What is one thing that would keep a guy from asking a girl out?

What exactly might keep a guy from dating a smart, witty, pretty girl?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There can be many reasons:

    1. May be he is shy, reserved type so it's highly unlikely he will make a move ( ever). Hence he lacks the capacity to ask her out, to pursue a woman.

    2. He could be the type of guy who was actually never interested in her in first place, say he only wants friendship or in the worst case he only wants a physical relationship from her.

    3. Another reason could be that he only finds her physically attractive and so has a very strong lust on her and nothing more.

    4. Another reason could be that he just doesn't trust women in general, he might have come to a conclusion that a woman will never love him and will eventually leave him for some other guy either by cheating on him or out of her own free will to leave him ( he is being proactive and thinking about the future).

    5. A very common reason and in relation to point #4 he is protecting himself from getting hurt which is natural and understandable.

    6. Another reason could be the fact that he lacks the capacity the skill to take the risk and ask the girl out and see what happens, he rather believes in playing safe. Means he would continue liking her but only from a distance.

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    • 3mo

      Thank you so much! Some of these could definitely apply - I'll keep this all in mind... thanks for your time!

    • 3mo

      That's fine. Have a nice day

Most Helpful Girl

  • -If he thinks one of his friends is also into her or has had a relationship with her in the past
    -If she is really popular and has a lot of guy friends he might feel like she won't have eyes for him when she has so many options
    -If she does not seem interested in him he might decide against pursuing her to save him from the rejection

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What Guys Said 55

  • 3 things come to mind rightaway:
    1-Some women have an attitude problem, the kind that exales "I dont need anyone, Im my own woman", which is always terrible and reeks of "you're expendable to me"
    2-Fear/panic
    3-BS assumptions, like: "she'd never date me", "she probably has a boyfriend, too pretty to be single", "she probably has a dozen dudes flirting with her everyday, many of which probably are prettier/smarter/funnier than me, Im not special at all", "she's a high maintenance girl, Im not good enough", "Im terrible at flirting, she'll think Im an idiot"...

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  • He has a girlfriend.
    he just got out of a bad relationship and isn't ready.
    He just doesn't feel attraction.

    that's 3...

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    • 3mo

      He definitely doesn't have a girlfriend, and has been talking to me for the past year, so I don't think it's the bad relationship thing...
      Maybe he just got bored.
      Thank you!

  • Maybe she's not physically attractive to me. That would be the number one reason. In my case that would usually be the case for a girl who is a bit chubby or worse.

    If she's much taller than me to the point of looming over me, I might feel a bit weird asking her out while looking up at her. That's about the only time I've felt "intimidated" asking a girl out.

    Even if I have no problem asking her out, if she doesn't show me any signs of interest when I'm talking to her then I usually don't bother.

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  • Fear of rejection and shyness.
    Personally, I do it because of science. Studies show that most dating relationships in college (don't even talk about high school!) distract you from your studies. [http://elitedaily. com/dating/intro-dating-relationships-college-dont-mix-well/798893/] Not only so, even after graduating from college it is highly plausible that you still don't know what kind of girl you want. You might not think you guys work well together. [http://elitedaily. com/dating/sex/why-you-dont-need-to-date-in-your-twenties/]
    Now, there are obviously arguments that counter this opinion. This notable blog attempts to refute my argument [http://tolovehonorandvacuum. com/2014/12/dont-wait-until-you-finish-college-for-relationship/], however, I notice multiple flaws. Firstly, this author is VERY biased--she has a husband--she is in a GOOD relationship, in the MINORITY, look at the average rate of marriage for goodness sake [http://national. deseretnews. com/article/4535/us-marriage-rate-hits-new-low-and-may-continue-to-decline. html]!
    Secondly, the author uses very unconvincing sources. Ha! Sources, what am I talking about? She relates to ZERO sources, no psychologist, no relationship experts, no studies whatsoever. Not only so, she appeals to RELIGION which is pretty bad since she's gambling on the fact that you're NOT an atheist. Is she stating that atheists shouldn't marry? Her whole entire argument depends on GOD. What kind of stupid argument is that?
    Case closed. If anyone finds another source refuting me, please challenge me (same name) on debate. org, and we shall argue to our hearts' content!

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  • I think mainly the fear of lack of not being date bait. As in the girl just does one date and then just rolls on.

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    • 3mo

      Perhaps... I definitely have made it clear that I'm not simply rolling on from him, though. He knows that I like him

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    • 3mo

      Sounds good - I'll definitely keep all this in mind. Thanks so much!

    • 3mo

      Welcome miss have a nice day ^w^/)

  • He's not confident enough of her interest in him.

