Can a 22 year old and 17 year old have sex/date (in my state age of consent is 16)?

I just want to know if this is OK. Should these two people have a sexual relationship or just date? What would be better? Should they wait until the teen is 18? Is it frowned upon more if the adult was male Vs female and the teenager was female Vs male? Lastly, the adult (female) doesn't want anything serious. The teenager (male) is very mature and takes care of himself. His mom is an uninvolved parent. What would happen if these two love birds keep hanging out with mutual friends and alone (seldomly)? The group dynamic is great!! PS: They knew each other for awhile... but suddenly the attraction is incredible!! :'( Help me...

  • Yes, but wait until he's 18!
    78% (14)68% (15)72% (29)Vote
  • Yes, only if it's a one time thing!
    17% (3)5% (1)10% (4)Vote
  • No, that's weird!
    5% (1)27% (6)18% (7)Vote
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Updates:
3mo I'm deleting this ASAP. I didn't think anyone would understand. I have to be honest with him... eventually and just tell him it's wrong!! I like him as a person. Who knows. Maybe when I'm 30 and he's 25 it WILL BE WAY DIFFERENT! Fuck off.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay first of relax you know just as well as we all do that eighteen is the safest age. Now if you feel that the attraction is big enough and it was mutual I'd say way the risk and at that point if you still feel the attachment and attraction is valid then make a move. I'm sure he'll be more than happy about it and honestly you've bin circling round it back and forth for a while. Do understand this though he is young still and so are you attraction especially at his age followed by sex often means he will be wanting commitment of some sort most likely in way of a relationship. Be aware of that fact and if you feel that you wouldn't mind it then move on it. I feel as long as some form of dating process is attempted then you would be just fine.

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    • 3mo

      You just earned an MHO

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    • 3mo

      Well like I said I can't tell you not to the heart wants what it wants just do try a dating approach before a sexual action if at all possible at least then I would feel at least socially it would be more acceptable. That's my only suggestion on the matter.

    • 3mo

      As for you calling it off I think you talking to him honestly would be wise and allowing open communication on the matter and being open about what you would like to happen would be the best approach.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Legally, sure.

    But why not just wait until he's 18 when you'll for sure be in the free and clear morally, ethically, and legally?

    No one will be able to argue against you at that point.

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    • 3mo

      TBH I don't want to have sex with him. We just like kissing. I wouldn't feel right doing that!!

What Guys Said 19

  • Its legal (and because of the fact that its a guy who is that young you won't have any issues unlike if the genders where reversed). I would say is up to you and him, now if you don't want something serious and he does then I think the right thing for you to do would be to say no and explain your reasons, if your both wanting the same thing then it might be worth giving a try its a bit of an age gap but quite frankly at 17 your old enough to know what your getting into so I don't think its exactly wrong just a bit odd. Just see how it goes I guess tell him what your looking for etc and see how he reacts.

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  • I don't like the options. You are not doing anything wrong, both legally and morally.

    Ignore the people below. Do what you want.

    Firstly, the age of consent isn't 18 it's 16 so you could date or have sex with the person. There is no issue.

    Secondly, looking at it from a moral perspective, it's down to you but I don't see any issue. I'm from the U. K. With the age of consent being 16, and 17 year olds date people up to 28. That's a bit extreme but point is it's not for anyone to decide.

    So if he's 18 he can join the military and kill people, but he can't have sex with someone he likes when he's 17? Makes no sense.

    Just go out or have sex with the kid if you want to. Not if the people below are telling you. There's nothing you are doing wrong.

    He's a not a boy, you said he's above age so he's and adult know.

    Just do it.

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  • Lmao at replies , these nerds prolly didn't made it to first base till they were like 22 or something lol Get laid

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  • I would tell you if you want it and he wants it, then go for it. It sounds like it is legal in your state.. So if you want to date him or just sleep with him, then enjoy and have fun

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  • You didn't have an option for "Go for it as often as you want."

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    • 3mo

      At least someone understands. I am not usually into anyone this young. He's very smart--reads stuff I learn in college... looks older... has an interesting view on life. I don't know... I just like making out with him... :'(

  • Go ahead and have fun thats a small age gap

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    • 3mo

      Thanks :) If he was just some random 17 year old I wouldn't be interested. I just like him, as a person. Our souls connect... :'( I'm so ashamed.

