What are some helpful ways to get rid of my relationship anxiety?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months... our 1 year is coming up and everything is going great. We both see a future together and he likes to talk about us growing old and our kids etc etc. We even talked about wedding stuff.

Unfortunately I am dealing with intense relationship anxiety. I've always had it but now it is just getting worse as our relationship becomes stronger and longer. I won't tell him my fears and worries because im afraid he will be annoyed or won't want me any longer.

I guess because of my past relationship I am scared. My ex boyfriend told me he loved me and then randomly texted me one day saying he doesn't want me anymore, and that he was sorry for making it seem like he loved me when he never did... then 3 weeks later he has a new girl who he probably knew while we were together.

There are days where my current boyfriend won't text back because of whatever reason (work or with friends) and I will internally freak out or I will think and wonder of he truly loves me like he says. Or if im a burden to him because he is 4 years older, has an appartment, is out of college and has a car. I live with my parents, and am in college, and don't have a car yet. He live 39 mins away from me and is constanly surrounded but women who have good jobs and have their lives together.

I want to stop this thinking before I ruin everything. The thing is, he makes me feel extremly loved always tells me he's in it for the long haul and that he's not going anywhere. ... I realize I have nothing to worry about but I still worry when we are appart. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I want to believe relationship can work out and i want to love without worrying.

How can I stop thinking he's gonna leave and play with my heart? I need some sense talked into me by people who have or have not gone through this.

Updates:
3mo Thank you everyone for the very helpful words. XD Taking the time to try and help me out means a lot. I am going to take up some dancing and or baking lessons to fill my time away from school, work and the boyfriend.

Also, Im planning on openly sharing some of my feelings to my him this week. Wish me luck!

4|7
30|45

Most Helpful Guy

  • "The first step is to TALK to him about this. No matter what the outcome of that conversation is, you will inevitably feel better after it's over."

    I don't mean to plagiarize, @Fathoms77 but this is clearly the answer.

    Asker, you are not only risking your relationship with your insecurity, but also by concealing it from your boyfriend. While it's still your burden to deal with, he CAN help you if he knows what's going on, and that will make it easier for you to carry the load.

    But you also need to seek some professional help, because this is a serious problem - but a TREATABLE one - and your whole life will be better if you learn how to manage your insecurity in a healthier way, and professionals can help you with that.

    The other thing that will help is working hard in improving your life situation - which you are already doing by going to college. Hopefully you have a real, realistic plan for a post-college career and aren't just taking some liberal arts degree, but you need to do well in school and prepare for post-graduation - internships or job-seeking or whatever.

    It's okay that you don't have a lot of money, live at home and don't have a car right now - TONS of college kids don't have those things either; it's normal. But if you're going to make those sacrifices, you need to make it WORTH IT by doing well in meaningful coursework and having a plan to use your degree in a lucrative career when you're done. Doing THAT will really be a boost to your self-esteem and self-worth, too.

    8|5
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Thank you :) ill probably be in school for another 2 years so have a ways to go.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am 35 and still suffer from this. I literally made my boyfriend walk out on me because of my insecurities. I've tried to pinpoint over and over where my lack of fear and trust have come from and I'm still working on that. It's good that you understand where yours comes from and I also understand that it's hard to get out of your own head. Over thinking and causing issues that aren't even there or should never had become an issue in the first place is a sure way to lose someone that seems to totally be about you. Do you know how hard that is to find? Think about the women he's worked with and remember he probably worked with them before you came along and he still chose you, that says something. It's important to have trust and communication in a relationship to make it work and there are ways you can talk about your feelings with him without insult him or fearing he isn't going to accept your illness and ditch ya. If he wants you, he will want to do anything to keep you. Stay positive and you will get the reassurance and security that you need. I wish you all the luck.

    3|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Awesome advice thank you! Yea im so bad with overthinking. :/

What Guys Said 44

  • So I've seen this and it is quite destructive. Shame, Fear, and Anger are core human emotions... they are prevalent in relationships. Jesus replaced these with Love and Faith and Hope... thus part of the value believing in him offers. that is if you believe in that (God/Jesus saved you), you have nothing to fear or be ashamed of, so you are freed from those controlling emotions... make some sense?

