Age gaps: What's wrong and what's right?

There's this guy at my college who I really like.. I'm 16 and he's 21 and we met while I was touring around the campus. We're pretty close right now and we both like each other and as you can see, there's a problem with us "dating". I know in the state I'm at it's illegal for us to have sex. That's not the issue, however, I'm scared of what people might say. Is it even illegal to date and know the other? Also, what's the pros and cons of age gaps? What's too much of an age gap to be precise?

I honestly need advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Overall its a bad idea.

    Pros:
    He might have his own place, own car, etc. which guys your age might not have.

    He can do stuff guys your age can't do, like buy alcohol etc.

    He's more mature?*(see cons)

    Cons:
    It's illegal for you to have sex.

    5 year age gap at your age is huge, you will be at very different points in your life and realistically it's gonna be extremely hard to keep the relationship together.

    People are going to judge both of you, and your parents are probably not gonna be happy.

    *And the biggest one in my opinion, there has to be something wrong with the guy. Him wanting to date a 16 year old girl is in my opinion comparable to you wanting to date a 13 year old boy. It's just not healthy, what reason could he possibly have for going 5 years down at his age instead of going for girls his own age? I mean if you were 21 years old what kind of a person would you have to be to go for a 16 year old? That tells something about how mature he really is.

    And if you want to know whats a good age gap to have, the youngest someone should date is their own age divided by two, and then add seven to that. So the youngest he should be dating is 18 year olds. (rounding up)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think personally both parties should be legal, not age of consent, like anyone above 18 realistically should be dating someone 18 and above as well, I can understand being 17 and turning 18 but thats as far as I think it should go. Personally I feel there are huge mile stones between the two and you being 16 you have to think at 21 what do you have that other females around his age don't? I hope he doesn't think he can take advantage of you because a lot of 16 year olds dating older think they're 'special' and would realistically do anything for their older lovers (personal experience).

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What Guys Said 1

  • Personally, I'd say that as long as you're both 18+ then age really doesn't matter, but if you're under 18 it may be a bad idea

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What Girls Said 6

  • When you are a teenager, the age gap shouldn't be more than two years. Once you are an adult, anything goes (as long as both of you are adults).

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  • "I'm scared of what people might say" Why? It's not their relationship
    Only the two of you know how you feel.

    I met my son's dad when I was 16 and he was 22. Things haven't worked out, but we had three fantastic years together. That time was most amazing time. I'm so happy he came into my life.
    He'll always be part of my life, but it just wasn't meant to last.

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    • 3mo

      So if you wanna be a single mom at 20, follow this advice.

  • Age gaps are only wrong when it's illegal in my opinion. If it's legal no one should give a shit, and mind their own business.

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  • Age gaps are fine once you're over 18. I'm 20 and seeing a 25 year old.

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  • You're sixteen, wait until ur 18 to start dating him...

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  • Go for it!
    At the end of the day you don't need to have sex. And you like who you like. Ages just a number.
    my boyfriends 4 years but they're mentally younger anyway.

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