

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    • Also, being 22 and without a girlfriend is not sad. Most girls (and guys too) are not mature until they are older (late 20s), so no need to rush it. There is nothing wrong with you. I've tried online dating myself, and it failed miserably, so I'm with you there. Do not start partying and drinking, it's a bad idea. Stick to who you are.

    • Yes I hate partying and drinking its not me... I just would like to date, I feel rushed too... I feel like everyone else has so much experience and I don't...

      I will send you a P. M :)

  • Finally, there's still decent guys out there that are my type but.. they're either taken, out of country or... just.. What's the nicer word besides old? Grown up, mature? I don't know..

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    • There are tons of "Nice Guys" out there... My friends are nice, I am nice... I have met a lot of nice guys... I guess it's just the type of people I end up hanging out with...

      I know nice girls exist too, but they are really hard to find...

      There are so many fake Nice Girls out there too, they seem really nice, proper, but behind the scenes they are manipulative and evil :( ... So most guys end up seeing this from a nice girl, and we keep gravitating to girls like this... So we start to think all of the girls are like this...

    • 3mo

      I'm one of the good gals that haven't dated that ended up being manipulated or catfished -.- The good decent ones are hard to find.

  • You're a GOOD guy and I'm sure there is a very good girl out there who will know how to appreciate well an opportunity with you trust me

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    • Thank you, I hope you are right!

      I always tell myself, the girl I end up with will be the luckiest girl in the world, she will be loved and happy like winning the lottery or something... I will love her, and she will love me :)

      I hope I do meet someone that is a good fit for me, but I guess time will tell... I think I am pretty good guy right now, but I was thinking maybe there is something wrong because I just don't have a girlfriend and have never been with anyone...

    • 3mo

      There's nothing wrong about this dude
      Don't change yourself you're good as a good guy

  • Please don't try partying just because you think you should. I made that mistake and it just got worse. What you describe sounds like you are what people call a "nice guy". Don't get me wrong, being a decent human being and being nice to others is a good thing (I was pretty much that person too). But I find often this means that people just show their nice side only out of fear of rejection (or else).

    You don't have to become a different person. You just have to become a happy and confident person. It might help thinking about whether you are just trying to please girls by doing or saying certain things (that never works out. ever). Also it could help you to try and find a sort of flirting more openly that you feel comfortable with. It often loosens the atmosphere and shows you are interested. After all, we all want to find someone we enjoy being with.

    Try and show different aspects of your personality.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Check out a site named Chateau Heartiste.

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