    There is work to do to address your fears. I'd suggest getting a counselor to talk to and process/work out your emotions. I would tell your boyfriend that you have this issue and that you are working on it and to be patient. You will have to trust... if you can get through this, your relationship and you will be stronger.

    there are no guarantees about your boyfriend, and there are no guarantees about anything. That is the problem with this world... it is not stable, thus again the value of God in your belief system. If choose not to believe in God for whatever reasons, ok, then just realize you need to find the root source of your fear (it sounds like prior boyfriend, but may go deeper than that, and process those emotions... realize they are controlling you and set them free). There are techniques to do that...

    Good job recognizing something that was trashing you and him... isn't it amazing how that old junk will trash a relationshipa nd person. You will see that all over this web site... over and over...

    2|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      My boyfriend and I are both christian. I agree with your post 100% . Thank you!

  • Well, first of all, there's nothing wrong with you. :)

    The first step is to TALK to him about this. No matter what the outcome of that conversation is, you will inevitably feel better after it's over.

    5|3
    0|0
    • 3mo

      :) I will talk to him this week, thank you!

  • well i think the first thing you need to do is stop thinking about your ex's actions in regards to your current relationship. your boyfriend is different than him and he should be treated as a unique individual

    i think you should tell your boyfriend about your anxieties. it will help him better understand you and he may be able to help work on relieving some of them.

    just explain to him that you have these anxieties. explain where they stem from and tell him you know that some of them are irrational but you want him to understand why sometimes you may do certain things and also make it clear that you hope maybe he can help you in relieving or addressing some of the anxieties you have

    2|0
    0|0
  • First things first - LEAVE earlier experiences out of the current one :) history is like manure, as long as it's buried; it vitalises the tree. Leave it out in the open (present) it will only make the tree itself stink.

    Does it cross your mind that everything you are thinking is triggered by your own low esteem & insecurity?

    This isn't something me or anyone else can help you with. You are the only person that can help in this case.

    Work on yourself, your confidence etc

    Now the HOW of it
    1. Stop thinking in terms of possessing someone
    2. A relationship is about 2 people getting along together WHILE letting each other live & let live
    3. A relationship isn't about earning brownie points even if just inside our own head
    4. Remember even twins are born with separate bodies & minds
    5. There's a lot more but for now forget about all that, the idea is you need more confidence in yourself & your own independence which is lost somewhere even if you don't realise it

    2|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Thank you for liking my opinion young lady <3 :)

    • 3mo

      Exactly. Yes, thoughts do get somehow distorted after a hurtful relationship.

    • 3mo

      That is no one's fault young lady but end of the day it's within & inside you to drive it 😊

  • The thing I want to mention is that you should tell him that you have never been in a relationship this long before. Not that you fear his is going to leave you but just that you are in "uncharted territory".

    Second is that the more you open up to this guy and the more he responds the better off you will be, because then you will know how committed he is to you. And if he is not then it's better to know sooner and see it coming than to be blindsided. Also know how he reacts to when you feel stressed will help, what happens IF/When you guys get married and you have a kid. What is he going to be like and will he be the person you NEED in something like that?

    I hope this helped, let me know if I can be of further help. Always happy to help.

    4|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      You were a lot of help. Yes, Id rather deal with this now, then dealing with it if we were married. :)

    • 3mo

      Glad to help. Let me know if you have more questions about what I typed or other things you thought of.

  • I would suggest couples counselling. The point of him being there with you is not to suggest that he is doing something wrong or causing the problem, but that he can help you to overcome this problem. But, by all means, talk to him. Relationships that depend upon keeping secrets always fail.

