Is it bad to ask someone about their past relationship?

I've been talking to a guy getting to know him
and I kind of want to know why him and his ex broke up and if he still talks to her and hangs out with her. I also kinda want to know if he still loves her. He said that the break up wasn't too bad but it wasn't fun and that his relationships never really worked out and all so that's why he's just been single and focused on himself. People say that the past doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it all. Is this something I should ask him about or should I not bring it up at all?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I generally feel like the past should be off limits and forgotten about unless there is a reason to bring it up , maybe a funny story about how horrible an ex was or something but really who wants to hear about the ex?
    think if people had a dating " resume " like they have a resume for work , how disgusted we'd be to see who they had been with before and how long they had spent dating them , it be horrible to look at and see , this isn't stuff we need to know

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    • 3mo

      I'd love it if people came with a dating resume. I know I have a couple ex gf's that I wouldn't have even talked to if I'd known their past before we got together. Every time I hear the name of one of them, I feel an overwhelming desire to get an STD test done.

      But they'd just lie like they do about everything else. So maybe instead of a resume, there was a service like VagFax, where guys could learn that a girl has been gangbanged BEFORE they get involved with her.

      And that isn't even the most disgusting thing that that particular ho did...

      Fuck, VagFax REALLY needs to become a reality.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're not dating him then you don't get to ask him

    I think just talking to him and asking him makes you nosy

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What Guys Said 16

  • The past absolutely does matter. It gives you some insight into what kind of person he is and you need to know whether this past relationship still haunts him. Ask him if he feels comfortable talking about it.

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  • it's fair to ask

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  • There is nothing wrong if you ask him.

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  • No, not at all. But you should wait until you have established a good & trusting relationship w/new dude? Not as easy as it sounds. If he is a jealous type, It'll cause huge, probably insurmountable problems, and destroy the relationship. And if he's at all violent, it could be dangerous for you.

    And he shouldn't hang or text or talk with her, that's a huge red flag. He should be able to get over it and move on - done with her.

    Watch this dude and keep him at arms length, no pics, secrets SEX (BJ's included) etc.

    Doesn't sound like he's ready to commit to you. Too immature and not man enough to listen, confide\share, console, advise, encourage , fuck 'em. That's not what you want in your man.

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    • 3mo

      That's true. I'm not sure if he still talks to her or hangs out with her. They do live in
      the same area though. And you're right maybe I should ask that once we have a relationship established. Or if he brings it up. Why do you say I should watch him and that I shouldn't have any sex with him?

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    • 3mo

      He's not stalking his ex as far as I know. I was just wondering if he still talks to her and why they broke up. But you're very right. I agree with everything that you said. I am a prize to be won. Thank you very much =)

    • 3mo

      You are a prize to be won. Never settle.
      X

  • I don't see a problem

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  • Honestly, I don't think you should pry. If they want to tell you, they'll tell you. Asking why and if he still loves her might well freak him out and make him think you doubt his sincerity or commitment to you (which is kinda true)

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  • Most people should be prepared to discuss past relationships to a certain extent. If it is more from the perspective to learn why the relationship did work.

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  • Yes it is, because they are no longer together. Unless you want him judging you for all your past mistakes then you should leave it alone.

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  • Not unless yoyr dating him or super super close n the fact your asking thia tells me your not close to him.

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  • I don't usually ask, if they hang out with their ex though... REEEDDDD FFFLLLLAAAGGGSSS

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  • you can ask him if he's comfortable talking about it

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  • if it was me i would not ask just bc if im dating her or anything like that i dont want to mess up just bc i asked about there last relationship if you know what i mean but if she takes about it then it be different

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  • Yes it is bad to ask, if someone wants to disclose that kind of information then fair enough, but to ask someone just strikes me as being nosey.

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  • bad idea ! may stir up bad thoughts or violent flash backs, Just don't bother asking F**K the past

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  • Yeah, you don't wanna know a girl used to be a sloot.

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  • Yes. You need to demand full disclosure about every pussy his dick has ever been inside.

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What Girls Said 6

  • If the conversation goes there again you can try (don't push it), but I would wait until you know each other better. When you guys aren't just talking, but have gone out and been a thing for a little while. I don't really ask about sexual partner counts, but I think past relationship experiences can be good to delve into a bit. Just to understand where he's coming from.

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  • Couldn't hurt to ask. If they don't want to talk about it then don't continue asking but if you ask and he wants to tell them that's fine.

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  • Past is past. Being curious about others' past history (love affair etc) may end up in annoyance, hence chances for break up relations.

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  • Depends.
    Personally I wouldn't like if someone digs my past.

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  • Kinda, it's none of your business

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  • I don't think you should ask someone about their past relationship. It would just come off as nosy and rude. Maybe he doesn't want to be reminded. But if he does bring up his past relationship, I guess it would be okay to ask more questions about it.

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