Who is more insecure men or women... (please read additional details)?

People say women are more insecure. what confuses me is though... despite being insecure most women will seek out the top 10-20% of attractive males to have sex. How do i know this (I don't 100% but I have seen enough proof/other people talk about it to know it is at least somewhat true)? Well there has been lots of information about the whole 80% of women sleep with 20% men statement... but recently i watched something called 'Love Island'. It's a UK show with very attractive people dating etc... the guys on the program (this was like 7-10 of them) chatted about how they have slept with 300-500 different women. It seems a large amount (not all women of course) throw themselves at these men. One of the guys talked about women literally jumping in naked to his bed. Anyways 500 different women? That is crazy... these men were in the top 10% looks and were muscular (some very jacked). One even spoke about sleeping with a mother and then a daughter in the same day...

Lets flip it.. lots of people have talked about/backed up men generally don't approach the best looking girls because they think they are not good enough/won't have a chance. It seems either men are more desperate for sex... but then women enjoy sex more if done right and are equally as 'horny' as men. But then dating/sex as we all know is in the girls court... they practically dictate it. And it seems like they will throw themselves at these top looking jacked dudes and not really have any interest having sex with someone less then that... yet they are insecure? I don't get it...

From my view it seems like girls are insecure about how they look because of what they see in magazines/models... but they will still go out of their way to see if they can pick up the best looking guy (ones that look like models funnily enough)? And if a guy on their level approaches them they will have their barriers up and expect him to woe her completely...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ahhh yes... I have *befriended* many of these hundred women men. They are great to look at, but I got to know them and only ended up dating one because of his personality. He was also fat through most of his life, so he wasn't used to all that attention and didn't let it inflate his ego because he knew it wasn't real.

    Now why on earth do these women who are so insecure try to get these, what should seem like to an insecure person, unattainable males? You do realize these guys sleep with pretty much anyone who isn't really fat? To quote one of these friends of mine " everyone looks good if you drink enough."
    Well these women know that. The hot guy who's an asshole is almost always easier to have sex with, plus it boosts their confidence to know they slept with someone that hot.
    The most insecure girl I knew slept with over 100 guys like this. She would call me immediately afterwards, crying. I would ask why do you keep doing this to yourself? The answer is so simple: just don't sleep with these guys? Wait for someone who's not an ass. Her response : I don't know. I can't. They're just so hot. When they pay attention to me, I want them to like me and I know they like that.

    It's a sad state of affairs and my heart breaks for these women. They do eventually go for other guys, but in their younger years, everything tells them that is the guy they want.
    I was lucky and had confidence, but never, ever went for the hot guy. No matter how hard he tried or said I love you - which I never believed. I knew they were most likely liars or cheaters and I didn't deserve that. Everyone who ever met the guy I dated through high school thought I was joking because he wasn't tall, jacked or hot. To me he was attractive and he was one of the best boyfriends I ever had at this point... But he tried very hard to pursue me.

    I think it all boils down to how much you respect and show an effort to care for a girl/woman. If you get the courage to be yourself and show her what's good about yourself and follow through with asking her out, then she will most likely give you a chance. Trying is key. These females won't usually come to you. They don't know if you'd even like them, where with the hot guy, we know we can at least sleep with him. Sometimes, if they're really smooth, women will even think they have a chance afterwards... which usually they don't. False hope gets some women through the day. What can I say? Humans are messed up man.

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    • 3mo

      Thanks! That was really interesting to read, it explains a few things. It just kinda sucks girls won't approach guys that are say 6-7/10 or less even if they are insecure...

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    • 3mo

      But yeah subtle hints he may not pick up on... if he is not used to them like the hot looking guys are... they will see a girl playing with her hair or something... she would then approach him and say your handsome XYZ and ask him out... well if you have never experienced that correlation e. g a girl doing X subtle hint and then telling you she likes you... he wouldn't pick up on it.

    • 3mo

      Oh wow. That explains a LOT. Thank you... That cleared up a lot of confusion...

Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally I think it depends on the ma:woman ratio in your city. I'm not a drop dead handsome model and don't have a 14 incher but I have no problem. It all boils down to confidence. Women can be more confident (less insecure) because no matter what there will always be guys wanting them. Men on the other hand, we have to work at it and face it, most of us don't have women throwing themselves at us naked. So ya guys are generally more insecure when it comes to finding bedmates. Looks on the other hand is a different story.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Men are more insecure. Women have learned to mask their insecurities with bras, makeup , plastic surgery. But how can a man really mask his?
    Plus, women are judged on their looks so we are used to being insecure and kind of grown comfort in it. Being insecure is kinda foreign for men especially when it comes to looks. But these days men are getting judged on their looks more.

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  • Tbh I think it's about even, it's just that women have a lot of things they are somewhat insecure about while men have one or two thing they are terribly insecure about. It evens out.

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  • Men without a doubt are way more insecure. Especially when the woman they like is super attractive and they know she could have any other men. Ofc as a woman I'm insecure myself, when my man is super good looking. I know he could have any women he want too. I'm not very good at hiding my feelings. So I always let him know when I'm feeling not good enough for him. He's Mr. Cool / Confident though, I could never pin him down 😒

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    • 3mo

      Yeah I think girls can get away with telling their man they don't think they are good enough. If a guy does that (depending on a girl) that is seen as a very feminine trait.