    2|1
    0|0
  • I agree with @MrOracle that you need to talk to him about this but first you might want to find a good therapist you like and trust to discuss it first. Your anxiety is based in your experience and you recognize that it's debilitating so you're very well positioned to make progress overcoming in with some help.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I would talk to him just so you can vent. I would also recommend rational thinking. Basicly you start to get an idea which then gets bigger and bigger until it turns into anxiety so next time rationalize it away. He is going to break up with you? Why? has he done so in the past? No. Has he any reason to do so? No, then their is no reason for him to break up with you. etc etc. Just essentially argue against the paranoia, by simply pointing out why it makes no sense you can nullify the fear.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Though CERTAIN things are better left unsaid (keeps the relationship interesting at the very least) You should share a majority of what you're feeling or your fears when someone says that you have to take into account if you're being used or not see how well he takes to you refusing sex, things like that, I know it's hard to change habits but... no two people are the same, when we talk about marriage and stuff like that it's often fluff to see how well we mesh or to get closer to you (manipulative but very genuine) A lot of relationships deepen with mutual understanding, you will become so close if you know each others minds he likely has the same anxieties but he seems to feel you're well worth the risk (Wish I Could hear about it when he uses that line in bed xD), I suggest you don't marry immediately give it more than two more years at least, if you can happily or at least contently make it through a long period of time and can safely confront each other about your concerns even if it results in argument try to come back and see where you're both wrong or right, don't hold back on your own love of them even if you think it may annoy them he'll tell you it does if it does (in as soft a way possible) You can't hold back once you're in a good relationships Force yourself and tell him what you're doing and why it's hard... he'll appreciate it if i'm wrong send someone to kick my ass.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Thank you very much :)

  • Start with not bottling it up but with telling your boyfriend about it and how you felt then and now. It will help him to respect your feelings.

    3|1
    0|0
  • " I won't tell him my fears and worries because im afraid he will be annoyed or won't want me any longer." < There's your problem. You don't trust him because of your past bad relationship (which is understandable) but a relationship that's not built on trust is doomed for failure. Don't be afraid to tell him anything. He's your boyfriend after all. If he truly loves you, he'll learn to understand you. As for your relationship anxiety, one way to break it is for you to have more confidence in yourself. If he DOES leave after you telling him, well, fuck him he wasn't worth it anyways. I hope all will go well in your relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Haha your right thank you :) !

  • U gotta talk out these feelings with your boyfriend, keeping in all these emotions is self-destructive! :-/

    2|1
    0|0
  • okay, as u said u have some fears as a result from your ex realaton. but that does not mean that all relationships u will get into will be horrible.
    if u think like that, u will not be able to continue your relationships successfully.
    in my opinion, u have to talk with your current boyfriend about your dears and he will prove to u that u r his own love.
    finally, i can not believe that there are some people who think that money s everything in our lives just do not worry about the car etc
    if he really loves u, he will not look at u as someone unable to buy a car or etc
    i hope your relationship get better till the best.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Get out of your head, meaning your negative thoughts are your own worst enemy. Next is stop comparing yourself to others. There is a reason he is dating you and not those other girls, because he connects with you and your chemistry works!
    Also your thinking that this guy will turn out like the last guy, that isn't true. Each guy is different, this current boyfriend has different character and integrity.

    2|0
    0|0
  • It sounds like you are dealing with negative self-talk. It can be hard to deal with, I know personally. You think of one negative thing, then another, going into a spiral causing anxiety and frustration. Try catching it before it starts, or gets too far, in your mind. If you think about all the other women that are around him, remind yourself that he chose you instead of the others. If he doesn't respond to texts or phone calls right away, try to do something to keep you busy. Take a walk, wash dishes, do laundry, etc. If you can't do those things, try to concentrate on the place you are at. Describe everything you see internally. If something triggers you when you think about or around around it, do your best to avoid those things and concentrate on what you enjoy. And remember to be gentle with yourself. These thoughts that pop into your mind don't make you who you are. You are a good person and deserving of happiness.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      I've always delt with negative self talk... it sucks bad. I am working on getting away from that mindset completly.

  • You just need to be calm about this. Relationships are not the end of the world. Don't you have hobbies, passions? Mind you, this anxiety of yours is takin toll on you and its your enemy. It will only hurt your present relationship and your future as well. Kill it, be strong and calm. Not everything can be under your control. If your future is set, so be it, you can't do anything about that further. You need to have control over you anxieties, nothing else. Life can never be very sweet, it has its own pitfalls and you can simply smile back and love life to your fullest.

