If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend had depression and that it wasn't getting better, would you think it was your fault?

  • Yea
    15% (5)16% (4)16% (9)Vote
  • No, I can't influence it
    42% (14)56% (14)48% (28)Vote
  • Depends
    43% (14)28% (7)36% (21)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Been there, lived it.
    I helped her and we looked forward, until it was my turn to have a big health problem. Then she helped me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "If someone had a physical imbalance of neurotransmitters and/or receptors in their brain, would that be my fault?"

    Um... no.
    (:

    The only thing that COULD be "my fault" would be... a lack of empathy.
    And, ironically, "thinking it's my fault" would not only be narcissistic as fuck, but would also display a pretty much COMPLETE lack of empathy.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah see, I always think that if you think it's your fault it's because you think you can't make the other person happy

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    • 3mo

      No problem ❤️ People like you make my life so much better

    • 3mo

      ahh rly? Wow that made my day <3

What Guys Said 9

  • I wouldn't think it was my fault, no. Now if she seemed to become MORE depressed in the relationship then I might think so. But generally people who have depression are gonna be depressed no matter what.

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  • No, I've got it and its not the fault of my SO

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  • Depends. But I would always be there for her that's for sure

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  • It not my fault. But if I can't help her then it my fault. Guy like to solve thing and if we can't, it bother us.

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  • if I'm not helping them snap out of it then I'm not doing my part.

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    • 3mo

      You can't "snap out" of depression

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    • 3mo

      @redeyemindtricks just wondering, but did both extremes mellow out (I mean was it just the maniac portion that mellowed out, or was it the depression portion as well)?

    • 3mo

      Both.

      In my younger manic phases, I couldn't focus on anything that wasn't hands-on and active (and in the most intense throes of that mania, I couldn't even focus on things that required standing still, like welding -- I had to literally be in motion constantly. In retrospect, this probably had a lot to do wiht how I was still 120-125lbs at 6'2" even eating my father's Mexican cooking all the time.)
      Now it's more like an extended hypomania, but one that actually allows me to sit down and bang out freelance projects for 35 hours at a stretch.

      The remnants of the old depressive phases are more like... *meditative* phases, now. The feeling is difficult to describe. I'm a shit writer in the hypomania phase, but I write REALLY well in that phase.

  • I have felt this way before with the many depressed women I have dated. It's caused me a lot of anxiety myself and I'm not sure If I could date a depressed woman again.

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  • it depends

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  • I suffer from depression and I have had it, to some extent, for all of my adult life. It has no connection to my current girlfriend or any other woman.

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  • No, I can't influence it

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What Girls Said 8

  • No, of course not. My anxiety isn't his fault, his depression wouldn't be my fault.

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  • No, I wouldn't think that unless they told me it was me specifically. Depression usually isn't brought on by any one thing. It's a plethora of events and people and things building up into one giant ball of ickiness.

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  • It depends, like now my boyfriend is going through depression and I'm keeping him happy and positive, he doesn't talk about it a lot but he knows I'm here for him.

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  • I would think it is my fault in the end she/he is my girl/boyfriend for me that means we are sharing something and I need to help her/him to get through from hard situations

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  • I would feel it's my fault if he doesn't get out of depression

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  • No, I wouldn't think it was my fault, but I would wonder what I can do to help him, or make it better, if there was a way.

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  • As long as you are being a good bf/gf you shouldn't be influencing it. I know from experience that sometimes you don't even know why you have depression, all you can do is be there for them, 24/7

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  • nope, it's not

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