Is this normal... I grew up very strict?

I grew up in a eritrean family. Single mom who never remarried... she never used to socially motivate us and she used to belittlle our looks. She never allowed us to make memories and she never showed any love... relationship and sex or love were not discussed at the table... till this day our siblings dont know how to show love and we only discussed money or school or work... for years i thought that was the most important thing and i never even had a boyfriend at 24... i feel very weird and i always used to work but had no idea how t make friends... i thought family was ths most important thing... how can i ever heal from this? I barely have any friends...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are actually in that process, although maybe it is painful right now. If this was an injured limb, it would go through the same process of inflamation, scaring, healing.

    What's good is you realiae there was a problem, a big void and gap in your life... love. It is what we all really want as human beings and was absent. Likely your mother passed onto you her emotional wounds... insecurities and fears. Now you are finally waking up and seeing all that is wrong with your life and her... normal process... all our parents are imperfect in one way or another. In your case, its maybe bad, but could have been a lot worse.

    The Bible basically defines love, read about Jesus and the new testament. I don't know anywhere else it is really taught as a practice. You could read books.

    A long journey is made by doing some dreaming, some planning, then taking a step... followed by another step. A little at a time!

    Normal? We didn't talk about love or sex at the table or in the home, but I had two decent parents that stayed together and my mom was awsome, albeit she was very scared of the world... lot of fear.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a friend who's parents are from there and she wasn't allowed to date or have a cell phone. I lost contact with her because I felt that she didn't want to be bothered so I stopped trying to make an effort to contact her.

    Anyways try to hang out with your classmates or co-workers outside of class or work so eventually you'll be friends

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What Guys Said 3

  • The best way to discover how to make and keep friends is to achknolege that family is importiant , but they aren't the center of your universe. Allow yourself the ability to experience all the things you grew up being taught were taboo or just wrong. You are a woman and not a puppet , live a little and allow your self the freedom to decide for yourself and not just let someone else's word be the end of the conversation

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  • Well, given your situation it's understandable.

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  • It will be okay. Just take small steps talk with anyone in the supermarket... cash lady or anything. Slowly with time you will get confidence and talk to more and more people.
    Just dont stop trying and in a 1 you will be a new person.

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What Girls Said 0

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