I can't have a boyfriend until I am 18?

I'm 15. I can't date until I'm eighteen (overprotective parents). This rule was strongly established when I started Kindergarten. My parents have jokingly and seriously reminded me of this rule ever since. I also can't have a boyfriend, have a phone, use social media, have sleepovers, talk to guys over the internet (unless they're sure that they're just my friend), go to (regular family PG birthday) parties w/o supervision, etc. This lifestyle has been very difficult at times, but I've learned to just roll with it. My mother came up with this rule because she chose to date starting her senior year. I turn 18 in Jan. of my senior year, which will leave me 3 months to get a date for senior prom. Much less junior prom.

I am a peaceful person, so I rarely questioned it. I'm a Christian, make the honor roll, and I'm a respecting, loving person.

Only once did I (partially) contradict the rule by talking to another boy over e-mail. It didn't even get serious. I turned the boy down when he asked me out. My parents found out, and they freaked. Never in my life have I felt more guilty than I did that day. I cried through the rest of the night. I never have talked to him since. I got over him after a while.

Now I'm a sophomore. This rule seems to haunt me more and more these days. I've had a few guys take an interest in me, but they move on quickly when they hear of the rule. I've always been a romantic, and usually reading romance novels will get me through my day. Usually. Over the past few years, there hasn't been a guy take a real interest in me.

Lately I have become depressed. Even if I fall in love with a guy, it doesn't matter. I will have to cut things off. Why even bother? I envy happy couples, love songs, all of it.

Even when I do become 18, how will I ever adjust? Dating is a foreign language to me, and I'm terribly shy. Even kissing scares me a bit. What if I do everything wrong?

Please send advice. Thanks so much.

God Bless You


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is terrible parenting. Not just the christianity part (do yourself a favour and THINK), but the only thing they are achieving is that you are either going to have relationships in secret (because eventually you will no longer be able to whitstand temptation), or the moment you are turning 18 you're going to turn into a total slut because you have so much catching up to do (and I mean "slut" in the least offensive way possible).

    I get it though, they want you to focus on school, because that is important. The part where they fail is that it was their job to 1. teach you that school is important and 2. be able to prioritise your life by yourself

    Overprotectiveness causes more harm than it does good.

    All that being said, I was also scared of dating when I was your age (for completely different reasons but never mind that). My first date was when I was 18. I'm still alive and well. It hasn't killed me.

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    • 3mo

      also please dont say "ive become depressed"

      unless your psychologist told you that you have depression, you probably dont and as such you probably dont even know what it is

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your parents mean well, but you shouldn't treat your child like a prisoner. You shouldn't cry because you have an interest in boys! That is perfectly normal and they have no right to shame you for it. Honestly if I were you I was just do a lot behind their backs

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What Guys Said 2

  • Your parents are just looking out for you and protecting you the best way they know how. Dear Lord I would hate to raise a daughter in this society today, hats off to the people who are able to do so!
    I know it's not easy on you, but they are doing so out of love. You will adjust fine. When you can date at 18 you will not be socially stunted or backward. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you will catch on. I'll be rooting for you.

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  • your parents are fucking pathetic and they seriously need to get a life and let you grow up, dating is a normal healthy thing in life and they are preventing you from finding love. and there pathetic ways are making you feel guilty in love and relationships. and it will carry on later in life, so you should date anyways and tell them its your life to choose, not theirs. put your foot down girl. and if i was in your position thats what i would do.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Look, at 15, it is actually better to not date.

    "Dating is a foreign language to me..."
    That mindset is not good honestly.
    You are making things hard for yourself, not your parents.

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  • Sounds like mine. It's really not that bad because dating in high school sucks

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