Boyfriend works with and hangs out with his ex. Should I be concerned?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and I always knew he was working with his ex. He never misses an opportunity to hang out with her and the rest of his work friends and also talks to her everyday. He also told me the other day that he was a bit upset when he found out that his ex girlfriend was dating someone else now but he hasn't told her about us.
should this behavior concern me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he still had feelings for her and didn't move on.

    There's a black and white decision to me made though first:
    1) Keep him.
    2) Drop him.

    If you want #1, he might be able to lose those remaining feelings for his ex and start to have them only for you. It's probably good that she got a boyfriend.

    But it does suck to be a girlfriend who is not the exclusive source of romantic feelings in a guy.

    In any case, I think that's your choice. If you go with dropping him, that's that. If you go with keeping him, it doesn't help to confront and argue if you want to pull him closer and closer to you and further and further away from her.

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    • 3mo

      Again if you want to keep him, you cannot argue with someone to develop only feelings for you while losing them for someone else. You can only attract him by being the greatest girlfriend he ever had, at which point he will develop the strongest feelings for you and no one else.

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    • 3mo

      Afraid I don't know about timing and everything. That's going to vary per individual. But sometimes heartbreaks don't even revolve around that other person. Sometimes they're just like a blow to our self-esteem. Her getting a boyfriend might have just kind of torn open a wound related to self-esteem and reminding him that she chose another over him. It's not necessarily always as simple as him wanting to be with her again.

      Aside from that he's being so honest and straightforward with you, and you mentioned he never compares you to her in any way. He sounds like a pretty decent guy as far as you've described, and perhaps you're already his #1.

      If you care for him I'd recommend a patient approach and one that shows him that ex was not worth his time in comparison.

    • 3mo

      thank you again :)

What Guys Said 1

  • He still has feelings for her. Your relationship with him is likely doomed.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yes, it honestly sounds like he is not over her.

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  • Well yes! He shouldn't be bothered she's moved on. And the fact he's hid you from her.

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  • Nope

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    • 3mo

      so you mean this behaviour shouldn't bother me?

    • 3mo

      No not at all. It wouldn't bother me. But the thing is my boyfriend doesn't have an ex. I'm the only girl he's ever dated. If there just friends that's cool but if they're kissing and touching and stuff like that then u should worry

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