    1|0
    0|0
  • All I can say is I know how you feel because I have developed anxiety as well because of how much I was hurt before, try to keep the crazy to yourself and deal with it, you will come out more wise and be able to judge things better.

    It's ok to freak out a little but don't act on it, don;t base your actions on assumptions you are not sure are true.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You have to get over your fears, tell yourself they won't happen (because they won't). The only way for you to "get over" the anxiety is to communicate with your boyfriend. Communication and honesty. When you both truly get to know each other and there are no secrets between you you'll be able to truly relax and be happy because you'll see how much he cares/loves you and that he won't leave you because of your feelings. A truly healthy, happy relationship. The way all should be but people let their fears rule them and communication lacks.

    0|0
    0|0
  • At first don't tell anything about your problem to your boyfriend, as it can be one of the reasons that can weaken a relationship. Because he may get worried about losing you and his relationship also and this worry can really affect the relationship and of course you may encounter a change in his behavior. There are two choices for him:

    1) He loves you like he says.
    or
    2) He's lying.

    But as you said the situation is like he loves you forever and he will be with you untill the end of his life. The only thing that you can do is to be optimist about it and of course a psychologist or a counselor can help you with your anxiety.

    Sorry about the bad grammar. English is not my native language!

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's OK to have anxiety... Relationships can be tough to handle and progress..

    Just take one day at a time... and you will be fine

    1|0
    0|0
  • Get help. All you have to do is ask. You don't get many shots at love.
    What pisses me off is that your ex broke up via text. That's cowardly !

    1|0
    0|0
  • My solution is just stay single. Then there is no anxiety/drama.

    1|0
    1|0
  • It's easy
    Sit him down:
    1. Express how devoted you are to him
    2. Share your dreams/hopes with him
    3. But also share a portion of your worries/fears.
    Sure you are a woman with a A. Hole past boyfriend, however your not insecure or worried because your a hurt woman, your only this way because your human.
    Sure it isn't easy keeping a relatioship with someone at a different stage of their life (Work vs College), but all it takes is a little effort and trust; sure there's women around his work place - her look around there's women everywhere.
    You'll probably surprised to find out his just as worried about college guys around you too.
    So just as you'll share each other's hopes and dreams, sit down and talk about your fears as well. I'm sure it won't scare him off, but it will definitely help you heal and feel even closer to your boyfriend.

    Your only human, allow yourself to believe his true and give trust and care were it is earned/given back.

    Wish you guys all the best.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think in a relationship you should take part and interest in each others lives outside of it. I don't consider marriage as a necessity for a good relationship, though once commit to someone, I stay committed, marriage papers or not. Some people are in "open relationships', i. e. can have sex with others, but stay committed to each other. It takes some understanding to grasp what a relationship should be, but talking about what you and your boyfriend want is extremely important. And if he IS really committed to you he will be honest!
    I really do wish you luck.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing wrong with you, baby. You're anxious (have you experienced these type of feelings berfore?, under different circumstances?). If so, you may have an anxiety disorder, which is fairly easily treatable, and see a family Doc.

    But, Talk to him about it. Tell him that you care, and if he doesn't feel the same way, you'll leave him because you don't want a heartbreak.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Stop working out differences in you head and continue to work on both of your relationship together. Anxiety only approaches when one decides to get all worked up over it single handedly. instead , both together use these avenues and focuses as such with one another. This way your aproached with true aspects of a problem instead , then find thier solutions.

    0|0
    0|0
  • First of a u never want to grow old it is not fun to be old... That sad you must discuss your anxiety with your man communication is so important...

    1|0
    0|0
  • I feel the same way with my girlfriend because of a previous relationship. But the way she makes me feel is what I always think about whenever I get those bad thoughts. Also if that doesn't work don't be afraid to tell him! You might just be surprised with his reaction.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Save your feelings - he doesn't care. If he did he would be talking and dating you instead of someone else. Time to move on.
    Spilling your guts just makes you look desperate. Guys are either hell yes or hell no. If he's moved on he's 'hell no' for you.

    0|0
    2|1
  • relationship is a bit premature to be looking forward to your first anniversary after just nine months in

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    14

What Girls Said 29

  • It shows that you really care which can be seen as a positive thing. Anxiety stems from fear of loss, and the need to control. Doesn't mean you are a controlling girlfriend, but you do wish you have some sort of control of the situation.