    • 3mo

      I don't think that's necessarily looked at as feminine, but it's definitely seen as a way to begin the break up process. Usually a player type or hot guy will say, you deserve better than me. I'm a terrible person, I'm just not good enough... most women know thats code for he does not want a relationship wth you. Some feel bad and try even harder. I've never had someone say he's feminine because he said he's not good enough. Some women find it endearing. However if it's something you bring up on a daily basis, most females simply find it annoying... Which isn't fair because they prob complain about stuff all the time, but I had a really close friend who always experienced girls breaking up with him and didn't know why. I asked if he talks to them how he talks to me. He said yes, (we have been friends for 20years). Once I told him the complaining can be a bit much for women, just don't bring it up so much, things got better in that department for him. it's important to voice ur feelings

  • You should get more facts... -_-

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    • 3mo

      I don't have the time to look up more facts. But i have heard quite a few people talk about it who could give you better/more facts. It was more of a discussion thread... I wasn't trying to educate people or anything.

    • 3mo

      Mmm...

  • I thought Men were more insecure but we're better at hiding it

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  • Women

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  • Men are in my opinion

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What Guys Said 11

  • The truth is that men and women can and are just as insecure as the other. Many men are, but do a better job of hiding it. Women are generally much more open with their thoughts, feelings and emotions than men. If men were the same, you would see just as many men as women.

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    • 3mo

      That's very true! My crush is so Grrr... I mean he act so tough almost reckless. While I'm pouring out my feelings to him. And the moment I tell him I'm interested in some other guy. He would get all annoyed and curious about me.

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    • 3mo

      @SunFlower30 From what I've seen/heard. Some women like men that don't show that they care that much.. it keeps you on your feet i think is the phrase. You don't like it but it makes you lust over him sexually. If you loved him with your heart what reason exactly would you have if he showed he didn't care? But hey take that with a bag of salt i'm no expert.

    • 3mo

      Omg!!! You read my mind!!! I blame myself because in the very beginning I told him, that I like to chase vs being chase. Only because I'm so used to being chase it's no fun for me now that I'm 28. He was chasing me in the beginning, until I clue in that I like guys who play hard to get 😭 but I only say that because I wasn't sure of my feelings. I never chase a guy before he's my first.

  • Men because that beautiful girl can easily go and get another guy in almost one minute.

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  • Men and women I believe have different struggles and challenges so I say both in different ways. I can speak as a man and say I was insecure about how I saw myself in the past, mostly when I was younger when it was time to talk to girls, I tended to avoid rather than interact due to my insecurity and shyness. At times even today I have to pep talk myself and talk it out with family and friends to encourage myself, and I gotten tremendous help and encouragement from friends and family and that helps me have a better view of myself and the world around. I've done a lot of work in myself and I am far more confident than I have ever been.

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  • Most men dont mind to fuck insecure women but most women would not fuck insecure men. Thats what i think.

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    • 3mo

      Plenty of women are with insecure men. But if you don't get the guts to talk to her or ask her out, then how do you expect anything to happen?

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    • 3mo

      Or if they are simply more secure with themselves, they are the ones who end up taking on that weighty responsibility. I'm sorry guys. God made women look good because he knows how much trouble we can be. ;P I think women tend to more insecure overall. I don't know a lot who have ever asked a guy out.

    • 3mo

      @Xyzg123 yeah thats true. Women that are somewhat insecure need a little more work tham those who dont but it can work.

  • Its even

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  • both are. but i think women are more

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  • If women are more in secure than men then These PSA commercials about girl power are pointless

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    • 3mo

      Well guys have it drilled into them that they have to be masculine and confident. Lets say guys are more insecure... they would never make that kind of commercial for them because people would find it funny.

  • WOMEN ARE.. THEY NEED SO MUCH RE ASSURANCE THAT ITS SCARY

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    • 3mo

      My crush need more reassurance then I do. And he's a fine looking man. Although he never ask me, but I can always tell by his actions.

    • 3mo

      @SunFlower30 well there's always going to be an exception to the rule.. its all good though. everyone likes positive reinforcement but when you RELY on that, it shows weakness

  • Men are more insecure because women make them.

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  • How dare you compare women with us men?

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    • 3mo

      I agree on the level that the two are completely different creatures. However all humans get insecure at some point or another.

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    • 3mo

      Nice one dude. You're single. And have been for a long time, huh? I know. It's hard. Maybe one day you won't be complete jerk and someone might love you.

    • 3mo

      Shut up!!

  • Women are very insecure. Hence, why they always reassurance over and over they are pretty. And they often tend to be easy picking for men who target women with low self esteem, and PUA.

    Do not let their false sense of bravado fool u.

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    • 3mo

      I agree women are insecure. And I don't need to reassure myself I'm pretty and such. I can't speak for all women, but I'm only insecure when I have feelings for the guy I'm into.

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