Am I friends with benefits or in a relationship?

Me and a guy I'm seeing have sex regularly, almost every night. We cuddle, have long kissing sessions. and watch TV together. We haven't gone out to dinner or on a proper date. We laugh a lot and talk about personal things. Last night I asked him if we were friends with benefits but he says no, we are more than that. We don't go out because he gets home at 10:00 at night I think. Even on his days off we just chill at his place. If I am just a friends with benefits and I walk away would that make him take me more seriously?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are a side girl. Let me break it down. Most girls go for guys who have multiple women interested in them.

    What happens is these guys have multiple girlfriend as i would say. You get his spare time and get to fuck him and then he oes to another girl. of course being seen in public with you might fuck up his plates (girls he are seeing on rotation) so he can't go out with you in public and you are regulated to:

    cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...a-8a14-58245cb3232a.jpg

    Hence, why we have such an imbalance in dating world where so many men are without girlfriend yet somehow majority of girls all seem to have boyfriend.

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    • 3mo

      My question is if I'm a side chick, why does he let me over every night after work (he's a nurse so he works a lot) and I've had a pregnancy scare in which case he seemed fine and even somewhat happy at the prospect of me being pregnant?

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    • 3mo

      Hmm.. well there was a mytake not too long back by a girl that gave great advice on how women can edge out the competition and be top picking for men. I can't remember the title but i do recall the first advice was don't be a bitch because majority of women act like bitches and one of the things she pointed out was bad mouthing and gossiping about people in front of your man.

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30408-how-to-get-your-man-off-without-even-touching-him

      The above take isn't it but it's pretty good also.

    • 3mo

      Wow thanks I'll take a read, I appreciate your time :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. Walk away.
    You are in between relationship and friends with benefits.
    He likes you more than just friends with benefits but he doesn't see you as girlfriend material.
    He doesn't need to work on a relationship with you he doesn't need a label necessary while you giving him enough attention and sex.
    Been there done that.
    I was having exactly same relationship you having now with my ex after we broke up.
    I was sick of him playing this 'we not friends with benefits but I'm too busy with my life now' bullshit.
    Obviously when a guy is having sex with you yet he hasn't labeled you as his girlfriend that means he doesn't have a respect for you he doesn't see you that way or he just doesn't want to deal with relationship/commitment whatsoever. Do you really want a guy like that?

    I left my ex. I realized I deserve better guy than his shit and I was so sick of him bullshittjng me.
    My ex keeps calling me even till this day saying he 'deeply' loves me, he wants to work on things and all bullshit he has to say. If he sincerely loved me that's not how he does we all know that better. And same goes with your guy. If he respected you and if he's the 'right guy' he doesn't treat you like this. You should have been his girlfriend already he should take you out to nice dinner or do something outside bedroom together, do some date-activities. Nobody is too busy for a relationship. Even busy doctors and lawyers manage their time to take out their ladies. Leave him.
    My advice is, after you leave him he comes back begging you he wants you back (most likely he's still not going to ask you to be his girlfriend and instead, he will say he's too busy for a relationship but he likes you very much, he wants to see how things go with you first, all bullshits.) don't take him. He already is mistreating you what can you possible expect out of this. Maybe he will play boyfriend for awhile but he will go back to where he used to be. I'm telling you been there done that not worth it. You deserve way better than his shit.

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    • 3mo

      The way you wrote this really resonated with me. You weren't condescending or anything and I appreciate your advice very much. I hate being in between things and it's even worse when they do things that give you little glimmers of hope. You are right I do deserve better than this it just took a little for me to see that. I've cooked for him and I've done everything a girlfriend should but I can't at least get the appreciate and commitment? It's like if you've done your best and it's not good enough somehow you know there's no pleasing them.

What Guys Said 5

  • why do you bother thinking about what label you want to slap on it? xD just enhoy it for as long as it´s good.

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  • may be... you can try it out.

    If he feels for you then you will come to know about it.

    Don't think you both are in relationship.. but may be pre relationship thing.. may be started feeling or each other...

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  • maybe he even has a girlfriend. have u considered that? lol ur a girl and didn't worry about it, you sound like a catch

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  • friends with benefits.

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  • Why not just ASK HIM? Everything else is reading the crystal globe

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What Girls Said 10

  • He already said you guys were not friends with benefits... I think you should maybe tell him clearly what you want instead of wishing for the guy to be a mind reader. From what you have said it looks like the connection is there for you with him but maybe he just needs a nudge in the right direction.. So like I said just tell him "hey you know since we aren't friends with benefits, I just really wanna go on a date with you", if he bluntly goes no, you can walk away from this relationship with no qualms because clearly you two wanted different things.

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  • If you're mature enough to be having sex regularly with someone, you can ask the question properly.
    Ask him what you are properly. Or ask him what he wants etc.

    If you can be in either a friends with benefits situation OR a relationship with someone, you should be able to talk about it.

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  • Yea your friends with benefits of you were more he would have said no your my girl and a man that is serious is going to to make time to take you on a proper date I would fall back and maybe see what else is out there

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  • he said no, and that you were more than that. which makes me think he obviously wants something more with you. So maybe at this point he's probably is considering you a girlfriend but hasn't made it official yet.. like he hasn't asked you. I would wait it out, give him a few days maybe a week to ask you to make it official. If he doesn't say anything by then, then I would be like hey.. so boyfriend/girlfriend.. yes, no, maybe.. Just ask him were its headed and were he wants it to go.

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  • Another lie they tend to say to keep u on the leash until you'd figure out that it was just all about sex with him

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  • You asked him and he said it's more than that... what is your question?

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  • Just tell him that if he sees it as more, then to start treating you as such i. e. taking you on dates.

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  • its funny and it seems ur enjoying ur time. If u're feeling that u started to get attached to him and falling in love with him , my opinion is just step back , limit ur meetings for sex to check whether he's into u or he's just having some benefits with u. So test him and try not to be always available to him . Let's see how much u're important to him if he's honest as he said and he considers u more than friends with benefits.
    Good luck :)

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    • 3mo

      This is great advice

  • Obviously

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    • 3mo

      *hes using you

    • 3mo

      walking away is not going to make him take you more seriously. You already ruined your chance to appear respectable since you have already decided to allow yourself to be degraded and reduced to a friends with benefits.

  • I think you need to go on some dates. Suggest a nice evening out or something. If he's not interested, I guess he's just a friends with benefits

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