Why do some people pull away after the relationship starts to get deeper?

I dated thus guy for 5months and I fell in love with him. He did evertything for me and last month told me that he fell in love with me. But now he ended it because he's 'not ready' for a relationship and because everything is moving too fast. He blocked me everywhere and yesterday posted a picture on instagram with another girl, which he knows I don't like. How can he just fall out of love, simply because he isn't ready? Love doesn't just fade away over night.. and take into consideration that he truly did (does?) care for me. Thanks :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There can be many reasons for that:

    1. Their own insecurities, I mean you may not be doing anything to make them insecure but they start getting insecure because they are very attached to you.

    2. Common reason, they are afraid of getting hurt.

    3. They might think that one day you may like someone else, love someone else and may cheat on them.

    Yes, you're right. Love doesn't fade away overnight, I mean it shouldn't fade away but it's also true that people can fall out of love in a relationship and so love can fade away also.

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    • 3mo

      do u think he'll come to his senses over time?

    • 3mo

      It's possible not sure though

Most Helpful Girl

  • Many Toms Today get what I Always refer to a s"Cold Duck Feet" when things are Seemingly Going way too fast and Suddenly... Not such a Blast. They then Distance themselves, maybe even Disappear into the Murky waters from which They have come from and Then... He blocked me everywhere.
    I find that the Guy you had Been with for '5 months,' Got more than Duck Feet but Dick Feet in this Defeat.
    However, from now On... Buyer Beware here, dear. Don't be so Quick to Wear your Heart at First on your Sleeve, Should he Leave.
    let this Little Lesson in Love and in Life be one that you will Learn By and cry by.
    Good luck and Hoping you Feel better Soon.. You deserve Better. xx

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    • 3mo

      Thanks for the Like, hun. xx

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    • 3mo

      Yes I know what you mean... though this is so hard for me... I never cared about any guy as much as I care about him..

    • 3mo

      Okay, well, it seems that the ball is still being Dribbled then on your own Part and in your Heart.. Try playing Hard to get and let him know YOU are Chase and a Challenge but no Fool.. Let him contact you then, I agree. xx

What Guys Said 7

  • He cares for you but something scared him. He might have been hurt by a past lover or someone said something to him to really scare him. He cares for you but right now his fear is overriding his feelings for you. I guess just hang on until he opens up and tells you or after a bit give up on him if he won't talk with you.

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    • 3mo

      after he posted this picture with this girl i texted him with a screenshot of the picture saying that it took me a while to realize how things are but that i finally did and that i wish him the best of luck and that he never calls me or texts me again. and he texted back saying that he understands and hopes that i won't tell anyone anything that he told me (he trusted me with his secrets) and that he wishes me the same. and that i shouldn't worry about him texting me.. that he'll respect my wishes. he acts like he doesn't care.

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    • 3mo

      maybe... though now he followed me back on instagram, added me on snapchat and unblocked me on facebook. what's up with that?

    • 3mo

      Maybe he changed his mind? His sister could have messed with his accoun? He pressed the wrong button? He wanted to see how you would react? Sorry I'm not really sure. I'm not to good at guessing social media behavoir. The girl that I currently like and her friends are playing mind games with me on social media so, I don't really know much about base line behavoir for it.

  • To be honest...
    He probably found someone else during your relationship and made the choice between you or her.
    If they are in fact dating in the first place..
    He's a twat either way.

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  • because he knows more likely someone will now get really hurt.

    he can bail out and avoid too much of that

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  • sounds like a fear of commitment

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  • Fuck around

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  • They don't like being vulnerable

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  • Cuz too deep and u will be preggo and most guys dont want that

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What Girls Said 12

  • Some guys feel that girls will never genuinely like them so when feelings start to creep up they'll admit it, but at the same time they'll start backing away. The thing is that these guys are the good guys that most of us girls just used for our benefit and simply ignored and this reallllyyy changes them possibly into even fuck boys.. so as it goes on when they do meet the girl that does treasure them it makes them go into a panic mode, like is this girl going to hurt me like the rest? oh man I've fallen for her already though.. so what they tend to do is back away as soon as they can and in that process to make themselves feel secure and good they'll tap the next thing they find in order to make them feel more secure about themselves and not be freaked out since they dont have any feelings involved in this new thing. Hope what i said helps you understand.. and p. s. the love hasn't faded away he's put it aside because he's scared. I suggest dont pursue him, let him be, when he realises what he's lost he'll come back, and if he doesn't well you have that option to take things from this experience to your next possible serious relationship.

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  • There is a major difference between love and falling in love. He is just being honest and he knowsthat going by feelings instead of using your head will lead you into trouble. He was in love you but doesn't know if he loves you as a person. Falling in love is immaturity , because when one gets bored with the relationship and no longer feels attracted to you , they fall out of love. Love doesn't work that way. Real love is action and not so much of words and an emotion. Therefore he did the right thing by breaking up with you. Because had he stayed with you, he would be leading you on because he doesn't even love you in a deeper level, and that would have been worse.

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    • 3mo

      But still it makes no sense to me... What we had really was something special...

  • He didn't end anything because he "wasn't ready." He ended it because the other girl entered the picture. I find too many people hide behind that excuse and 99% of the time it is just that; a lame excuse used by one party to escape or the other party to not be as hurt by the first party leaving.

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  • I think he likes u... he isn't ready for commitment... if we truly love someone a small thing like commitment issues we can change it... that is love... being with the person we love is more important that commitment issues... I guess he just liked u n before it went to the point of love he wanted to leave so that he doesn't hurt either of u too much... i think u should either move on or just give it time... I was in a similar situation too recently n when I moved on he realised that he was gonna lose me n then nowadays when we speak he is talking about family n kids so he could change... u just need to give the right trigger.. best of luck :)

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  • He still loves you, I would think. He is probably just scared by how hard he was falling for you, or how deep the feelings were that he was developing. A guy once confessed to me that it was a matter of feeling like he was losing control. He couldn't cope with the idea of possibly someday being run by his emotions, so he bolted. :/ Your situation could be something similar?

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    • 3mo

      Maybe... After I sent him a long text and saying goodbye and that he never calls me or anything again he followed me back on insta, added me on snapchat and unblocked me on facebook..

  • I just shared an opinion about a similar question haha. But maybe he just lost interest :/ I used to use the saaame kind of excuses like: i don't feel I'm ready for a relationship, I want to focus on me, etc ( which were actually true). Sometimes it happens! 😞

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    • 3mo

      i thought about that too.. but it's soo weird.. he did everything for me.. he even came to this city where I was staying with my friends and it was far away from where he was.. just to see me.. he couldn't just loose interest over night..

  • He's playing around... those are just excuses for him to run away ( not ready blabla)... he don't deserve you.

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  • Could be fear (like fear of commitment), anxiety, insecurities, or maybe they don't feel ready. Some people might not want to go deeper, so they don't get hurt.

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  • He didn't fall in love with you.. he made that excuse to get out of the relationship. I'm sorry this happened.. he sounds like a dick😕

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  • guys will loose their feelings and interests overtime. the same cannot be said for girls

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  • Looks like he got with the other girl and was keeping you hanging around until he did?

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  • That's fucked up, this happened to my best friend. Some guys are afraid of commitment, I don't understand it

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