So I'm 19, and I have a friend who's 30. He and I get along great.
He likes me and has shown interest in taking me out and seeing me on a more romantic level... I'm not entirely sure how I feel about him and would love to go on a couple of dates with him to touch the waters, but I feel that this age gap is pretty huge.
He also mentioned to me a few weeks ago that whenever he dates, his main objection is to see if she's wife material. I can totally understand that he's looking for a wife at this age, and I wouldn't want to waste his time given that he doesn't have much time left.
In the past week or so, he has hinted that if we were to see each other, he'd want to consider marrying me eventually, and I'm not gonna lie, I've always thought about getting married ever since I was a very small child. I'm just really unsure, especially since I'm a sophomore in college and I have plans on going to law school..
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Most Helpful Guy
At your age, 11 years difference in a relationship seems much bigger than it is when you are 20 years older. You are really struggling over this. Your schooling tells me you are a young woman with great ambition. Don't do anything to make that change. Don't have children before you are out of school and start your practice. The child will drastically change your life. You will likely regret not finishing your goals when you are older. Most young girls think about marrage when they grow up. My direct advice if you were my daughter would be to tell your friend that your education and career are vital to you and should you and he hit it off, he will have to wait until you are ready to put the energy it takes into having a successful marriage. You have a lot of time to have kids, but he may not want to wait that long. There is a lot that goes into this. Take as long as you need to make this decision. There is a lot that you need to consider. Make sure you do what is best for you, not him. I wish you the best. You are in a tough position.3
Most Helpful Girl
The age gap is substantial but not that bad. I've seen people with bigger age gaps than 11 years. But you need to figure out how you feel for him and if you want to go on a few dates with him, go ahead but make it clear to him that you're still unsure and it's the best way for you to figure it out.
I've seen couples married with 30 and 40 years age gaps and live years together happy. One couple I know is 42 years apart and still happy together. They've been together for the last 30 years. One of the partners is in their 90s while the other is in their 50s. It has a toll but it shouldn't stop you from dating. Yes, there's adjustments to make but that's every relationship. No relationship is perfect and the age gap does have different struggles but it shouldn't be a problem if you understand them.1