Guys, would you date a woman that didn't find you attractive at first but after knowing you she suddenly finds you attractive?

I wouldn't date her because that shows me that she doesn't like me for how I look. She only likes me for my personality or talents/skills. I want her to like me for everything (personality, looks, skills etc). In my opinion liking someone only for non physical things such as personality, doesn't count as attraction.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • have you heard the expression "acquired taste"?

    Your looks gonna change in the long run, I wouldn´t equal it to personality...

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    • 3mo

      I know what you mean but even when people's looks change from age, the lover still finds them physically attractive. If a woman doesn't find me physically attractive but likes my personality, I'm won't consider dating her because I won't feel completely loved.

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    • 3mo

      Well, then I admit I have similar feelings/reaction as you described, when I see an attractive guy...

    • 3mo

      That makes more sense, thanks for sharing an opinion.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope. If she has no attraction to me upon first sight (and vice versa) there is no need to pursue things. My personality can be an acquired taste, but there has to be initial physical attraction.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I honestly get what you're saying. Personally, if I knew my partner wasn't physically attracted to me, my self esteem would kind of drop. Its like, well, what are you dating me for? OBVIOUSLY you'll find someone else out there who you are both physically and mentally attracted to. Why is this person settling on me when they dont even care for the physical aspect? Personality saves the day of course, but if there's no physical attraction that reeks of future dead bedroom.

    Of course, its different if someone sees personality FIRST, then the other parts of attraction comes for ALL of you. Personality can actually make someone more physically attractive, but I dont know. People always want to think they are not that shallow, but their actions and dating habits prove otherwise more often than not.

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  • Huh that's an interesting view (seriously I'm not being sarcastic at all) because most girls and I would assume guys would want someone who loves them for who they are on the inside and not the outside because looks fade, right?

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  • When women say they need to form an emotional attachment to you guys in order to fall for you, men say that bogus and we just only go for looks. But then when you actually see a woman start to fall for you after getting to know your personality first, you say you wouldn't date her because she doesn't go after you for your looks.

    Can't have it both ways.

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    • 3mo

      Emotional attachment and liking me for my personality are the same thing. If she doesn't like me for my looks, I won't consider dating her. Sure personality/emotional attachment are important but looks/physical attraction are also important.

    • 3mo

      Well good luck with that.

  • I was like that to my husband, i didn't havw feelings for him like that, and i only thought he was cute. But now were married, im more in love with him then ever. And i do see him more handsome than before. Although i see other guys that are attractive, i can't ever love them like how i love my husband. And they aren't more than him. Anyways, its better to fall in love with personalities, than looks. Looks wouldn't last long and you'll eventually lose it. However, personality last a lifetime. My husband fell pretty much for my looks only and now he already seemed bored of me.

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    • 3mo

      As someone gets older, that person tends to find people of their age group attractive. Even if the person they find attractive gets older, they will still look attractive. So you didn't find your husband attractive?

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    • 3mo

      That's just a stereotype. Isn't cute the same as attractive? I'm curious what did you find cute about him?

    • 3mo

      Um i think its less than attractive. But maybe it does mean attractive. His looks and voice i thought was cute. Then it became the things he does that i find cute and i eventually fell for his kind generosity.

  • You are just so self obsessed. And you sound stupid. If she doesn't like your looks, its not her problem. And if she at first found you unattractive, and fell in love with ur personality and talents, thats very good. Whats the problem? Now she likes your looks too. So?

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    • 3mo

      Not stupid, I'm just trying to understand women better. How is she going to suddenly like my looks when she knows me more? It makes no sense.

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    • 3mo

      Of course I care about what kind of person she is but I also value looks and I hope to meet a womenvalues the same.

    • 3mo

      *that values the same.

  • When I first met my ex I didn't think he was attractive but then I actually feel in love. So that's possible.

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    • 3mo

      So at first you didn't feel attraction but after knowing him, you suddenly felt attraction to him? Can you find a random man attractive though?

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    • 3mo

      I wouldn't say that, no. You've really never thought a woman was pretty without feeling a desire to have sex with her? It's basically like that.

    • 3mo

      @tyber1 I always see pretty women without wanting sex. I still feel attraction to them.

  • tbh, looks are not everything. so be happy she likes you for you cos that's you, not your body. your body rots away eventually but it's the soul/personality that remains.

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    • 3mo

      True but people tend to find others attractive even if they get older. As someone gets older, that person will find people of their age group attractive.

What Guys Said 17

  • I kind of have that problem in reverse. I became close friends with a girl and over time I came to like her because of her personality strength of character and inner beauty.
    That is why I came to like her but don't get me wrong she is not ugly at all she is a lovely 7-10. When we met I just friend zoned her because I did not think that she was my type. Now that I know she is beautiful inside and out she is way more attractive. Though now I need to try and get out of her friendzone some how.

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  • Well, i don't no. No i'll get frustrated and i don't even try more to know each other better unless i love her too much.

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  • Like its been said, if u dont have the looks, u have to work harder. That means developed a personality or hit the gym.

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    • 3mo

      I won't date a woman that only likes me for my personality. I don't think hitting the gym will even work.

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    • 3mo

      I wouldn't trust that, I wouldn't really appreciate it if a woman only started to find me attractive after knowing me, I wouldn't even date her.

    • 3mo

      Would u date or stay with sumone for a lifetime who is a bad bish but quite decent outside? thats why there are wifey materials and fawk materials ✌🏼️

  • Most likely not, especially with the "knowing you" part. To me there's something else you have that she wants that's easy to see. It just so happens to be wealth/money most of the time

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  • Nope. It's also the reason why I have a month only waiting period when meeting a woman (and I'm being kind). If we are not having sex after a month I have either failed with my game or she doesn't find me attractive.

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  • Happens to me all the time.

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  • I guess it sorta depends on the situation and the woman

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  • I don't think that a woman who didn't find me attractive at first would date me. If I were you I would just forget her.

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  • Sure, as long as she finds me attractive. I would be more worried if she was only attracted to my extreme wealth. Fortunately I do not have that problem.

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  • just nah

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  • You mean like Marge Simpson, yeah I'd do her.

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  • oh yeah. and make her sure she will acquire taste to me to the point she gets addicted

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  • Hmm I would like it if she found me attract from the start, and I've had that with all my previous girlfriends. So I would say no, I couldn't really settle for that... Unless I'd been with her a long time, and then I found out...

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  • Yes , I have caught feelings for an average looking girl before when I got to know her

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  • My ego will say she was just playing

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  • I'm the same way honestly

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  • Nope.

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