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    • 3mo

      Could be. He seems like a pretty confident guy overall, though. And I've made it clear I like him - I actually think that could maybe be the problem.
      Thank you!

    • 3mo

      The problem is you've made it too clear you like him? So he's afraid or not ready to be in a serious relationship...

    • 3mo

      I have, because he seemed to making it clear from the beginning.
      But this seems to be a running theme no matter what, actually.

  • She may be intimidating. Or he may be shy. Or both. Or he's trying to get over someone.

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  • yes if he is shy guy then he will face difficulties
    If you wanna have afuture with him go make your first move
    Once you make the move he will surely love it

    Dont wait just do it

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    • 3mo

      I wish it were just that he's shy. I've definitely made the move, he's just not made the next one, that's all.

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    • 3mo

      Thank you, I appreciate it!

    • 3mo

      "I've definitely made the move, he's just not made the next one, that's all." Has he just been passive, or actually given indication that he doesn't like you?

      One possible answer is that he's simply clueless, and might have just interpreted your move as just being friendly and missed the sexual cues. I'm speaking from experience here- it took me a full three months to realize that my former girlfriend was actually interested in me...

  • There is not to much that would stop me if I wanted to date her.. it would not even matter to me if she wore adult diapers and rubber pants... and I have dated a few that have had those on.. I like women very much.. always have... they all bring something to the table.. take care

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    • 3mo

      Thanks!
      What if she lived a few hours away from you?

    • 3mo

      Well if that was the case I would try to at least chat with her one day.. and hope that we hit it off.. if all went well.. a lunch date or maybe even going to see a movie would be brought up by me... there are no set patterns for me to try and get a date but am not desperate to find one.. I just hope a bit of luck is on my side.. we then go from there

  • Fear of rejection.

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  • Her not being my type

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  • If she is flirting with a bunch of other dudes,
    I will not ask her out or if i do, i will only keep her as a fck buddy, thats it.

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  • Race and everything that comes with it. Men are rational, not emotional. For men, having a crush or falling in love with someone is irrelevant when it comes to dating or asking girls out.
    Speaking from a White guy's perspective, I can tell that White men don't date women who belong to cultures associated with negative stereo-types, which really almost includes all non-White girls except East Asian girls.
    And even then, only White guys who hate White girls and feel hated themselves and rejected by them (without actually ever trying to ask a White girl out) date East Asian girls.
    Well, and when it comes to White girls, most White guys don't hit on them or ask them out anymore either. Most White guys believe that all White girls nowadays are feminists, which means they hate White males (that's what feminism means from a White guy's perspective), and that they prefer to date non-White guys.
    Of course, White girls only date non-White guys when they themselves feel hated and rejected by White guys, so we're having a rather twisted and complicated situation on our hands here.

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    • 3mo

      Yes, sounds really complicated. Thanks for sharing your opinion!

  • 9/10 he isn't sure she likes him back

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  • All the above.

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  • Maybe he's into another girl (maybe even in love with her). Maybe he doesn't think you would want him to ask you out. There could be many reasons. Don't take it too personally.

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    • 3mo

      Trying not to, it just feels difficult to figure out what's going on sometimes.
      I've definitely made it clear that I like him and he doesn't have another girl he's into as far as I know.
      Thanks!

  • Her penis.

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    • 3mo

      Well. Okay.

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    • 3mo

      Lol...

    • 3mo

      I definitely got lost, but appreciated the effort nonetheless.

  • Herpes.

    Simple answer for a simple question.

    Cheers ;)

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    • 3mo

      Well. That's definitely not the answer. Thanks, though!

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    • 3mo

      see, and you thought the herpes answer was useless. I figured it would get your attn if you were serious.

    • 3mo

      Lol. I definitely am serious.
      I actually read it at first to mean that if she possesses these qualities, that's literally the only thing that would keep him from wanting to be with her.

  • Can't think of anything!!!

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    • 3mo

      Lol. I'm having trouble with it, too!

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    • 3mo

      No problem... I'm certainly not having any problems. I'm sure you'll be just fine too. Good luck with your search...👍😊

    • 3mo

      Thank you!!

  • There could be many things. If you're interested in a guy don't wait for him. Don't be afraid to make the first move.

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    • 3mo

      Thanks! I feel like he made the first one and I followed suit, yet when I liked him back, he got weird. Good advice on the not waiting, though - I appreciate it.

  • In an office environment, she expects him to ask her out in person somehow despite there are heaps colleagues sitting nearby. If he doesn't then he must be not that into her.

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    • 3mo

      It's definitely not an office environment...

