Why can't I accept I'm unlovable?

I'm turning 21 soon. I'm studying to become a pastry cheff. I have lots of frends. I love my family. But one thing keeps bothering me. I'm single. I've always been single, I've neker kissed anyone or had sex. I know I shouldn't worry about it. I should be grateful that everything on my life is so good. But I keep waking up in the midfle of the night and I cry that I'm alone. K fricking BUY love stories because I feel like I need to read about romances because I can't experience it.
I feel like I'm disgusting and nobody wants to touch me. Please, is there any way to just stop thinking about love and stuff? It's killing me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I dont think you can. Not for now. It's not a good idea to become a workaholic either. You'd enter burnout soon enough. Best option right now? Work on solving it. Identify your defects. See what kind of image you have with people who you know and people you dont know. Start working on yourself. Become a better you. After all, if you're that lonely you might as well be happy with yourself right? Without further details I can't really help you. If you wanna talk/message me, feel free to ask anything.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't assume you are disgusting or never going to find love or that you're unlovable because you're 21 and single. I know so many girls my age that have never had boyfriends. Can you honestly say you have had many opportunities to meet guys to draw that kinda conclusions about yourself? Or that you're in the right environments often to meet guys? Or that you put yourself out there enough? The only reason I met my boyfriend was because I was on Tinder in the first place and now I'm SO glad I made that move. I would have been single if it wasn't for that most likely.

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What Guys Said 7

  • No. There's no way to stop thinking about it. I'm pretty sure that you're not disgusting, and that there are plenty of guys out there who want to touch you, who'd want to love you. And you could easily experience it, if you really wanted to. All you need to do is just take a chance on someone.

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    • 3mo

      I've been approached several times by drunk 50-something men but that is it. It is not that easy.

  • You can't accept it because you deserve love, true love!

    We are in exactly the same boat here. I also feel this longing to give my heart to someone and be loved back. To look someone in the eyes and never wanting to loose her gaze. To hold her hand and never wanting to let go. I'm a dude and I also sometimes cry about this. The thing is I also want this pain to go away but without it my life would just veel so pointless.

    Things I do to keep this longing at bay :
    * Stop watching/reading romantic anything
    * Stop looking at couples
    * Try to be patient for it.
    * Keeping myself busy with a hobby.
    * Keeping myself fit

    But I think getting a pet you can hold and love would help a lot more than any of my ideas.

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  • Ever heard of the saying "for someone to love you , you must first love yourself"?

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  • stop buying "love" stories and go find a guy you like and ask him out, most girls are lovable and are loved, the problem is girls think/assume guys have to do everything when it doesn't work that way.

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  • tribute for u
    any way assuming u have normal looks didn't any guy approach u

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZvU2UfJFlA

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  • If you give up you will be unlovable because your not out there fore someone to pickup.

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  • Not unless you bury yourself in your work constantly

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    • 3mo

      Ah, I'll try that

    • 3mo

      Hopefully someone will notice you that you like someday

What Girls Said 3

  • You don't have to stop thinking about it. It will happen sooner or later but crying about it won't make it happen faster. I think you are a lot like me. I am a hopeless romantic... I am highly sensitive and I love deeply. I am 22yo and I have kissed a few guys but my love story so far has been very very dramatic. I don't know if it is better to just be single and cry about it or cry rivers for a guy that is an idiot

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  • Hey, look on the bright side! The less people you have to love and be loved by, the less funerals you have to attend!!

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    • 3mo

      This is indeed a very good point

    • 3mo

      On a serious note, self-love should not be measured based on how much external validation you can receive from men. If you can reach a point of pure bliss and satisfaction going to bed every night with the person that you are, then surely someone will come along and love you just as much if not more in due time.

  • Put yourself out there! Mingle. I'm sure you're beautiful and there are plenty of guys out there who will think the same.

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