Why has he stopped being so affectionate after sleeping together?

I’ve been dating this guy for two months; we were getting to know each other, taking things at a steady pace etc. and it was great – he was really sweet; sending cute messages, being playful etc. Recently, he’s been through a very hard time with his sister being in hospital but she’s slowly on the mend. Anyway, we saw each other after two weeks apart and we slept together for the first time. I saw him the next week, and we slept together again. We’re still together and we go out, have dates and have a great time, but his affection towards me has changed; before we were holding hands when we were out, or he’d put his arm round me. He doesn’t do this anymore. When he does show affection, it’s only because he’s thinking about sex and it’s when we’re alone at his or mine.

Also, his texts aren’t affectionate either. I know this all seems really silly, but is there an explanation? I’ve supported him through the hardship of his sister’s illness, and dates are suggested but never set in stone as she is his priority, which I completely respect, but this doesn’t explain the shift in his affection.


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What Guys Said 0

No guys shared opinions.

What Girls Said 3

  • When men go through difficult periods in life they shy away from conversation so even if you asked he'd say nothing is wrong however in my experience his emotions due to family life and worry will affect his sex drive and he will probably not feel up to it and/or engaged in it with so much on his mind. When I've been in this situation and asked if there is anything I can unfortunately he ended it with me because too much was going on. So tread carefully and good luck xxxx

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  • He's using you.
    And he's just using excuses about his sister so he could get away with pretty much everything.
    Doesn't matter his sisters sick his family member just died or any horrible things happen. He likes you he respects you, then he will treat you like one. He's using you and he clearly doesn't deserve you just drop him.

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    • 3mo

      Thanks for your opinion. The confusing thing is, is that we have been on one or two dates since his sister's recovery where sex is not an opportunity i. e. out having drinks, going for tea yet he still acts unaffectionate.

    • 3mo

      How about talk to him how you feeling?
      I personally think if a guy likes you he will be affectionate towards you, and it's not like he never been affectionate before. Ask him and don't be too serious when you ask. just teasingly ask him why he doesn't hold your hand or hug you.. Tell him you like it when he's affectionate.

    • 3mo

      That's a great tip, thanks. I'll give it a go. Before we slept together the first time, we were fooling around and I told him to stop because I wasn't sure if it was too soon for us both. Didn't want to complicate things, but we discussed it more, and we ended up sleeping together. I certainly felt ready because I enjoy sex, and I've gotten to know him and form a bond. I guess I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page and we were. We're fine in general. He's an honest guy; when his sister was ill he called me up saying he felt like he was neglecting me and I assured him I didn't feel that way, so I'm happy to see him when he's free. I've gently offered suggestions when I'm free, and then I leave it up to him for now.

  • He was using you

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