    To help with the anxiety, try to detach from your thoughts and emotions. Realize hat thoughts do come up spontaneously. It forms and goes and so does your anxiety.

    Also nothing is permanent in this world. Changes always happens. Even if you ended up marrying your boyfriend there will always be ebbs and flows in the marriage / relationship.

    Hope it helps.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I don't really have much to comment. I've started to realise I feel the same way, except I've started taking it out on my partner a bit. Whenever he does something that bothers me and yeah perhaps I may be in my right to be a LITTLE upset, I find myself overreacting and getting angry just ALL the time.

    I'm really glad others (well not glad, it sucks ha), have this situation too, and while we feel loved and KNOW nothing is wrong and that they love us, we can't help these bad feelings sometimes. I'm glad for others responses too.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Im glad my question could help you too :)

  • Sounds less of relationship anxiety and more under the lines or trust issues because of your ex.

    Honestly, there really isn't a proper answer anyone of GAG could give you that would put your mind at ease. You really do need to talk to you partner about the intense issues and paranoia you have. Explain yourself out to them. They aren't going to think any less of you. Your risking your relationship when you really don't have to.

    Hey, not everyone has a lot of money or a car. I lived with my parents forever. And to be honest, sometimes I pack my things and go home and hang for 3 months. It happens. College gives you the time to say up for a rainy day. Don't see yourself in such a negative perspective. There are many people in your position. I would stay with my parents for the rest of my life if they weren't half way around the world.

    You have worth to you and your partner needs to understand where you stand in terms of your relationship. Just sit down with him, take a sit of tea ( or coffee or whatever your heart contents) and just talk. Until you get dry mouth.

    2|0
    0|0
  • you need to realize anxiety does nothing but upset you and possibly him. Being nervous over what may or may not ever happen is a waste of good energy. Why don't you put that energy into something positive that will definitely help assure a happy life for you? Focus on your school work or your job or your hobbies. Go to the gym. These things will not only help take the pressure off your wandering, anxiety ridden mind but also may make you even MORE attractive to him which would essentially push your fears even further away from a reality. Good luck, I've been there and I'm telling you this so you don't make the same mistakes as me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You may have an attachment disorder, or your past relationship (s) have culminated in this anxiety-fueled you.

    Thing is... you won't tell him about your issues, so, you aren't that close with him, right? If he truly, TRULY loves you, he will work WITH you and HELP you (if/when/where he can) to move past them.

    This cycle you are in will lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. You won't tell him because you're scared he'll leave you, but your paranoia and anxiety and lack of trust will push you further away from one another because you'll be so bat$hit crazy he will definitely leave eventually. Sorry, I'm bat$hit crazy, too, so I understand both sides.

    Thing is, you gotta A) be straight up with him about your fears, B) seek out a therapist and get help, or it's going to get worse.

    Been there, done that... and if you don't get help/open up, these issues will continue in all your relationships. You'll be very lonely and isolated, and it could all be fixed if you are vulnerable enough to put it out there. If he says he can't deal, or he doesn't want to deal with it, then be done with him and find someone you can be open/honest with in a loving environment.

    1|0
    0|0
  • talk to your boyfriend and say how you feel
    the thing is that you are just traumatized by the past experience and it's understandable that you feel the way you do
    if your boyfriend is older he is more likely to be more mature and understand it
    also don't keep things like this from him, creating distance is no good cause partners can feel that you might have something you keep up for ysf and if they don't know what, they could think the worst, so open comunication is always better to have a healthy relationship; if he will live you for that you gotta face that fears
    don't be embarassed for how you feel, it's normal cause of your bad experience

    1|0
    0|0
  • I can relate to your fears about being abandoned when your ex just texted you and ended it. I once dated a guy who, after a couple months of dating, called me to tell me that he was engaged the whole time we were dating and that he would be getting married the following weekend, that he was changing his number and to take care. I was shocked. I had a hard time trusting guys I was dating after that.

