Cheating, Lies and Abuse?

I've been in a relationship for about 5 years. 4 of those years, we had a lot of issues. Some of the issues included catching him red handed telling people he's single, while telling me we're in a relationship, clues of suspected cheating on his end, not spending enough time and holidays together, avoiding talks about the future, I haven't met his parents, and whenever we have a disagreement or different point of view about something, he calls me a fat, stupid bitch and even wishes death upon me. I never did anything to him, to give him a valid reason to treat me this way.

We had many fights over the past 4 years about all these issues. Each time, we agreed to work on all these issues, so we can finally resolve them and move on & move forward. But each time we agree to do that, my boyfriend never met me half way OR remained consistent in his efforts on his end.

Recently over the past 2 months, my boyfriend been making smalls steps to make things more peaceful between him and I. However, I've been having a change of heart about the relationship and Im no longer in love with him and began to distancing slowly distancing myself from the relationship. I even began seeing someone else over the past 2 months, who is 20 years older than me, my boyfriend and I are both 30.

Honestly, the only reason why I haven't broke up with my boyfriend, is because I afraid of being alone and I want to have someone suitable to replace my boyfriend first. The 50 year old guy is wonderful and he knows about my situation with my boyfriend. But I want to get married and have a child and he's probably done with marriage and having children.

Any advice? Even if you disagree with my situation, please keep the responses respectful.

Updates:
3mo When my boyfriend and I first met, he told me he always had a crush on me for years. Although we immediatelty hit it off as friends, I wasn't sure if I was interested in being more than his friend. However, he asked me if we could be exclusive relationship, and I decided to give it a shot. But looking back, I should have followed my gut instinct. I think I only stayed with him, because it's the longest realtionship I've ever had, in hopes of being married one day.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • break up with your boyfriend. you should've done it a long time ago. staying with a person simply because you don't want to be alone is very ill advised.

    it only makes sense that after so many years of unhappiness in the relationship that you no longer feel strongly for him. so please for your sake do what you have to do which sounds like ending things... and for the sake of your boyfriend who should be with someone who wants to be with him

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    • 3mo

      Thank you for your honest opinion.

What Guys Said 2

  • You need to leave your boyfriend. You should have done already because your relationship doesn't work, but now that YOU are the one cheating you should leave more than ever. Being alone is better than being with someone you don't love

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  • Why did you pick him?

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    • 3mo

      When my boyfriend and I first met, he told me he always had a crush on me for years. Although we immediatelty hit it off as friends, I wasn't sure if I was interested in being more than his friend. However, he asked me if we could be exclusive relationship, and I decided to give it a shot. But looking back, I shoud have followed my gut instinct. I think I only stayed with him, because this is the longest realtionship I've ever had, in hopes of being married one day.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should stop being with him. He disrespects you and he doesn't care about you. It's better being on your own rather than being with someone who humiliates you and treats you like garbage.

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