Long Distance Relationships... Automatic Friend-Zoning? Training to Un -learn romance?

Me and my girlfriend have started dating for about 7 months, but we only met each other in real life twice. 1st time was about a week and the 2nd time was 22 days. I live overseas and we have our relationship entirely by voice and video chat. At first we had many fights caused by distance and just personal differences, but now we have smoothed out our relationship where we don`t fight anymore or hardly at all. It all was going well until I noticed as we talked everyday, twice a day like clockwork.

The absence of each others physical presence makes our relationship feel more like online penpals rather than bf/gf. We are going to meet up again in a few days after not seeing each other for about 3 months. We waited through what felt like hell but now chilled down to a pen pal relationship. After this trip we have to do it again... months of waiting again.

What can I do! It almost feels like we should do a temp break-up cause then we will just auto friend zone each other.. I am afraid when we meet in real life, we won't even want to touch each other because we just trained ourselves to not see each other as a romantic partner... I don't know sorry for all the info and crap wording.. any words of advice?


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you can't handle long-distance anymore, you should tell her that. That's why I would never choose to be in a long-distance relationship. I don't think I'd be able to endure that.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You could have an arrangement where you could see other people when not together or one of you could move overseas. I don't believe in ldr myself. Temptation is too strong and as we say in french:"Loin des yeux, loin du coeur". Far from the eyes, far from the heart. You will have to chooee between going full speed ahead and doing what has to be done for this relationship to have a chance or simply make this about being friends and have sex from time to time.

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    • I am very in control of my sexual urges.. actually I just don`t care about sex to be honest. I worded it kinda bad. The problem I have is that subconsciously, I am seeing my girlfriend less like a girlfriend and more like a normal friend. I think it has to do with the quote you gave me. Far from the eyes, far from the heart. Though I do plan on moving back to where she lives, or at least one state next to it. It just won`t happen for another 7 months.

    • I was never specific about sex. Sure, sex is part of it but I was also speaking of companionship, intimacy and everything else.

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