    The most beautiful thing you can offer your boyfriend and yourself is your vulnerability. Talk to him about it. Tell him that you are excited about your one year coming up but you also feel anxious and you're not sure why.

    I would also recommend journaling, it can be very healing. Maybe write about your past relationship as it seems to be a problem still. By journaling, a lot of things come up that you might not think are problems.

    One thing I can guarantee is that if you are doing what you love and are happy in your own life, other women being around him at work wouldn't be a problem. Anytime I have been engulfed in my life and feeling really good about myself, I found that I don't get jealous of other women. When I have low self esteem or am not living my truth fully, I am a mess and get jealous easily.

    You have to do the work, not for him, but for yourself. Because if it doesn't work out with this guy, you will carry the same insecurities into your next relationship. So put the focus back on yourself and it will draw him closer.

    3|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      I have a hard time being vulnerable because of that past situation. I was so vulnerable with my ex and he pretty much took that and shat on it. But yes I will be getting into a hobby very soon and put more focus on myself.

    • 3mo

      After being hurt, vulnerability takes practice. It's hard but I believe that real men want to protect our vulnerability and he will appreciate your openness. Good luck! :)

  • Your fears are understandable. I for one was that person informing my ex husband that I did not love him after 5 years of marriage. He however probably knew it was not love as he'd throw comments similar to this: ' I feel sorry for you, you're always seeking after romantic love, whereas that never lasts... .' That's the kind of mindset he had. I tried to love him but everything was routine, safe, concrete, predictable and too bland for me. We were not the same people and I was silly to marry him when I was vulnerable, hurt and desperately seeking that someone would love me. He came out of the blue and said he loved me after 2 months whereas he hardly knew me ! Never mind understood me or consulted with me and others to see that this was sound. SOOO... going back to you, my dear. You have this fear. It was with a guy who never really loved you but you know, I think somewhere deep down, you'll know whether a person loves you or not. My ex used to regularly throw out comments like ' I'm frightened that you'd leave me... I had a nightmare that you'd leave me.' Thing is, there was so many incidents to indicate that there was no true love shared between us! DENIAL IS A SEDUCTIVE LIE..
    Anyway, you can at least gently broached the subject of trust with your partner. You can mention that you're dealing with a number of fears and would like him to help you overcome them, etc. Just a suggestion:)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its totally normal to have these fears. BUT you have got to stop torturing yourself honey! He obviously loves you, if he wanted someone else he would get them. But he wants YOU! :) Congrats on dealing so far so well & for almost one year! Tips to help are when you feel anxious (I have severe anxiety that I take medication for) but some tips are when you're feeling worried, focus on something else. Some type of hobby or chat with your girlfriends, play a game, anything to get your mind off it. Know that he cares & he wants to be with you, sees a future with you! Just because you don't have all your ducks in a row just yet doesn't mean a thing, if it bothered him you'd know. He sounds like he'll be there in the longrun so just focus on yourself too & getting your life together so the two of you can continue to be happy together! Enjoy your time with him, and hey a fun thing you could do would be imagine your wedding :D Maybe even look up dresses & things! Best to ya!

    0|0
    0|0
  • You just have to be positive. Keep a part of your heart locked and safe so that if things end it won't hurt as bad. Just breath and believe that god has you in his hands and think things happen for a reason! Don't let yourself get scared and think of the worst because that's sometimes how relationships get worst. NOBODY is better then you! just because he's surrounded with women with good jobs doesn't mean that they have what you have. Just relax and breath.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You should tell him how you feel.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You should tell him so he'll reassure you

    If it were me id take things slower

    1|0
    0|0
  • Not communicating and letting the other person know how you feel can mess up a relationship too. The truth will set you free, if your scared he is going to leave you maybe you don't have a close bond with him like you thought you did. Your still young, their is billions of men left, don't be scared if it doesn't work out with this one. Cheer up and gain confidence in yourself. If he is not texting you back just so you can see if he is okay, and aking you stress like that that would be a big issue for me but if your bugging all the time than I can understand why he wouldn't text back. You just have to let go and live, if it doesn't work out, it won't. I just saw your update, that's perfect. I'm glad you found something to get your mind off of worry. 😚

    0|0
    0|0
  • First talk to him about how your feeling. You could try couples councling. Also pray about it. If it's something ment to be it will be.

