Girls, should I disclose I am not very sexually experienced?

I have recently moved to Canada after living in an Islamic country. My dad is brown and my mom is European. My parents are atheists and I don't follow any religion. When I was 21, I went to Ireland to complete my Master's degree. I had a girlfriend that time but we broke up when I moved back to my home country (due to visa issues.) Though, I was not willing to leave Ireland because I find my home country environment very suffocating. Sex is forbidden in Islam. I am not sexually active for last three years because its forbidden to have sex in my home country before marriage and the punishment for premarital death sentence. It sounds ridiculous but this is true.
I want to start dating now. I am afraid if I tell the girl that I have not been active for last 3 years or I am not very sexually experienced, she would leave me and would not want to carry on the relationship. I am also nervous about my first sexual encounter after long abstinence. My question is should I tell the girl about abstinence or not?
I understand there is a stigma attached to this and guys who are not sexually active are a turn off for women. I am in a totally different situation. My circumstances were beyond my control.

PS: I am 25 years old, 5'9 height and good looking guy. I am graduate of a top European university. I am earning a salary above $60K. I speak in a mixed Irish, Pakistani and American accent and I don't eat curry or Asian foods. I maintain personal hygiene as opposed to other brown guys. I am providing this information to differentiate myself from other brown guys because many people might think of me as a typical creepy brown guy.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Whether the circumstances were within your control or not does not matter... to female. Take a man's height. A man has no control over this whatsoever but it will still be held against him. lol!

    So whether having little sexual experience was or was not in your control is not a factor. The only thing that matters is having little to no sex experience and is that a bad thing for a guy and if so, do you disclose it?

    My feeling about negative facts or perceived negative facts is you do not need to disclose until or unless the other party needs to know to make an informed opinion. If they do not need to know this information to make their decision about whether to engage, date, or marry you then it is fine to keep it to yourself.

    In this case, about little or no sex experience for a guy, I suggest men keep this to their self. However, if they had little or no sex experience because they were impotent or had physical trouble sexually, that they would need to disclose. That would be facts that the other party would need to make an informed decision. Or if someone wishes to continue to have no or little sex for other reasons, that I believe they would need to disclose since it is outside of what the other party is expecting.

    But if you just have little to no experience but you want more experience and you physically can have more, then do not disclose. That is my advice.

    Good luck to ya'. :)

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What Girls Said 5

  • Yes u should. How else are women gonna teach u or kow how to have sex with u?

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  • If she likes you it shouldn't matter to her :)

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  • How long have you been dating her?

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    • 3mo

      Around 8 months. It was one year Master's program and I broke my knee while playing soccer so I was not dating for remaining four months lol.

    • 3mo

      You might just want to have a sex conversation with her in general and mention the virgin situation to her. But don't feel pressured to have it, if you're not ready she should respect that and if she isn't you should respect that. If you both are ready, a sex conversation is needed so there is mutual understanding about what you both want.

  • You should tell her. Before my boyfriend was with me he was abstinent for three years. Believe me, having sex is like riding a bike, you don't forget. My boyfriend was honest, never pressured me and when I was ready he showed me everything. Be honest and I'm sure it won't affect anything at all.

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  • Not a turn off as long as you disclose not when it's happening and you act confident and act like you know what your doing. Fake it until you make it in my opinion. Goodluck!

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