Why can I barely get a date while promiscuity and cheating comes so easily for others?

I wonder about this for both sexes. I see all these statistics and hear all these stories about cheaters, and it frustrates me because it feels so unfair. It feels like people can't help but cheat because everyone is just throwing themselves at everyone else. How are they so confident about touching and flirting? Not just the cheaters; bloggers and articles talk about rebound sex, calling up ex's for sex, regretting their numerous 1-night stands, or sex after a few dates. They make it sound so easy, like they can't help but do it. I had social anxiety and severe shyness for a long time, and I've been trying to be more confident, but it feels so hard and unnatural as an introvert.

What makes cheaters and promiscuous people so different? It's like if they get too drunk, they'll end up with a girl or guy. If I get too drunk, nothing happens and I just end up having a good time with guy friends or frustrated about being alone. I even went through a blackout drunk phase because I thought it would help me hookup, but it didn't work. I feel bitter and jealous that these cheaters get to experience sexual relationships so naturally. I'm still a virgin at 26 and never had a girlfriend... I manage to get a date online with a decent girl every 3 months or so. It seems like the dates I go on are with nice girls and I don't want to pressure them into anything, but maybe I just get that impression because I'm too passive. Usually there are a few kisses by the 3rd date. Then, sometimes she ends it or I end it; sometimes it's mutual. I feel like I don't want a long-term relationship anymore; I want to join in on the hookup culture of dating. I don't want to cheat, but I wish dating and sex were more natural for me. I want to experience hooking up after a few dates, and then deciding if things won't work out like others. I want to flirt with single girls. I want to casually date someone for a few months without thinking about long-term consequences. I dunno. Why am I different?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • same here.
    its cause we are picky with who we date, we dont just throw ourselves at anybody. I don't know about you, but the stories seem entertaining but i could never engage in that stuff.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Brother I feel you. For the longest time no matter what I did girls just didn't care. And because of that my confidence went down. I looked on line at article after article about how to get girls. That never worked for me. And it may not work for you but it wouldn't hurt. Find a girl to just talk to and be friends. This way you think of her as just a friend and that. And by being her friend you become more confident around girls and not shy and uncomfortable. And you can practice flirting on her. And then you will see how much easier it is. And if you end up dating that girl who is your friend there is someone you can trust and all those new experiences with girls will be even more memorable and meaningful.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • Its because if you are a valuable commodity then ultimately you will be wanted. A guy who is ugly AF with a demeanor that sucks will have a better chance if he is in a relationship.

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  • There is a difference between being a nice guy and a door mat. Unless you go to a strip club a woman wants you to make the first move. So yeah go for it more often and if you meet a nice girl like you said every 3 months then be a little more forward without being aggressive. Also the reason you see so many cheaters is because dating today is two people scared to catch feelings so they try to out asshole each other and the person who cares the least controls everything

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