Am I being too hard on myself?

I fell hard for this girl I knew for a few months. It was the first time I ever fell for anyone. It was funny because for the first two months I knew her, I didn't think that much of her. It was after interacting with her for a while did I grow to like her a lot.

One day, I was suddenly like: "Wait a second, I can actually do something about this!"

And I asked her for coffee.

And after that I asked her on a date.

When classes were over, we separated and I thought I was going to see her again as I indicated to her that I wanted to hang out again. She seemed receptive at the time. But, long story short, it never came to fruition because she was always "busy" and made excuses and never actually offered any days to reschedule.

For the next three or four months, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wondered whether there was more I should have done, more that I could do...I was beginning to drive myself crazy. So recently I got into contact with her again, texted her a couple times, before I realized that this was never going to go anywhere. I know it's dumb and obvious, but it suddenly hit me at once that if she had any desire to talk to me for the last several months, she would have done so. And she didn't. So then I decided to stop texting her so I dropped our conversation in the middle of it.

It's been two days since and I'm a little angry at myself for essentially pining away most of the year for someone who had little care to think of me. There are moments where I can't believe I spent all that energy on her and then there are moments where I still can't stop thinking of her then I get angry at myself again.

As she was the first girl I took any action on, is this normal? Will things get better? Did I do right by dropping the conversation with her?

Updates:
I mean, I deserve someone who cares to keep in touch with me and thinks I'm valuable to maintain contact with, right? Why is it so hard to believe that?

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What Girls Said 1

  • You totally deserve someone who cares about you and likes you as much as you like them. I did the same thing over this guy I worked with and totally ignored any other attempts at guys trying to get to know me because of it. Eventually I realized that he wasn't worth my time and moved on. I regret wasting almost a year of my life on it, but I'm over it now. You need to do the same. Forget her and move on. Things will get better. If she is the first girl you have ever really tried to get, then don't worry about it. Things will get better for you.

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