This guy chased me a lot, for almost 6 months. I finally gave in to see what he was all about and I fell for him. I'm the type of person who dates with wanting to find someone to build something solid and lasting with. I want stability. For some reason he was gung-ho for pursuing me and he enjoys being around me (we're together almost every evening when he's off work). When I mention commitment he changes the subject to something off topic so obviously he's not interested in talking about it. He said he wants to take things slow, yet he wants sex from me. I may be a fuck buddy (even though he says we're more than that) but I am distancing myself from him because I don't want to waste my time. Am I being too much of a speedy gonzales wanting a commitment after a month, like would this be an issue in general when it comes to the right time to commit?
Most Helpful Guy
Real Life Cliff:
-Guy chases girl for 6 months
-Girl string guy along and keeps him as a backup
-Girl gets dicked by Chad hoping for relationship
-Chad after filling every hole and finally getting bored of her decides to dump her.
-Girl now feel used and lower in value.
-Girl now boost self esteem by getting with guy who she thins will white knight, tell her how pretty she is and make her feel special
-Guy finally gets girl to give him chance and once to take things slow
-Girl having been used by Chad and want to feel special ask for commitment because she'll be damn if another guy treats her like a whore again.
-Guy think girl is going too fast asking for commitment
-Girl starts distancing herself because she expected beta whip puppy dog who would give into her demands and boost her self esteem but finds out she got a guy with little backbone.
-Comes to GAG and ask for relationship help but omits and paints over story in such a way that she appears the victim.
Most Helpful Girl
What are your options with the baby's daddy?
For me, if a guy so much as is interested in me with the idea of a romantic relationship, he better be looking for a commitment. Because that is what I'm looking for.
I won't even touch someone who isn't looking for a commitment/relationship with a ten foot pole.
If he wants to get to know me first, there are other ways to do it. In what context did you meet this guy?
So for me this is the scenario: he knows me from somewhere, work, school, sports team, art class, neighborhood, circle of friends, friend of my family, online blog, ...
So he already knows me socially & knows what I'm about. He's already familiar with my looks. & let's face it, being a superficial attribute, looks are the one thing we are able to, & actually do decide to like or not about someone, at first sight.
So, when both of these conditions are satisfied, we go out on a few one on one dates to get a bit into the important & more personal details of a relationship. By then if we think that we have gathered enough information to start a relationship, & we decide that things look good, we commit, get exclusive, & start getting physical. For me, I won't mention the word marriage at this point, because if you want this guy a lot, you probably don't care about marriage right now. But I would say that exclusivity & commitment are must have minimum requirements for me. But personally, when I was single, I wasn't just looking for dating. I was also looking to eventually start a family. So I made that clear to the guy up front. & usually guys are honest about their intentions on marriage. Unless of course they lie, or I mistake their intentions, in which case I dump them as soon as I find out, or no more than 6 months into the relationship, & face heartbreak. There was only one guy who I just wanted to be with so badly that I was prepared to overlook marriage. Of course he did end up proposing, but I wouldn't have cared if he didn't. & I definitely prefer to have kids with a father, unless it's too late to find a real father for them.
If things don't look good or we need more information, we go back to the friendship phase.
No, me, my feelings and my body did not come for free, & I won't allow anyone to hurt me by taking them on a test drive if he doesn't even know what he is looking for, doesn't have the skills to analyze & judge a person's character as to whether or not they have what he wants, & if he is not considering a commitment of some sort.0