So my 22 year old boyfriend cancels dates on me after we had plan our dates for weeks , only because his mom needs help or wants to see him , yes he is a momma's boy. I understand that mothers need their sons help and it's sweet because right there it's shows that he loves and respects his mom , it's been said how a man treats his mom its the way he will treat his wife. But I dislike the fact that he always cancels on me just to spent time with mommy I mean come on this man is 22 years old , to old to be attached and crying for mommy. I DON'T LIKE HIS MOM. Obviously she hates me she always makes faces at me never says hi and she ask me to hand her the ketchup and she did not say thank you , one time my boyfriend had the brilliant idea for his mom , me and him to have lunch at Dennys , after lunch my boyfriend and I had plans to go to the movies after he had mentioned it to his mom about it , she was oh sweet but I tough you were going to Walmart with me to get groceries , That really bothered me bur I kept my mouth shut than my boyfriend was like will make it up for some other time. Then it was our anniversary we were goin to fridays and made reservasions and his mommy has the wonderful idea to like his 10 year old bro for my boyfriend to babysit honestly I had nough I am now thinking about breaking up with him. Now I understand why teresita so many wife's that hate there mother in laws. Man would you ditch your girlfriend for mommy? Would a mans mom come first before his family and wife?
LOL, totally agree with you! It also baffles me as why some guys puts their mom first. To a degree he should be, but there comes a time when your SO becomes more important. It becomes worse, like in your situation, when the mom also doesn't realize that one day the girlfriend will, "take over" looking after her son. Many moms feel threatened by this and have the attitude that you are "taking away her baby!" This is why she hates you for no good reason. For me personally, it is important to get along with the in-laws. Too much friction in your case and you would have to fight years of it should you stay together. I am not interested in friction, drama or stepping on egg shells to keep the peace. I would break up since he is obviously still putting mommy first and mommy would rather you not be there anyway!
The problem is not the mom. The problem is the boyfriend. Because the mother cannot interject in the relationship and ruin your plans unless the boyfriend LETS her. He gives her the power because HE chooses to change his actions depending on what she says or how she feels. This is the dynamic of their relationship and has been BEFORE you were ever in the picture. So things are not going to change now just because you're unhappy. Either you need to deal with it and keep quiet or you leave, because his relationship with his mom is beyond your control. Also keep in mind, your boyfriend does not stand up for you, he doesn't tell his mother to correct her behavior and be respectful, and he does not set boundaries between his personal life with you and his life with his mom. By way of his actions, his priorities are clear, which is his mom. You need to move on.
PLUS, there are millions of men out there who will defend you and they have mothers who are lovely and will respect you. You don't need to put up with this shenanigans.
If you hate his mom then why are you with him? He needs to honor his parents in all things and that includes over you. He is not too old for anything. That is her son and he is still her son no matter how old he is. 22 has absolutely 0 to do with it. And that is the point. You are NOT his wife. If you were married to him, then his mother has no say. If you can't get along and try to be respectful to his mother, then she has every right to dislike you. Therefore you need to ask yourself. Why are you with somebody who's parents doesn't like? He is NOT a momma's boy. But overall he does needs to make time to spend with you or else he shouldn't even be dating in the first place. If he is still at his mothers house, which I bet he is, he still has to follow her rules or he can leave. Like I said, if you can't deal with it anymore, why tolerate it? Dump him already and move on. Its not going to work.
My boyfriend does the same thing. When mommy says jump, he says how high. He doesn't live with her. He lives with me and he still does it. "David, I need you to pick up your brothers." "David, I need cigarettes." "David, I need milk." And then if we ask for help because we are struggling, she acts like she is a helpless 90-year-old woman. She absolutely hates me too. I refuse to get out of the car when we go over there. His brothers will come outside to play with me but I don't go inside.