How to stop comparing Girls? Can't find anyone?

I fell in love with a girl and things did not work out... I guess she was my first, I put her on a pedestal, and she was perfect... She is everything I wanted in a girl... and she broke my heart :( and took my confidence too I guess

The problem is now all the girls I date and talk to, I compare to her... No one seems to be better than her, they are not as pretty, not as funny, not as whatever as her...

Even if they are really nice, I guess I feel like she will always be better than me and anyone else I date...

How do I fix this comparison? I know all girls are unique in there own way, but I feel like she was perfect and no other girl will ever live up to her standard...

And I meet really nice girls as well, but I never end up pursuing them because I feel this way...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Take some time off dating. The reason you compare them is because you still like her. You've answered your own question she took all your confidence! you shouldn't force yourself to date when your heart is not in it... when you have some of your confidence back you'll know you're ready. By all means don't force yourself. The best you can do is develop a friendship with a girl and start from there. Don't expect too much from them or you'll be too desapointed.
    What is something you disliked about this girl you feel in love with? think about it and make a list. You are glorifying her because of your feelings not because she was perfect in every way. She's human and she is imperfect like you and me. If you don't know her imperfections then you were too blind.
    As much as I hate being the asshole here you're going to have to demolish that pedastal of yours and never use it again. Not even with the next girl you decide to date. Why? because moving on becomes nearly impossible and because you're holding on to an image of perfection, and its not healthy. I will grant you that no one ever comes close to her because everyone is different.
    Here is what I would do; try and focus on recovering your confidence and spend time alone with yourself. This will only be temporary , but please try not to date anymore girls. I will provide you with a link that will direct you to site that has the best advice that I have ever read. http://tinyurl.com/d2ulpyj
    You're going to be ok :)

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    • 3mo

      disappointed*

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    • 3mo

      Your feelings are only natural. I know for a fact that when the time comes you will move on with time. Good Luck! :)

    • 3mo

      I really hope I can move on... I feel like crying...

What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds to me like she still holds a very special place in your heart. Stop trying to find a replacement, for no one will ever be able to fill that void. That puzzle piece that is missing, is only fit for the shape of her. Is there no hope?

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    • 3mo

      Only she can fill it?

    • 3mo

      Sounds that way to me. You're looking for something comparable, it's just not possible. You can not replace a spirit.

      Again, is there no hope?

    • 3mo

      I really don't know...

      I was stupid, I was really indirect about stuff, shy, anxious around her... I feel like she, or any girl would find my behavior super unattractive...

      I did ask if she was into me, she said we were only friends...

      We just ignore each other now...

  • So creepy, but you sound like this guy I know named Luke.

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    • 3mo

      Eventually you will get over it and the feeling like you will never love another person will drift away.
      That famous saying where it talks about time being all healing and shit? Yeah, well it is true.
      Part of a little poem I wrote awhile ago:

      "Perhaps you may not believe me now,
      but eventually you'll know somehow.
      Even if it can drive you mad, sometimes even a bit sad.
      One thing I have no doubt, love is like a little sprout.
      Treat it with care, give it air.
      Some sunlight, water and a bit of attention.
      Then you'll have love with no tension."

      Good luck, whoever you are. xx

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    • 3mo

      and eventually you will be.

    • 3mo

      I hope so, I really can't even put into words how I feel...

What Guys Said 0

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