Am I being too much of a pushover (guy friends)?

My girlfriend has lots of guy friends and looks forward to meeting new guy friends at college. I'm the first boyfriend she has ever had. She's the type who loves sports and talking about it.

It was a little tough in the beginning because of certain things she's done but we worked through it calmly. In one case, she's told me about this love she's had in the past for a guy and had his picture set as her phone lock screen. She would constantly say how cute he was. In another case, a guy she's dated (he didn't talk to her or respond to her text or calls after the date for a year or two) in the past tried to get back together with her and stated through texts that he wishes to kiss her during a date behind my back. Currently, she tells me that an old guy friend of hers likes to send flirty texts to her and she asked me if it was fine if she sent some back since she's done that before we started dating (I said that it was fine). Despite these issues, we talked through it and resolved the problems calmly.

I do trust her 100% and she has told me how much she loves me after 5 months of dating. After 3 months, she invited me to a family party to meet her parents and a lot of relatives. She always is telling me how much everyone likes me. She's currently away on vacation with her parents and we call one another every single day, as per her request. She always starts crying when I tell her how much I miss and love her.

She told me early in the relationship that she has a lot of guy friends and she would never cheat on me. My policy is that everything she does with these guys I wouldn't have a problem with, no matter what it was. Some are 1 on 1 meetings to sport events, movies, hanging out in her room, or just general meetings with her guy friends at college. I was bothered a little in the beginning but presently I really don't care anymore. If she were to do anything than I would just move on to someone else.

Am I handling this relationship properly?

Updates:
3mo I would also like to add about her texting habits. I don't ever look into any of my girlfriend's phones but sometimes whenever I move to sit next to her while she's texting she would sort of panic. I don't know if she's hiding something; it could just be nothing.

How do I handle this sort of situation? Do I ask her who she's texting? Or do I react the same way as I do when she's hanging out with guy friends in person (not caring).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It really is up to you to decide how you want to act in these types of situations. Some people wouldn't tolerate it others would. Personally I wouldn't care if she is regularly in situations where she could potentially cheat on me, yet doesn't.. I'd have a lot more confidence in her loyalty than if she was never in those situations because I didn't allow it. As far as texting goes, I think everyone likes to have a little privacy.. Although it is always nice to be completely open with each other.

    However with that being said, I personally would have an issue if she felt the need to flirt with other guys. I'm more than happy for her to have guy friends and want to hang out with them.. But flirting indicates something sexual behind it and I'm not really cool with that. And me being me, I'm not going to tell her she can't do it.. If she said she wanted to flirt with other guys I'd just say cool, I'll break up with you then to make it easier. I'm not interested in telling her she can't do what she wants or trying to change her, if she shows me she's not really committed.. I'm moving on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I am sorry, but yes. I think you are. She is probably hiding something.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, you are a pushover. And this is gonna backfire so hard because your girlfriend gives you so many red flags.

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  • You possibly will lost her, just like me.

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