    • 3mo

      Don't be it's fine!

  • Statutory rape.
    I've reported you to the authorities. Have fun in the pokey.

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  • Legal, but disgusting.

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  • Where is the obvious answer? There's nothing wrong with it. Go at it all you want.

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  • If it's legal, why not? I see nothing wrong with it. Provided it's legal.

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  • Well... To be honest in some states 17 is legal. There's also correct way to go about this.

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  • Why do you want to have sex with a 17 year old boy?

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  • Ask parents , or her dad might kick the shit out of you!

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  • That's weird. Especially being you want nothing serious. You can go to the bar but this kid can't even buy cigarettes. What kind of friends do you have that are in there 20s and choose to hang out with kids thst age?

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    • 3mo

      I know it's weird. I'm not proud of it.

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    • 3mo

      I guess it was more of a "trusting a guy thing" than just trying to get with someone. I didn't have to be weird by saying no. He listened to me. I built trust, because he didn't go farther than I wanted. Anyway, I'm scared of rape at college parties. For me to trust that teenager actually helped me a little bit. Now I have courage to tell other guys no. Yes, I have a problem... but it has nothing to do with his age or being disgusting :'( !! I'm done though. Help?

    • 3mo

      Rape at college isn't an every day occurance. Protecting yourself is also always needed. You obviously never leave a beer can/cup/bottle laying unattended and come back to it. I always covered the top of it with my hand. I was roofed once mistakenly for failing to do this. I left my drink by a group of girls thst drove up home from the lacrosse house a week earlier and came back to it. long story short, I had the worst hangover of my life after 6 beers the next day snd those guys didn't get any from those girls. Again I didn't black out but I was heavily intoxicated over time. Once I got back to my dorm. The big misconception is roofies are immediate and their not. Also don't be white girl wasted then.

      Anyway what do you mean about saying "no" and you need help?

  • Keep it on the low

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    • 3mo

      I felt so ashamed... and ended it. I broke my own heart. I just thought maybe it would have been OK... but I had a guilty conscience. OK lol would it be bad to date a 19 or 20 year old... like... at college?

    • 3mo

      Age shouldn't matter but because you're so young prow I'll tell if they find out

    • 3mo

      Lol. I don't know anymore... I'm also scared because my dorm hall is coed!!!

  • If it's legal, that doesn't make it moral

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    • 3mo

      I don't look my age, he doesn't look young--he looks about 20... and if you saw us together... it wouldn't even look bad. I like him in some way and I don't know y.

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    • 3mo

      It's not immoral, not because it's legal, but because she's sexually mature.

    • 3mo

      oh it's def. immoral

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What Girls Said 8

  • Why are you even looking children?

    You even know he's neglected by his parent and you're *taking advantage* of that. That's SICK.

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  • Only you two can answer this question seriously. Follow your conscience. But whatever you do, do it safe.

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  • You shouldn't date a minor and I really dont get why you would want to in the first place

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    • 3mo

      He looks 20. He's not random... he's a good friend. He has this huge crush on me... has for years. I wouldn't want to be with any other guy this young... just him. He's so much older... inside. He had a tough life. I didn't think anyone would understand... but I gave it my best shot. I actually just want to kiss him a little... he wants me... too... It might be fucked up, but it's mutual.

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    • 3mo

      I know. I shouldn't have asked this. People don't understand. Fuck everything.

    • 3mo

      I'm a cougar lollll

  • Why do you want a younger guy? He has a mindset probably similar to a 15 yr old girl.

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    • 3mo

      I'm scared... like... I did this for him. Lol. He's had a big crush on me forever... It wasn't done out of manipulation or evil.

  • I think it's not weird at all

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  • You're not doing any wrong. Ignore the closed minded conservatives.

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  • I don't know what to say but it's your life whatever makes you happy.

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  • Yes its ok for them to date. But if you're the 22 one then i think you shouldn't date him, cause he's still young and immature. You would rather want a man not a boy. But if he's the one whos 22, just be careful around him too, and i suggest you not to rush into sex. Not until you two have dated long enough for you to trust him. Cause if you rush into it, you never know if he was just using you for sex or not.

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