Can someone explain? Why are some people able to freely express themselves over text ("I love you so much", ect) but in person they CRINGE or hesitate?

In very open and expressive. But I've noticed that my girlfriend is able to freely express her emotions over text and say nice things like "I miss you, baby" or "I love you" and so much more. She can even dirty talk over text.
But I can hear the hesitation & cringing in her voice when she tries to express emotions over the phone or in person. I also know a few men like this.

So... What's the reasoning behind this? Insecurity? Shyness? Most importantly: WHAT can I do to help? What would help YOU (if you're guilty of this trait).


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, I personally express myself better in writing than in actual spoken words. I've tried time and time again to come up with a reason why, and I guess it's because in verbally expressing something, once it's said it can't be taken back... I mean it can, but at the same time, not really... I feel like I'm not making sense, lol. Like I know once words come out of my mouth, it's not like I can reach out and grab them and put them back in. I know I could say "Oh wait I didn't mean that, I take it back" but it's already too late. Does that make sense? Whereas with writing/typing you can rewrite, delete, erase, and edit as much as you want before pressing send.

    But I think it's also fear of being vulnerable, because when people talk face to face, that experience comes w/ hearing tones of voices, seeing facial expressions, etc. I'm opening myself to the possibility of the person I'm speaking to not responding/reacting well to something I have to say, or at least not in the way I would've liked them to, and that can be so much more nerve wracking than just typing something up, pressing send, then waiting for a response (then again, that can be nerve wracking as well, in its own right :/ ). Verbally saying things makes them "real", "valid", and "official", so once I hear myself say it can be kind of scary actually. Like damn, this is out there now for you to take it however you will.
    I've never been in a relationship... but if I was, I think what would help me is just being reassured that I'm safe with you, and knowing that what I say won't be ridiculed, laughed at, made fun of, not taken seriously, or anything like that. Because I've been in situations before where I've "manned up" and worn my heart on my sleeve, only to discover behind my back later on that it wasn't taken seriously :(
    But all the above is just me. Of course I can't actually speak for your girlfriend, but I hope this helped anyway.
    Some people talk too much, others type too much. Guess which one I am? Lol


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What Girls Said 3

  • She may was rejected before or said I love you and she didn't get to hear "I love you too". You may have to try to say it first so she gets more comfortable.

  • I guess it's easier for someone to tell another to go away over text then in person? Am I right? Idk?

  • Shy maybe

    • Saying I love you too should never be hard ;)

What Guys Said 1

  • Most young people today are like that. They just have gotten so used to texting and chatting online that they have become socially awkward.