Why do you think that some people who put themselves out there, still never find a boyfriend or gf?

It is a peculiar but true thing that some people do not acknowledge but there are people who want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend and they are surrounded by people, they go to events, hang out, etc. Yet they still never find anyone. It is a harsh reality


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Most Helpful Guy

  • They could have unrealistic standards/uncommon preferences, or be very unattractive (physically or through behavior), or just plain unlucky. Not everyone gets a happy ending or they have to wait may years, sh*t happens, the universe doesn't care...

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 17

  • That definitely can happen - but there's usually a reason.

    For guys, it's usually that they're either shy (afraid to communicate) or socially awkward and don't "get" social ques or are unknowingly and unintentionally rude or threatening because they just don't realize that their behavior makes people uncomfortable. And it only makes those things worse when that person acts way too desperate and eager way too early.

    For girls, it's usually also shyness OR it's a lack of willingness to take any initiative of her own. In my experience, there are about 10-20% of guys who have the confidence to approach girls and don't get bothered by rejections (because they're successful enough that a rejection doesn't mean a lot to him). For the other 80%, it takes a LOT of courage to work up the nerve to risk a rejection by asking a girl out or by showing her obvious interest - and if the girl doesn't respond back and show interest if her own (because she's shy, oblivious, or because she believes she shouldn't have to because 'that's the man's job"), then the guy will assume the girl isn't interested and he'll move on.

    I tell people this: if you are "putting yourself out there" and still aren't attracting other people, then you probably need to do some work on yourself first. You may need some counselling and maybe some therapy to help you find your confidence and perhaps some training on social etiquette and expectations. You have to kill off all *desperation* and adopt an attitude that just says "I'm just here to have fun, and maybe I'll invite you along."

    Everyone has baggage, but if you're dragging around a big-rig trailer of baggage with you, you can't expect other people to want some of that. You owe it to the people you are dating to be mentally and emotionally healthy...

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  • It is a very harsh reality I agree, but in my opinion, what you are describing I have heard from others before; especially recently. Part of the issue is psychological. It is like watching a pot boil. Some state that if you watch the pot, the water takes longer to boil. It isn't true, but psychologically people believe it is true. It is similar to manifest destiny and trying to hard to make something happen. Individuals need to be themselves and not put themselves out there to what others may have told them to believe in who they are, instead of just being themselves and relaxing. I have found that when people try too hard to achieve a goal, it takes longer, and sometimes feels like an impossible task. Best advice is to relax. Enjoy life as much as you can, because it is too short to stress over the little things. When the time is right, a person can meet someone special, and it may not be their fated mate in life or soul mate, but then again it might be. The point is to not try so hard. Try to 'go with the flow' a little bit in this life and take it easy. Don't stress that what you are wanting is not happening within the timeframe you would like for it to occur. If you try this, you might find before you know it, the water as boiled... or... as in your question you'll find that boyfriend or girlfriend you've been seeking. Bottom line.

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  • Depends...

    -Are they approaching people and constantly getting rejected?

    Probably has to do with their appearance or the way they carry themselves in conversation.

    -Are they being approached by people but doing the rejecting?

    Then they are looking for their type in the wrong places or the type of person they would be insterested in is just statistically hard to come by (ie high standards).

    -Are they neither approaching nor the one being approached?

    Could be one or both of the above explainations.

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  • I know it sounds cliche but they just haven't met the right person yet. However, their own standards come into play too, if you're pick you gotta be patient too.

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    • 3mo

      that's exactly it

    • 3mo

      man you hit the nail right on the head

    • 3mo

      True. But I'd say more selective as opposed to picky. Like you don't have to be super picky but still have standards.

      Like a woman doesn't have to be knockout beautiful but at least somewhat attractive otherwise kissing/sex would be awkward. Same goes for common interests. The girl doesn't have to be a mirror image of yourself but if you don't have anything in common then you'd have nothing to talk about.

  • Either they don't encounter the right person, or the image/signals they are sending out is not appealing to others.

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  • It could be bad luck, lack of opportunities, finding the wrong people, the fact people multi date from dating sites, or sometimes just having a hard time finding someone where the interest is mutual.

    There have been times where the only ones into me at the time I wasn't into and vice versa. While it's nice to have a relationship, you should never settle with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship.

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  • Because the internet has made people far more picky. They look online and see so many different types of people and personalities, then come to find out that out of 7 billion people, they find maybe 20 or so that they really like and are almost perfect for them, however, it is extremely unlikely for those people to happen to live close enough to actually make it happen.

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  • World workings, environment (cultural, religious), at some degree person's own behavior.

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  • This is truer of guys than girls, but it is an inevitable consequence of mate competition.

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  • It's because they don't actually show their interest, so no one ever reciprocates.

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  • Because everyone is too picky and yet gives up too quickly. I'm 19 and am still searching for a personality to click with mine, yet a body and fave anywhere abobe 4/10. Still haven't given up, but will not be too picky about looks when she shows up.

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  • It's usually because they need to lose some weight or they have some weird haircut.

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  • It should be possible to find someone. there's so many people.

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  • Welcome to my life...

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  • Don't remind me </3 lol

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  • they fail to adjust maybe, some people are always making the same mistakes

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  • I don't understand it either

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    • 3mo

      for me I am a good person that will do anything for my girlfriend and some women are always thinking just because I have mood swings that I'm the worst person to get with yeah I bitch and moan but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person

    • 3mo

      and goes on about he has a attitude problem I don't want to get with him

What Girls Said 1

  • No. People like that usually get a partner pretty quickly, in my experience.

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