    • 3mo

      personal story. She verbalised that she wanted me to take her out to some restaurants outside of work for dinner. I didn't have my phone at the time, and no pieces of paper to get her number. I wrote all that in an email later to her because it was convenient since we both are in the know that we like each other. She backed out because I didn't do that in person.

    • 3mo

      Wow. That seems extreme. I honestly didn't expect that much from him. I just expected that he'd keep liking me enough to ask me out. I appreciate your story!

  • Nothing, you shouldn't have problems if you're all 3

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    • 3mo

      I actually thought the same thing. I've found that I'm wrong, for some reason.

  • The fact that we're in different countries you little kitten ! 😉

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    • 3mo

      Lol. Well, there is some distance between myself & this guy, too. Maybe that's all it is.

  • Fear of rejection.

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  • Guys fear rejection the most

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    • 3mo

      Do they fear it as much as a girl wanting to be in a relationship with them?

  • her face
    hey body
    her personality
    who she hangs out with
    what she does in life
    her relatives
    her religious views
    her gross income
    her amount of passed relationships
    how many time's she's mated without wanting children
    her past
    what she expects from you
    what she expects from others
    That's all I can think of off the top of my head

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    • 3mo

      thought of a few more
      age
      political views
      his interest
      her interest
      her race
      what she supports
      if She's clean
      if she can cook
      if she has any illnesses
      is she safe

  • The only thing that is stopping you two from dating is the fact that nobody has asked the other put. So do it.

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    • 3mo

      Out*

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    • 3mo

      If he's that freaked out by the advances that you've already made then he is already not going to ask you out. Your best bet is to just go for it.

    • 3mo

      Thinking about it - thank you.

  • lots of things really , mainly lots of peopel around judging him, or her havng a boyfriend with the later being the most common reason

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  • A kid. Or being too old. Or fat. Those are the Big Three.

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  • Umm... she's too full of herself?

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    • 3mo

      My description of myself was not meant to come off as conceited... just being honest and genuine, wondering why a guy would hold off if he has a girl with those qualities who likes him.

    • 3mo

      He could just be "not attracted," no matter how pretty she thinks she is. Or what she thinks of as witty isn't really. Or she has an annoying voice. Or she smells bad (too much perfume, not enough bathing, needs Listerine).

    • 3mo

      Oh. I was mostly just basing it on descriptors he's used himself in reference to me. My voice has been described as therapeutic in the past, so my guess is it isn't classified as annoying by most.
      He's remarked on my smelling good, particularly my hair...

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What Girls Said 16

  • Rejection.

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  • Not knowing she is interested
    Not being interested in her
    Already being in a relationship
    Already having his eye on someone else
    Not wanting to be in a relationship right now
    Not being into women

    ... there are many possible reasons.

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  • Not interested in a relationship cause for some men for them dating means serious relationshop even if they are not really in a relationship just in the phase of getting to know each other to see if thing will work out or not but some mean just relly like to be single, free of relationship drama with a lady therefore they dont care not to date.

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    • 3mo

      Makes sense. Unfortunately.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah, he's given me lots of signs, also. Then it seems to have stalled out. I've been out w a few other guys, but keep being preoccupied with this one.

    • 3mo

      The guy i liked we wven made out and talk about going out again but that never happened

  • Simply not being attracted

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  • He probably thinks you're not into him. Too many smarty, witty girls give off an "eff the world" vibe that keeps guys at arm's length. They're afraid to be vulnerable and flirt openly with guys, so guys just assume that she's not interested. It's even worse if she's really attractive.

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    • 3mo

      Hm. Could be.
      I've definitely openly flirted with him, and definitely don't possess an 'f the world' vibe, to my knowledge. Lol - but I guess, I could be without knowing it

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    • 3mo

      Hm - interesting. I'll definitely have to ask. Thank you!

    • 3mo

      This girl gets it. Take her advice!

  • Fear of rejection

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  • The fear... of rejection

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  • He's just not that into you!

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  • His body!

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  • for me I would just assume he just wants to be friends and not interested in being in a relationship with me

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  • "I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger"

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  • a nine month preggie belly!!

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  • IF YOU ARE OUTTA HIS LEAGUE OR YOU UGLY AF OR HE UGLY AF OR HE IS ASEXUAL

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  • Pocket size

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  • He doesn't like her.
    He's gay.
    He's not single.
    He doesn't want a relationship.
    He's aromantic.
    He's scared of rejection.
    He's not attracted to her.

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  • Very good question. Let's see what the men here have to say...

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    • 3mo

      the three aspects kitten has described should attract all men bar the ones who are restrained by their own insecurities, whatever that may be.

    • 3mo

      Interesting. I feel pretty confident that I possess the three qualities listed in the question, so I'm just trying to think outside the box as to what exactly could be happening. Thank you!

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