    1|0
    0|0
  • you just need to trust him, if he says he loves you then i think u should believe it and stop thinking about wrong things. good luck b

    1|0
    0|0
  • Communicate! Good luck!

    1|0
    0|0
  • HOLY CRAP i legit have the same problem as you, except me and my boy never talk about the future, he barley ever talks about his feelings, but always says i love you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Never ever hide anything from your boyfriend. It usually is the thing that breaks up relationships. Be open and honest. Tell him what bites you and work through it. And if he doesn't want you anymore or that annoys him then I am sorry to say honey but he is not the one

    0|0
    0|0
  • End "relationship anxiety" but not ever being in one.

    Best I can do.
    Serial dater right here.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Does he answer his phone most the time when you call. And when he doesn't answer , does he all back right away?

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not good to hide things from your boyfriend you have to tell him

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have nothing to add to everyone else's statements but I wish you luck.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Talk to him. You love him and he loves you!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Talk to him!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel your pain... It's hard. But with the right person by your side great things will happen. I know because I've been there with past relationships where they've abused me, both physically and emotionally, had guys cheat on me. Ur boyfriend sounds a lot like mine, and he seems like he really does care for you. Believe me if a guy wants to get married have children and spend ur future together to grow old (n he has brought his up) nine times out of ten he means it. Guys don't bring up or talk about these subjects just for fun. I'm very insecure at times too but sometimes when we don't think they understand us they do we just have to go to them. Keep faith it's only going to get better. I have to remind myself everyday

    0|0
    0|0
  • From your description it seems like your insecurity mostly has a life-job content to it.
    What has your family financial situation been like in the past and what has his been like?

    P. s. I know lots of guys complain about lazy women or seem to value successful women, but from what I've seen and heard, deep down most guys really want a woman who is able to take care of them and make their house into a home. Career and success usually comes second.
    So let me know and we may be able to find the root of your anxiety.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Go fuck a bunch of guys. Serouly you'll feel much better

    0|0
    1|0
  • I have gone through this and can sympathize completely. I am ashamed to say that I've told my boyfriend multiple times over the last 2 years we've been together that I wanted to break up, because I couldn't handle the anxiety and fear of receiving that text saying he had found someone else or had suddenly fallen out of love with me. So many times. I was insecure. But I also realize that you cannot rush trusting someone. Trust is built, not found. And to build trust, you must communicate when things don't seem right. So for you, the anxiety comes from the apparent disparity in your relationship between your boyfriend's loving words/grand romantic gestures and him not texting back/living around other women. What you need to do is first objectively ask yourself if you can name anything your boyfriend has done that has makes you feel like he doesn't love you. For example, does he tell you why he doesn't text you back? Does he ever hide things from you? If you have any doubts, write them down, and then talk to him about them. Don't be afraid of confrontation. Communication is very very important, and confrontation believe it or not brings you closer once things get resolved. And if he truly loves you, I swear, as someone who has argued countless times with her boyfriend and put him through unnecessary hell sometimes, he will stick through it and not leave. He will talk to you. He will listen. He will try to understand. That's a true test right there.

    2|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Don't try to distract yourself. Face your feelings head on.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      Saying he "can't text back bc he's with friends" is a huge lie. Don't delude yourself. He could text back. It would take two seconds. The reality is that he'd rather give his girl friends his full attention then risk texting you to disrupt the "flow." He doesn't care that you might be sad or worried on the other side of the phone. Have you told your boyfriend that this situation bothers you? If you're too scared to speak up, that's a huge problem. Don't toss this under the rug and tell yourself you have an "anxiety problem." Your boyfriend doesn't have his priorities straight! Your wants & needs come first! He should have, like my boyfriend and I, since getting together with you, realized that it's not cool to continue hanging out with girls. Remember, there are other guys out there would wouldn't put you through this. He can say he loves you all he wants, but do you feel loved unconditionally?

    • 3mo

      *who

  • Tell him why you're scared and think hard about them both. They probably aren't the same unless you have a pattern for choosing guys like them

    2|0
    0|0
Loading...